Neighbours!

[CatPerson99]

We’ve just had some work done which meant a digger was delivered the day before yesterday and collected today. I’ve just heard my neighbour having a right go at the driver, telling him ‘frankly she is fed up’! We are about to embark on single storey extension on the back of the house which we have planning permission for, so I’m wondering what on earth the workmen will have to contend with then. She’s nice as pie when we see her and hasn’t been round to complain in person. Of note all the other houses in this street have extensions of different sorts, including hers! Should I just act normally next time I see her and pretend I didn’t hear?

What is she fed up with? Do you think it was the noise or was she blocked in?

Have you spoken to her in person about what you're doing? Does she know how much work you're getting done, what hours they'll be working and how noisy/ how much of an inconvenience it will be for her?

We use to get on with our neighbours until we had our extension. They moaning about everything (they knew it was happening), I tried to accommodate them but in the end decided I couldn't face having the same conversation. We had never complained when they had work, although I am tempted to next time.

She was saying it was because there has been a lorry outside to drop it off and again to pick it up. The road was blocked for about 5 minutes each time (perhaps more this time while she was berating the driver) but it wouldn’t have stopped her getting out if she wanted to because the lorry wasn’t blocking her drive. She does know about the extension, but we haven’t got dates for the work yet. I’m a bit concerned because it does seem rather a disproportionate reaction. It did set her dog off, they’ve got rather a highly strung rescue dog which spends most of its time outside.

Just go and speak to them, then deal with it
🙄 The work is going to happen regardless of her attitude

How much have you kept her informed about your plans? When doing major works we have always told neighbours in advance, shown them plans before we put in for planning permission, told them when new things (like a digger arriving) will be happening on site and given them presents of posh biscuits/booze. I'd be pretty hacked off if a noisy digger rocked up next door and my neighbours hadn't warned me about it.

Tell all the tradespeople to direct her to you. They shouldn't have to deal with her crap.

It’s funny you should say that - they had some work done to the chimney a few months ago. I was in the spare room as we were decorating and opened the curtains in the morning to see a builder up a ladder about 10 feet away! I was a bit startled and ended up waving to him!

I just wonder why she wouldn’t come and give me a telling off rather than the poor guy picking it up! Just to clarify it only ran for about 10 minutes yesterday, the chap could probably have used a shovel!

I know this is a very unpopular view on MN…. But you could go and talk to her, in real life, as a person, and have a reasonable discussion….?

But then she’ll know I heard her! I think I’ll stick with cheerful ignorance rather than risk falling out about it. Perhaps she’s just having an off day.

Have you considered being an adult, just for today, and going to talk to her?

We don't speak to our neighbors (for various reasons) but our builder broke a small part of one sides fence. Saw her being very vocal to him. Nothing to us. I sent DH there to clarify what was wrong and we sorted out a solution. Still can't stand the woman but it's best to speak to your neighbor directly about what the issue may be.

@ShirleyPhallus

I know this is a very unpopular view on MN…. But you could go and talk to her, in real life, as a person, and have a reasonable discussion….?

Exactly this. If I was about to embark on some pretty disruptive building work I'd make sure my neighbours knew at the first opportunity. It's just polite.

Thanks for that advice, I’m not sure what I could reasonably say and I don't really want the same experience as that driver was getting!

And yes we have spoken to all our neighbours about our extension and they have all seen the plans.

@CatPerson99

Thanks for that advice, I’m not sure what I could reasonably say and I don't really want the same experience as that driver was getting!

Ah, so not just a cat person, but a scaredy cat person.

What exactly do you think will happen to you if your neighbour raises her voice? Will you melt?

I may well do! She is very fierce and as you have noticed I am not (sadly!)

So? Unless you think she will physically attack you- what are you afraid of? Sticks and stones etc…

It might be silly but those sorts of things really upset me

Yep. It’s silly. You’re an adult.

Is your extension going to involve digging foundations within 3m of her house?

Thank you.

She's being an arse. Maybe just apologise in advance for any inconvenience just to keep her sweet.

Thank you!