To find toddler hard work…

[Alfiesmummy891]

I have a 3.5 year old and work 2 days a week, the other three I am home with him. He doesn’t sleep well so wakes most nights at least once and is up at 5am, luckily husband who wfh takes this in turns with me so I don’t have to get up every day so early.

I just find the days I am with my son really hard. We have tv early in the morning as I don’t want to play at 530am! Throughout the day we go to the park, out on his bike, to the beach, play areas, zoos etc etc. I do puzzles, painting, colouring, read books etc with him. It always feels like it’s never enough. He isn’t good at playing on his own or just wants the tv which I really try to limit.

He’s very independent and wants to do what he wants and has lots of tantrums. He’s often huffing when he doesn’t get what he wants. He never listens .. rarely to me, he goes off down the road on his bike and it takes five times of me telling him to stop to make him listen! He definitely listens to others more than me. He even tells me he eats that (brocolli or carrots etc) at nursery but won’t eat same at home!

I just feel like I’m losing my temper with him alot as I find it really hard work! I guess lack of sleep doesn’t help but nothing seems to help and I am dreading the clocks going back as wake up will be 4am!!

Please tell me I’m not alone and any tips?! I’m having to WFH this week all week as there’s Covid at nursery so he can’t go this week so it’s even harder! I admittedly don’t have a lot of me time so have decided to try yoga on a weekend morning plus get myself a bike so I can get myself out!

Thanks for listening….

You need to be firm but fair.

Before going on a bike ride make it clear “if I say stop you stop. If you don’t then we will pick up the bike and go home” no ifs no buts no maybes.

You can practise the “stop/go” idea when playing.

For the playing alone set him up doing an activity with you then leave him while you “nip to toilet” or something. Gradually get him used to entertaining himself.

It’s all normal though for a 3 year old though, they are lovely but a nightmare at the same time

Make yourself a routine eg breakfast, out for exercise, home for lunch, quiet time/telly/reading, craft or creative thing in pm, add in snack times etc. The less you have to think about the day, the less it drags!

See other people in parks if you can. Do at least one thing a day that is just for you.

Look at pics regularly to remind you where you've come from and this is just a blip on the journey.

You could also start an interest eg in nature, do bird watching, bug hunts, leaf printing etc. Pinterest is your friend!

Toddlers are such hard work op, you are v v normal! I found the baby stage an absolute breeze by comparison. I have three ds and my youngest is 4 but I am.lucky as he has his older siblings to play with. Getting out a lot is how i stayed sane, out in parks , beaches , away from roads ( two of mine loved speed and on bikes , scooters it was just too dangerous near roads until older so we went to parks away from roads).
I had to be out by 10 am every bon school morning to physically wear them out and then they were more settled at home. 4 years old is a big turning point. I found 20 months to 3 years hard, hard work..

Yes it is hard. That's parent if a toddler life. It gets easier in some ways when they start school, it won't be long given he's 3.5 years old., you get free pre school hours now and come next sept your toddler will be going to school. I bet you see going to work as a break right now! That's how hard work toddlers are when work feels like a rest from the constant supervision, noise and activity 5.30am to into the night! No maximum working hours for parents!!! Toddlers are mean employers

I hope you can hold on to thought it's not forever and you will start to get back some sanity and breaks in years to come ...

Also child morning TV is a brilliant lifesaver!!! Don't feel any guilt about deploying the electronic babysitter when you need to! I hope you can get a regular rest from someone else. Even a day or afternoon off here and there will help restore your ability to feel like you can cope, if you have a friend or relative that can help out.

Toddlers are hard work!
I am loving this phase because we can finally really communicate, but oh man! He is driving me crazy sometimes!
I work 3dpw, so I am alone with my DS 2dpw and we have a very solid routine.
We normally Split the day in half, half day is something nice for him e.g. playdates, outdoor experience, painting etc
The other half is normally chores done in a playful way, like hoovering, gardening or cleaning together or batch cooking together. In that way i feel is learning a lot of different skills and I feel like I have accomplished something at the end of the day
I also use the TV as a Tool for specific times of the day (normally at evening while I am cooking dinner and DH is late and still in the office )

Normal- it’s hell. To be fair 3.5 was when it got easier for me- 2 was worse.
My children wake at 6..I’m pushing their bedtime back by 30mins this wk in prep for the clocks going back.
Some kids do wake early but 5am every day as standard is early- what’s his nap and sleep time?

Man I thought mine was bad getting up at half 6. What time does he go to bed? That is awfully early and gives u a terrible long day.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Normal- it’s hell. To be fair 3.5 was when it got easier for me- 2 was worse. My children wake at 6..I’m pushing their bedtime back by 30mins this wk in prep for the clocks going back. Some kids do wake early but 5am every day as standard is early- what’s his nap and sleep time?

He doesn’t nap now. He goes to bed at 7, we start the routine at 615… he’s asleep by 7/715. Any later or earlier made no difference and also with a nap no different either! He does stay in his room until 6 when his sun comes up but I am awake from 5 as I can hear him!

Thank you everyone. I feel so guilty for not enjoying it and for feeling stressed and down most days! He will be starting nursery 4 days a week after Xmas as they now have space so life will change alot and I’ll miss him I know! I just hate feeling like I am always telling him off!

Toddlers are absolutely hard work. My DD is nearly 4 and I feel like (occasional epic stubborn tantrums aside) she’s got a lot easier recently, much more likely to play independently with her toys for a while without needing as much input from me. Also I work 4 days so feel like I genuinely cherish, rather than resent, my weekday with her. I’ll miss it when she starts school next year. If I was entertaining her on my own 3 days a week I don’t think I’d feel the same!

Three year olds aren't toddlers but yes it's a very tough age. In some respects harder than two because they're even more opinionated and as their language skills have improved they have an answer for everything but still very little reason and common sense.

The bike thing is too dangerous to let go so I'd do as Sirzy says. There needs to be an immediate and consistent consequence there.

Your DS eating vegetables at nursery but not at home is perfectly normal. Peer pressure really helps. It's not a reflection of your parenting. Continue to offer them, in different shapes and sometimes roasting vegetables helps as it makes them sweeter but don't put a lot of pressure on him to eat them. Asking him to try a bite is ok but if he doesn't, don't push Making a fuss about it will only have the opposite effect.

Good luck. It's a tough age.