Sweetness

[Newwifeatnumber10]

How would you feel being repeatedly called sweetness by a male colleague?

I’m sick of it! Really sick of it. He’s been warned by the boss but still does it .

He’s 7 years older than me and has the grace and manners of a dinosaur, clearly he thinks it’s acceptable. He’s not a young man.

It’s a small company with no HR (I’m the nearest to that role). It’s seriously getting on my wick!

Reply back to him that you'd like to smash every tooth in his face and by rights he should be bludgeoned in his bed. If he kicks off just tell him you were only joking.

I'd put in a grievance or quit and state that their inability to appropriately manage and discipline an employee was the reason. Then I'd look into what bodies I could complain to about it. Being demeaned in front of others affects their perception of you and could be harming your career, as well as being deliberately humiliating at work.

My job is otherwise really interesting, I’m paid well, WFH two days a week, and I enjoy it. This man isn’t going to force me to leave and there’s nowhere for a grievance to go.
The boss is aware of it.

The man is actually creeping me out, I am starting to think he makes excuses to see me and although I’ve given zero reason I am think he thinks it’s reciprocated.

Yuk.
I would go to the boss again and explain its getting close to showdown time.

Tell your boss if it happens again you wish to lodge a formal complaint and have contacted ACAS for advice. It's sexual harassment.

Thank you, I know it’s sexual harassment but there isn’t anyone to lodge a complaint with, there’s one boss and he’s had a word with the dinosaur.

@suspiria777 he sounds like a right old bigmouth, doesn’t he?

I call our cat sweetness, and poppet, but I can’t imagine saying it at work. I would 100% speak to your manager again.

It’s sweetness or darling most of the time.
Entirely inappropriate in a professional setting. Quite often there’s only me and him in one room/work space. I’m starting to find it a bit intimidating, I don’t want to be alone with him .

Call him on it. Every. Single. Time. With a proper stick up your butt, formal rebuke. "Bob, I've already made it very clear I do not want to be referred to as sweetness/darling/whatever. The boss has told you not to do it. It is sexual harassment. Please call me [First Name] or Ms/Mrs [Last Name]." Make a note of the date and time and context and make another meeting with the boss. Confirm discussion in writing. Make it more of a pain in the boss's arse than it is in yours. Boring and laborious but it's the only way.

Have you actially ever said to him "please do not call me sweetness again, I really do not like it"?

@suspiria777 people like him have got no right to take their place in the human race.

Have you told him abruptly and directly? Or better yet in front of other colleagues? Sounds like he needs a bit of a telling off and humiliation

I would come up with an offensive nickname for him and only call him that from now on. “Morning sweetness” “morning dickhead”

Bullies like that only respond to push back

@Movingsoon21

I would come up with an offensive nickname for him and only call him that from now on. “Morning sweetness” “morning dickhead”

Bullies like that only respond to push back

Love this!

I'd tell him bluntly, "My name is New wife, not Sweetness or Darling, etc. Please call me by name." Preferably in front of a witness.

@suspiria777

Reply back to him that you'd like to smash every tooth in his face and by rights he should be bludgeoned in his bed. If he kicks off just tell him you were only joking.

😂😂😂

I reckon you've got two possible options,
1:"not this again dodgy Dave I've told you before call me new wife"
2: " darling, sugar plum fairy I'm doing great today you?"

Either pull him up every time or out do him with the sweetness nonsense every time.

You need to do as @Draineddraineddrained has suggested; each time he calls you something inappropriate, call him out on it very clearly, then follow it up with an email to the old lech confirming the time, date and content of the conversation, ccing in your Boss.

I'd also have a chat in person with your Boss when this next happens (and you've subsequently sent the email) and let him know that if this happens again, you expect him/her to take action to protect you from being sexually harassed at work. Let them know what would be an acceptable outcome for you; a disciplinary / a warning / him simply stopping calling you anything other than your name etc.?

When you call him out, don't say 'i don't like it' - that puts it back on you. Say 'it's inappropriate'.

Does your boss realise that it's the company thay could face an employment tribunal, not the individual colleague?