Noise from neighbours?

[espressoplease]

Hey guys,

Those of you that live in an attached house, I’m interested to know how much noise you hear from your neighbours, if at all? I’m not sure whether I am being dramatic or whether we have just been unlucky.

We moved house at the beginning of the year. Our old house was a bit of a nightmare. The walls were paper thin and the neighbours shouted a lot. They also slammed doors loudly all of the time. They regularly woke our baby up day and night. Talking to them about it didn’t change things unfortunately, so eventually we moved.

I had high hopes for our new house after having a bad experience before, but so far it’s been disappointing. I’m not sure whether it’s just me being on high alert because of our previous experience, but it’s really getting to me. When the neighbours aren’t home their dog barks constantly. They have a piano against the shared wall which sounds as if it’s in our house when played. In the summer they’re in the garden all day every day, with the children arguing and shouting until dark. I hear their kid playing video games a lot, literally shouting at the top of his voice. I hear it through the entire house, often from morning until night (when he’s not at school. I dread the holidays!). If it were just one of these things I wouldn’t mind so much. It’s just the frequency of all of these things combined.

I feel silly complaining about this. Obviously I am grateful to have a roof over my head and I appreciate that people have it MUCH worse. It’s just making me so anxious, to the point that I am having to take anti-anxiety pills. I work from home (unable to work in the office - it’s a remote role) and I find the noise very distracting, especially when I am on a call. It’s also embarrassing when I have relatives or friends round and you can hear the kid next door shouting at his game or the dog barking constantly. I avoid having people here. I don’t feel like I can relax in my own home. I find myself on edge, waiting for the noise. I just want to be able to put my baby to bed without the worry of her being woken up, and to work in peace, and to relax in my own home without hearing what next door are up to. I also would like to have another baby one day but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it here. Having a baby woken up regularly by neighbours was really not a nice situation to be in. I don’t think I could do it again.

I could talk to them about it, they seem nice enough, but I’m not even sure to start. I’m also so anxious at the moment that the thought of having the conversation with them makes me so nervous. It didn’t go down well with our previous neighbours. I could ask my husband to talk to them, but I know he wouldn’t be keen to do so and I feel bad putting that on him when it’s me with the problem.

We haven’t been here for long but I already want to leave. I feel so guilty for feeling this way as it was me that wanted to move in the first place. If we move, I’d want to buy detached, but sadly we can’t afford detached in this area so it would mean moving to a less-nice area, which perhaps isn’t the best move for my child. My husband likes it here. He seems to be able to block out the noise. He is out at work full time though, so hears a lot less than I do. The house needs a lot of work, most of which my husband has done/will do himself. I feel bad for him doing all of that work only to move again. I hate that I want to move my family again already, but I am pretty miserable here. I keep trying to focus on the positives, such as the nice area and good schools, but it all just feels outweighed.

I really don’t know what to do. Is this just normal life? Am I being dramatic and unreasonable? Have we just been unlucky… twice?! I’ve lived in attached houses my whole life before this and never noticed anything like this before.

Thanks so much in advance x

I should add that they can probably hear us too I know, but I do my best to make sure we are considerate and not disturbing them.

I had this same situation, we sold up after 8 months and moved to a detached.

Loads of wasted money in solicitors fees but worth as I too developed anxiety.

Hope things get better for you xx

Is sound proofing an option? I don't know how expensive it is but possibly cheaper than moving again?

It’s very difficult if it’s normal living noise. I know what you mean though, as I find any internal noise from another property very stressful. Eventually we moved to a detached property. I still find neighbours irritating, but at least I don’t have to hear their tv.

I probably wouldn’t complain about day to day noise unless it was excessive. I don’t know if some form of sound proofing is a possibility? We looked at it before we moved and there are things that can be done to reduce noise, although it can be pricey.

I moved from a detached to a semi - sold up after 11 months and now live in another detached. Move. Life is too short.

Could have written your post OP.

We moved from a victorian mid terrace where noise from one side was horrendous.

Moved to a semi and although we never hear noise from the family or TV etc., they leave their puppy (10 hours today, poor little thing), and we've had 10 hours of constant barking. It really gets you down. This has happened on numerous occasions now.

Hard not to judge people who would do that to a dog. Why bother getting one in the first place!!

Move if you're able to. Not all semis are as bad though; ours is a semi and the most we hear is next door's dog barking every now and again.

It sounds like normal noise. I’m working from home with 3dc in the house and they’re in the living room next to my study watching tv and playing etc. I can’t imagine your neighbours are louder than my dc in the next room. Can you try noise cancelling headphones?

We are looking into putting cork board on the shared walls in our house. Should be a £200 for 3 rooms, then lining paper on top. Solidarity. Our neighbours are horrors.

We lived in 3 different terraced houses and I think they vary. The first seemed to have paper thin walls as you describe. We were there 10 yrs and some periods were worse ( having a newborn, husband working nights) but we coped. In the other terraced houses thd walls seem to be better and sounds are not carried through, although on I often feel worried about our noise when we argue, dog barks or kids are being loud. I think we would all be more relaxed in detached houses! But it becomes normal as long as it isn't at an unreasonable hour or unreasonably loud.

I have no advice but feel your pain.

I have awful stomach churning anxiety due to noise from our neighbours and they're probably not that bad. They don't have parties, play loud music or anything terrible. They're just so loud, sometimes they talk so loudly at 2am in the bedroom next door it feels like they're stood at the bottom of the bed. They're decorating and were scraping wallpaper off at 11pm the other night. They're from a different country and seem to call friends/game with friends through the night due to time zones.
I've been round 3 times in 2wks but nothing improves and I now find I can't tolerate even the tiniest amount of normal household noise.

I could have written your post.

We moved from one house, where we heard the neighbours tv constantly, and ended up living in a house where we could even hear them getting the cutlery out of the drawer for dinner! I Couldn’t go to sleep until they turned their TV off at nearly midnight and I was up at 5:30am for work.

Like you I couldn’t relax, was constantly on edge waiting for the next sound and was anxious. It made me ill. I would practically tiptoe around our house and watch the tv on low with subtitles on in the hope that if I didn’t make a sound they would be more considerate. We even tried to soundproof by putting up thick, polystyrene backed, insulation plasterboard but it had no effect. Noise travels through joists not just walls.

We lived there over a decade and it seriously damaged my MH & caused me physical problems. I was on the verge of a total breakdown.

We did sell and totally overstretched ourselves to buy a wreck of a detached house. The mortgage worries me as we now have another 17 years, it would have been paid off in another 6 if we’d stayed. DH has had to give up work for health reasons so the extra years are a concern. The kitchen is falling to bits, the driveway has potholes and we can’t afford to do a thing but the silence is amazing. I’m sorry you are suffering, it’s such a horrible situation to be in

When we were in a victorian terrace we could hear footsteps on the neighbours stairs and occasional muffled loud play by their kids. It was fine.

Anyone putting a piano against a shared wall needs a good talking to, that is completely unreasonable and anti social.

Get some soundproofing. You can get some temporary tiling soundproofing from
Amazon . A friend of mine uses it so her autistic son doesn’t disturb the neighbours next door
It’s a big like this

24 pcs Premium Pro-coustix Ultraflex Wedge Acoustic Foam Sound Proofing Panels Uncompressed Made In UK amazon.co.uk/dp/B01I9YFKHG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_10MJYC0JYFR957759TKB]]

Our victorian terrace was noisy. Lots of noise on both sides, the gardens were so narrow so if someone else was in their garden you could hear it all.
One side took their carpet out and we could hear them walking around, up the stairs, closing doors. I could make out whole conversations if I listened closely.
It wasn't unbearable but sure was annoying.

Now we live in a mid century house, not a thing of beauty, but we don't hear much from next door. Sometimes their dog is barking in the garden and they have an occasional birthday party in the garden.. but that's all v normal and to be expected. It's sort of a nice level of noise, I like thinking other people are close around but with out their noise invading my space.

I don't think there is a lot you can you - although if you ask they might be willing to move the piano to another wall.

Save up for a detached - most neighbours make noise, even through solid stone walls I can hear, but generally it's muffled, so no prob really.

Detached-life means you don't hear your near neighbours through the walls, but it never guarantees that you don't hear any loud sounds from elsewhere either.

The first point I’d say is that if you can bear to build a relationship with your neighbours then noise becomes less threatening. We knew the neighbours v well in our first (terraced) house, and would have a giggle when one side sang folk songs and the other bollocked her kids for the millionth time that morning. We liked them and it wasn’t anything other than the noise from people we thought a great deal of.

Our second semi detached house had quite odd neighbours who were hard to like. Any noise from them or dealings were far more negative as a result. They also found our everyday noise intrusive because they felt threatened by it because they didn’t like us.

If you can go detached do it, although it doesn’t stop you from hearing street noise or if it’s an antisocial neighbourhood you’d still feel threatened. We’re now in splendid isolation and I bloody love it.

I'm so glad to read I'm not the only one!

Moved into a semi detached house a few years ago. First neighbours were very loud and the noise was constant, loud talking, arguing, dogs barking, etc. Drove me insane. Thankfully they moved out and then the house stood empty for a few months. New neighbours are not too bad, the thing that gets on my nerves is that they are very loud cooing, ahhh'ing and playing with the baby. I swear they are louder as the baby. It's really starting to grate on me. I also suffer with anxiety and it's starting to get worse again lately. Once I'm able to I will definitely be moving into a detached house 🙈

I live in a semi and thank my lucky stars for my neighbour and pray he never moves. I wouldn't even know he was there and I try my hardest to be the same. Prior to this I lived in a flat and the man next door used to get home and blast music at full volume at 2am, I never knew when it would happen and hated it.

I think you could definitely ask for the piano to be moved but everything else sounds like normal household noise. As PPs have suggested, insulation or moving seem your only options unfortunately. Good luck

We lasted 2 years in ours and put everything we had into going detached. Best thing we ever did, we've had almost 4 years of actual bliss, it's been incredible for my mental health.

I sympathise. We are in a Victorian mid terrace 2 up 2 down (so house is only one room wide) and get loads of noise from both sides. DP often has to sleep with earplugs. We have a good relationship with one side but it’s still awkward asking them to be a bit quieter having sex. As soon as DP finishes his training and gets a job we are moving to a semi or detached house!

I think your neighbours are actually unreasonable to have a piano at all. They should get a digital one. I want a piano too but I’m not inflicting it on my neighbours. And the kid shouting during video games is also unreasonable and the parents should tell him to keep it down. I think you can also report the dog as a nuisance? Talk to the neighbours about it first obviously.

Thank you so much everyone for the replies. Lots of helpful advice and nice to know I’m not alone (but am sorry others are suffering too!) x