To ask about your good sleepers

[soughsigh]

Did anyone have a good sleeper that did contact naps?

My 5wo sleeps well in her next to me overnight but with not go down during the day and mostly naps in the sling.

Everyone tells me to put her down in the cot (HV, DH, MIL, friends, etc) but she just wakes immediately.

Will I create a bad sleeper by giving her sling naps?

A) she’s five weeks old
B) I don’t think you can really “create” a bad sleeper at that age. What even is a bad sleeper?
C) she’s five weeks old.

Just get on with your day with her in a sling, or if you don’t want to get on then lie down with her, watch TV, whatever suits hou- and enjoy!

My son (admittedly he's 7 now) always woke up the moment we put him down and did for probably the first 5-6 months so we spent ages re-settling him whilst in the cot / holding him etc

In hind sight it didn't last long before he stopped waking when we put him down

Just do what works best for you and what makes your life easier

Everyone keeps saying I have to get her used to sleeping in the cot otherwise I will create a bad sleeper that will only sleep in your arms!

My son did contact naps till he was 4 months and then started to let me put him down, but he's 3 and still doesn't sleep through the night.

I am currently in the 'why do I want to make my life difficult by waking the sleeping newborn' camp but everyone just keeps saying to put her down and it's really getting to me.

Have you tried swaddling ?
Perhaps might help with feeling ‘held’ and secure ?
I don’t think at 5weeks you should worry, if you haven’t already read about it, Google the 4th Trimester
As babies get older it’s helpful they learn how to get to sleep by themselves, but 5 weeks is tiny !

My DD is 3.5, she was a terrible napper until she was 1. Up until 1 she mostly either contact napped or napped in the pram or baby carrier and would wake as soon as the motion stopped or you put her down, it was a pain. However she was mostly a decent sleeper overnight right from birth really (in am age-appropriate way, I mean). I attribute a lot of that to the dummy. We managed to get her down awake in her cotbed for bedtime and for proper naps when she turned 1, using a gradual retreat type method. Like we used to put her down asleep and we started putting her down slightly awake and then more and more awake until she we would just put her down fully awake and leave. At 5 weeks I wouldn't worry about this at all.tgough.

Five weeks is very early. From about 12 out the baby down after they've been awake a while and are warm, cosy and fed and hopefully they will drift off. This worked for my baby and we never went through the four month sleep regression because she didn't rely on being fed or rocked to sleep. She's been a great sleeper.

@CoffeeNeeded2019 yeah, I've tried swaddling and warming the bed (that's what we do at night) and it didn't help. For some reason I can almost throw her into bed at night and she won't wake (last night she wasn't fully asleep after her bottle so I put her down drowsy but awake and she drifted off) but during the day she fights sleep.

@MeadowHay that's what I was hoping to hear! My son was both a terrible napper and a terrible sleeper overnight so I'm worried about another one of them.

My DS would not sleep in his cot in the day until 5 months. I don’t think anything you do now will make a difference to future sleeping, honestly.
It’s far too early - newborn sleep cycles are completely different, they start to change to more regular sleep cycles about 4-6 months, which is when good sleep routines become more important.

My dd contact napped until I went back to work (and then still did at weekends until she dropped her naps)
She slept brilliantly at night from about 8 weeks, except for periods of teething etc.

As your baby gets older you’ll notice a time they are most likely to nap. For example, one of mine was always about 10am. I used to feed her then put her in the Moses basket awake at that time but I’m the living room with me. She learned to fall asleep without being held during the day and then it moved on to night time when she dropped her night feeds. It’s a gradual process but at 5wks they still need a lot of contact so do it as you are both ready. Naps are important for you both in those early weeks however they happen.

I let my newborn sleep in the sling loads, used to aim for Moses basket nap but it didn’t always work.

We did gradual retreat at six months and she’s slept through (bar teething / illness) ever since.

My first would only nap on me, but slept brilliantly at night (12 hours from 5 weeks!).
About 6-8 months she started sleeping better and better in her cot and from 10 months onwards she regularly had 3 hours in the afternoon and 12 at night. She did this until she was about 3yo.

What I did do was normally try and put her in the cot a couple of times, and then hold her for a bit if she hadn't slept then.

I think it maybe does make a bit of a difference. My first was a contact/movement napper and didn't sleep well at night either. Because they were still a toddler when dc2 was born and still needed a lot of attention, dc2 spent more time in her Moses basket and self settled from the start. Which meant she slept well at night.

However that might be partly down to their personality aswell, as dc2 is much more easy going now they are older.

Also I missed out on the cuddly baby naps and she absolutely refused to nap if we were out and about with the pram etc.

DD only ever napped on me, not once in the cot in her life. She’s now 2.5 and naps in the pram (we have to rock it a little until she’s asleep, then we can leave it).
However, her overnight sleep has varied massively, like most children. From about a week old to about 12 weeks old she slept in the cot, 7/8 hours straight a night. Then started waking up once for a few months, then twice. We’ve had periods of awful sleep, periods of great sleep, but her total refusal to have anything to do with the cot (and now bed) during the day has never really translated into nighttime. In fact I avoided pushing too much to get her to nap in the cot during the day because I didn’t want her to start hating it more and therefore be worse at night. No idea if that was a valid concern but I decided it was at the time.

My DS in only 6mo but has started going in his cot awake and going to sleep, i haven't pushed the matter. If he seemed sleepy and relaxed I'd put him down, usually to go get something and if he goes to sleep, great. If he cries for me I get him. I think you teach independence by giving them the opportunity but always being there if they need you. So that's what I'll do.

My mum has been very vocal about leaving him even if he's crying, I've been very vocal about the fact he's my child and I'm a good mum. Tell people who tell you how to parent "I'm fine thanks"

These 6mo have flown by and because he's so big I feel like I've lost that little baby stage already, I'm perfectly happy with all the cuddles he needs while I can.

DD was like this - a good sleeper at night from early on but would only contact nap by day. At about six months we decided it was time to get on top of it and started putting her down in the day. When she woke we picked her back up, shushed her back to sleep, then put her back down again. It went well the first week, then we had four weeks of hell where she started being bad at night too (might have been a coincidental sleep regression), and she's been fine since then.

Mine would never go down for naps. I tried and tried for weeks to get him in his crib because everyone said I should. Sat in a silent dark room for ages settling and resettling him, stressed and worried. My PND got worse.

Eventually I gave up and started letting him nap on me. I would settle in a comfy armchair with snacks and drinks, put the tv on and he’d snooze happily in my arms, or we’d go out for a walk and he’d sleep in the sling. Made my life a million times better.

Honestly just do what makes your life easiest. Some babies nap easily, some don’t like to be put down. Within a couple of years they will stop napping anyway so it doesn’t matter in the long run. Look after yourself.

@soughsigh

Everyone keeps saying I have to get her used to sleeping in the cot otherwise I will create a bad sleeper that will only sleep in your arms!

My son did contact naps till he was 4 months and then started to let me put him down, but he's 3 and still doesn't sleep through the night.

I am currently in the 'why do I want to make my life difficult by waking the sleeping newborn' camp but everyone just keeps saying to put her down and it's really getting to me.

This is rubbish. I needed DC2 to sleep in the sling because I was looking after DC1 and wanted to be out and about all day rather than trapped in near a cot. He slept in the sling for every nap for the first 6 months of his life. Then DC1 started nursery and I started putting him down in his cot no problem.

DC1 also contact napped and never tolerated the cot so we ended up pushing her in the pram for naps. I have treated them both exactly the same - it’s just how they are. I don’t think you can create good or bad sleepers - they are their own little people. Plus what works for them changes.

At 5 weeks you are still in the 4th trimester so just keep your baby as close to you as possible at all times - you’ll both be happiest this way.

@Darkstar4855 this is what I was up to this morning! Sitting with her in a swaddle in a dark room with the white noise. I thought I had her but then the eyes popped open. She is now in the sling.

@Jujujuly my son is a rubbish sleeper, I killed myself trying to follow the advice. Now I'm thinking they are what they are 🤷‍♀️. It's just frustrating having everyone tell me to put her down. My husband is quite vocal about it, he says that I am creating another bad sleeper.

DD is 10 weeks can self settle in her Moses basket at night, wakes once for a feed and back down til morning. However she will not nap in the day! I'll try to put her down a couple of times and she lasts about 20 mins. Try to make sure she gets one good nap a day whether that's on me, in the car or in the pram.

It stresses me out a little bit as DS would just fall asleep anywhere - bouncer/playmat/wherever - and would be out for the count! She does get tired and grumpy so clearly needs to nap better but hoping it will come in time.

My 2 were never big nappers, both contact napped once or twice a day or in buggy but never more than 20-30 mins usually. They both slept 13-14 solid hours per night by 6 weeks (eldest) and 7 weeks (youngest). I would focus on night sleeping and not worry about naps. I also found if they cried near bedtime it meant they wanted put down as neither like being cuddled to sleep at night only in the day.

My DS was the same.
Slept all through the night in his crib from a few weeks old, but didn’t want anything to do with his crib during the day! First 5 months he napped on me, in a sling, or in a pram. Sling was an absolute life saver.
At 5 months I left him in his crib for a nap, he cried for about 5 mins and then fell asleep. And we’ve never looked back! So it didn’t stop him from becoming an independent napper, he just had to be ready.
But definitely get a sling for the early months.

I put mine down in a moses basket during the day wherever I was and wasn't quiet, I hoovered, watched tv, played with the cat and he was just zonked.
He didn't like quiet rooms or being on his own in the cot.
The cat purring next to him seemed to send him off.