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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

…To buy a ‘funeral coat’?

106 replies

Goatinthegarden · 26/10/2021 18:58

Maybe this is a bit of a bizarre question, but I have a funeral to attend shortly. Previous funerals I have been to have either been in warmer months, or we have been requested not to wear black.

I’m attending a funeral next week and think I should wear all black. I have appropriate shoes and dress bought for a previous funeral, but I don’t own a black coat. All of the very smart black coats I am finding online are about £200-300, (which is a bit more than I would usually pay for a coat), but I’m wondering if it would be sensible to buy a very smart, very timeless coat to keep in the wardrobe for the next twenty odd years just for funerals. Or have I just taken total leave of my senses?

There doesn’t seem to be as much choice as I would have expected either, do people not bother with traditional funeral attire anymore?

YANBU every adult should keep formal funeral attire in their wardrobes.

YABU what a weird, morbid thing to do, just wear something else or buy something cheaper, no one will mind.

OP posts:
LindaLooky · 26/10/2021 19:45

@upinaballoon

I have a black poncho-cum-wrap, which is useful for funerals on cold days, without having to buy a proper coat, which could date.
Black poncho cum wrap? Is this the new penis beaker? Grin
Christmas1988 · 26/10/2021 19:46

I thought everyone had funeral attire, I have a lovely funeral dress, it wasn’t meant to be just for funerals but I don’t fancy wearing it at any other time now.

Original poster
Goatinthegarden · 26/10/2021 19:47

@Comedycook

I really can't believe you cannot find a smart black coat for less than £200, unless you have very expensive tastes and just default to very high end shops.
Well, I browsed online briefly and a lot of the high street companies didn’t seem to have what I would consider funeral coats. It was only more expensive brands on John Lewis’s website like Hobbs, Ted Baker, Monsoon, that seemed to fit the image I have in my head.

Thats why I decided to ask if that is really what I should wear or not.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 26/10/2021 19:49

Don’t have any funeral clothes at all. I’m incredibly lucky, in my late-50s I have only ever been to one funeral and people were wearing an assortment of dark shades, certainly not all black.

Chattercino · 26/10/2021 19:50

Yes I think a decent wool coat in a timeless classic shape would serve you well. I'd like one myself. The charity shops are a good place to find these if time is on your side

WaitinginVain · 26/10/2021 19:50

I do think it's worth the investment. I have what I call a funeral coat that I've had for a good few years but also a few lighter weight black coats for if that's what the weather calls for. Unless it's been indicated otherwise I do wear black to a funeral but don't think most people tend to bother so much these days and it's not seen as that important.

PanicBuyingSprouts · 26/10/2021 19:53

I have my funeral dress hanging in the wardrobe, complete with jewellery. If I could afford a lovely wool cost to go with it I would.

Just get the cost of you can afford it.

BuggersMuddle · 26/10/2021 19:54

I wouldn’t buy something specifically as ‘funeral attire’ unless (maybe) I was a direct relative and thought doing so would make me feel more comfortable.

That said, a classic dark coat is a staple & I wear mine loads for nights out, work etc. If you think a wool coat is something you wouldn’t wear would a classic raincoat work better?

ErrolTheDragon · 26/10/2021 19:54

I bet if you posted a link to one of the expensive coats you like, someone could come up with a reasonable alternative. (If not on this thread then on S&B)

EvilRingahBitch · 26/10/2021 19:56

Seems like a reasonable purchase though I personally would have a quick scoot round the posher charity shops first just in case.

Wool coats are difficult to get a bargain on outside of the actual January sales unless you go second hand.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2021 19:58

Primark sold formal black coats 2 years ago for about £26.

It does the job when I have to formal dress.

MadKittenWoman · 26/10/2021 19:59

I'm surprised that everyone doesn't have a black coat; I have several! You really don't have to spend much- I got a black velvet and a faux fur one from charity shops, and the rest, including a very smart Desigual one, in sales.

freshcarnation · 26/10/2021 20:02

I've got one.it came from Asda years ago. Looks like wool and was less than £40

Curlygirl06 · 26/10/2021 20:07

I got a nice black coat and a navy one from Asda, they were very reasonable.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/10/2021 20:10

We’ve been to a few funerals lately and TBH many people don’t wear black any more. Just nothing bright or garish.

LakieLady · 26/10/2021 20:17

I wear a navy coat to funerals.

It's a beautiful wool & cashmere mix and was £50 in TKMaxx!

ILoveToads · 26/10/2021 20:18

I bought a Ted Baker coat very similar to the one I've linked below a couple of years ago.

I wanted something which would last a few years and not go out of style. Mine had dark silver instead of gold edgings.

https://www.tedbaker.com/uk/Womens/Clothing/Jackets-and-Coats/ROSE-Wool-wrap-coat-Black/p/249305-BLACK

I wear it all the time in winter so I've managed to convince myself it was worth it!

karalime · 26/10/2021 20:18

I'm a goth and even I wouldn't buy a black coat specifically for funerals.

Pretty sure I wore a grey coat to my own mother's funeral. I would buy a nice smart coat in whatever colour suits you.

Mrsmessyhairdontcare · 26/10/2021 20:24

I have one! It only comes out for funerals have had It about 10 years, got it from tesco and was about £40. It is a smart black wool coat.

Elieza · 26/10/2021 20:26

You don’t need to spend £300 on a coat. Buy a cheaper buy nicely cut one that’s not fast fashion and will do for years.

Original poster
Goatinthegarden · 26/10/2021 20:26

@MadKittenWoman

I'm surprised that everyone doesn't have a black coat; I have several! You really don't have to spend much- I got a black velvet and a faux fur one from charity shops, and the rest, including a very smart Desigual one, in sales.
I’ve got nothing against black coats, I just never seem to buy them!

I live in Scotland and am very outdoorsy, so I tend to buy practical, performance jackets for different weathers, which I do spend quite a bit on (and I keep for years and wear them hard).

Then I usually buy cheaper ‘fashionable’ coats for wearing around and about town, to work, etc. They tend to only last a year or two so before they’re completely worn out and need replacing. I’m trying to stop my use of ‘fast fashion’ and constantly buying and replacing clothes each season, so browsing the charity shops could be a good idea!

OP posts:
HTH1 · 26/10/2021 20:26

I think it would be useful (not just for funerals) but you could get one far, far cheaper than £200-300.

Original poster
Goatinthegarden · 26/10/2021 20:28

@ILoveToads

I bought a Ted Baker coat very similar to the one I've linked below a couple of years ago.

I wanted something which would last a few years and not go out of style. Mine had dark silver instead of gold edgings.

[[https://www.tedbaker.com/uk/Womens/Clothing/Jackets-and-Coats/ROSE-Wool-wrap-coat-Black/p/249305-BLACK]]

I wear it all the time in winter so I've managed to convince myself it was worth it!

This exactly what I have in mind!
OP posts:
MrsClatterbuck · 26/10/2021 20:30

M&S have a black grey and white check coat atm which would be perfectly fine for a funeral. I got a similar one in their winter sale for £9.83 reduced from £99 I would certainly wear mine to a funeral. I've been to a good number of funerals and very rarely see anyone in head to toe black. A lot of people just wear dark or muted colours.

megletthesecond · 26/10/2021 20:31

Yanbu.
I have a black funeral coat and bag from primark. It'll last me until my own funeral.