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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

think this is abuse, but not sure what to do?

4 replies

HayzCo · 26/10/2021 18:20

For as long as I can remember my DM has been a horrible drunk. She rarely drinks (unlike my DF who drinks every day) but when she does it nearly always ends the same way. A hugely vicious diatribe at someone (usually with a load of ammo that she’s been building up for weeks about something or other) and then always at my dad. They’re deeply unhappy together but co-dependent.

I no longer live at home but my siblings endure this over and over. I have a reasonably good relationship with my DM, I set boundaries years ago after not talking for a while after a particularly nasty experience of the above. Now she generally knows she wouldn’t get away with doing it to me again, I would just walk away again.

This past weekend it happened again at the expense of my younger sibling, this time she got physical with them too, pushing them out the way. As usual she’s ashamed and quiet, very sorry and hoping everyone just gets back to normal after a tearful sorry from her. She hasn’t mentioned it to me but my sibling has shared the horrible details. They are too young to move out. My dad follows her pattern and pretends quite quickly nothing happened.

If you were in my position how would you react to this?

OP posts:
ElleStartingOver · 26/10/2021 18:23

How old are your siblings?

It is abuse.

MrsKeats · 26/10/2021 18:25

Could your sibling move in with you?

Bagelsandbrie · 26/10/2021 18:27

Report to social services and the nspcc. Let your sibling come and stay with you.

MichelleScarn · 26/10/2021 18:29

Absolutely awful, how old is your sibling? They need to know that this is not OK, and that's everyone, your sibling and your parents. It sounds like things are escalating, from verbal abuse to 'just a push' (not that that's how you've described it!) to what next?

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