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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why communal parks are so biased towards boys

398 replies

arethereanyleftatall · 26/10/2021 08:49

Looking around our parks, it occurred to me all the normal type equipment paid for by the council is geared towards a certain type of play.
You tend to see a slide/swing type area (great for everyone) plus football goals, skate parks, and basketball hoops.
Of course either sex could play on the last 3, and do, but in general, these 3 types of equipment are occupied by boys.
Or, let's take sex out of it - these 3 types of equipment are played with by energetic/sporty/rough and tumble type children.
Where's the community stuff for the children who prefer more gentle/imaginative role play/dance games.
Where's the netball courts, the fairy houses?
I'm actually not even sure what you would build to make it more even, but at our local park yesterday.... 8 approximately 10 year old boys playing football; about 10 teenage boys on the skate park;basketball hoop unused; swing area equal girls/boys.

OP posts:

Clymene · 26/10/2021 17:06

Just copying and pasting the whole of that paragraph from the Austrian study:

"82 percent of girls (and 47 percent of boys) who did make relevant attempts were turned away. In the case of girls acts of rejection were often accompanied by sexual insults, as well as threatened or actual sexual aggression"

Sexual insults, threatened or actual sexual aggression.

No, its obviously entirely the girls or their parents who are at fault. They're probably all wearing short skirts or something

worriedatthemoment · 26/10/2021 17:07

@Clymene so are many girls , whats your point ?
My friends girls do gymnastics and dance, my boys do rugby and football
Both sexes are welcome at each
There is infact more girls at the football and rugby than boys at the gymnastics and dance
There is plenty of all girls teams at football , and girls leagues which boys can't play in
The other league which used to be only boys , girls can play in the team and the leagues , so have two options
Many boys don't join a team as they may not be of the level of that team as well , thats how competitive sports work
My ds team was a high level but they had a girl in the team who was there because she was as good aa the boys

worriedatthemoment · 26/10/2021 17:09

@Clymene stop trying to act though as nothing happens to boys either often the kids taking over the parks after little ones have gone hime( and its mixed around here ) only let certain kids in regardless of gender
Most anti social behaviour happens in the park

Clymene · 26/10/2021 17:11

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Clymene stop trying to act though as nothing happens to boys either often the kids taking over the parks after little ones have gone hime( and its mixed around here ) only let certain kids in regardless of gender
Most anti social behaviour happens in the park [/quote]
I've posted some research. Perhaps you could read it?

bendmeoverbackwards · 26/10/2021 17:13

@ZeroFuchsGiven completely agree

ballroompink · 26/10/2021 17:20

After reading this thread earlier I took the DCs (both boys) to a new play area that has just opened at a nearby country park. The sort of play area that has loads of climbing stuff, nets, swings, zip wires, water features, huge slides etc. It was busy and so great to see both boys and girls from toddlers up to probably 11 or 12 playing on everything and having loads of fun. Granted it's a bit different to your little park on a housing estate (we also have those nearby too) and those facilities do cost a lot to build and maintain but it was good to see so many children getting stuck in. Not a 'fairy house' in sight and everyone was very happy. My eldest saw two of his classmates (girls) while there and they had a lot of fun playing together.

In our little local parks I see plenty of older boys AND girls hanging around chatting or on bikes/the skate park bits. I agree that teenage girls do get pushed out of spaces and feel less confident about situations and that this is a bad thing but I definitely don't see any divide with primary aged kids and parks locally.

CatJumperTwat · 26/10/2021 17:23

What rubbish. At my DD’s school sport is strong, there are plenty of girls playing netball, basketball, hockey, even rugby and football. Some of my DD’s friends enjoy playing netball outside of school.

It's not rubbish, despite what you think about your darling daughter's school.

Girls, as a class, do not like team sports or contact sports.

sillysmiles · 26/10/2021 17:26

If I remember correctly, it isn't just about the equipment, but about the layout and access points were a big issue. Teenager girls wouldn't walk through gateways etc to access courts because they were pinch points for leering and harassment.
I can't remember where I read that (before anyone asks for the reference) but it's possibly from Invisible Women.

CatJumperTwat · 26/10/2021 17:29

Girls, as a class, do not like team sports or contact sports.

Actually, it'd be more accurate to say girls have been put off team and contact sports by the time they're teenagers, rather than not liking them. There's a lot that can be done to fix that but, in the mean time, let's give girls spaces in parks that they do want to use.

DelphiniumBlue · 26/10/2021 17:35

I suspect that whatever facilities there are, are monopolised by boys.

On the plus side, I'm seeing some girls being accepted as equals on the sports pitches at primary age, but I have never ever seen a group of boys waiting to use the basketball hoops while the girls finish their game/practice. It's always the girls waiting until the boys have finished.
I'm off to check out the "Make Space for Girls" website.

Feelingoktoday · 26/10/2021 17:41

So many parents take their daughters to parks, woods and play areas wearing completely impractical shoes.

Walking up Snowdon the other week, a family, dad and boys had trainers and waterproofs on, mum had plimsoles and little daughter had sandals.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 26/10/2021 18:17

So your two boys are out enjoying sports

Yes they are! WITH GIRLS ffs.

Sirzy · 26/10/2021 18:29

I also think for everyone things like better lighting, CCTV, more use by community groups so people knew there would be others around, even patrols but local wardens/pscos or similar would help encourage more people, especially young girls, feel safe to be there at all therefore more likely to want to engage in things there

Gangs hanging out in parks can be intimidating so if we can ensure they are monitored more then hopefully that threat can be reduced

Original poster

arethereanyleftatall · 26/10/2021 18:50

With hindsight, I should have recognised fairy houses would be ridiculed, as I clutched at straws at what girls might want in parks in my op. But, that floundering, is in itself a problem. I don't know what teenage girls/boys who don't play football/skateboard want in parks. Does anybody? Have they ever been asked or consulted?

I absolutely agree it would be wonderful if the girls (and quieter boys) used the equipment that is provided for all of them - the football pitch/the skate park.

But they don't. It's disingenuous to pretend they do, because of an anecdote of one girl you know that does.

It's dominated by the football boys. Like the playground at school.

Every single suggestion on this thread has been about how girls should change their behaviour/way of playing/whatever.

How about addressing the boys who intimidate/don't allow girls to play etc etc?

OP posts:

makespaceforgirls · 26/10/2021 18:51

The teasing could be misguided flirting, or it could just not be as widespread as people claim

My late afternoon. I went for a walk, and on the way back saw two teenage girls - they were Yr11 - playing cards sitting on a wall in our rather crappy shopping centre. I stopped to talk to them, because they were an excellent example of girls choosing a busy place because it feels safer to them. We had a chat; they don't go to the park because the boys are horrible and it does not feel safe. One of them used to skateboard, but got called a poser so often by the boys that she gave up, but she used to go late at night (!!!) because it felt safer than skating with the boys. Her friend used to love football in PE but also gave that up because the boys never passed to her and told her she was shit.

I then met a friend who I haven't seen for a year or so. She lives in the NW. Her two daughters love skateboarding, but now refuse to go to the local skatepark because of the things the boys say. So her husband drives them to the indoor skate park, to the girls only sessions which are friendly and supportive. And this is not the result of banter, it's the result of older teenage boys going up to a thirteen year old girl and saying 'I want to fuck you on your skateboard'.

This is genuinely how the last part of my day played out. Before you say, oh it's not like that here, oh I don't want to count who uses what in my park, go and talk to some teenage girls. Because they know what's happening and it's not banter. Or flirting. It's shit.

makespaceforgirls · 26/10/2021 18:53

@arethereanyleftatall.

Girls have been asked best in Vienna and Malmö, and there are some suggestions on our website or a pinned twitter thread. I am happy to go into details on here if you want!

makespaceforgirls · 26/10/2021 18:56

@Clymene. My favourite bit of research was in America where they fixed activity trackers to teenage girls, and measured this against some other variables.

The closer they lived to a park, the more exercise and activity they did. Unless that park was a skate park, in which case their activity levels fell.

Original poster

arethereanyleftatall · 26/10/2021 18:56

Please do. I think there are many parents on this thread who are backing a change.

OP posts:

alittleprivacy · 26/10/2021 18:56

I'm a skatepark user and in general, yes, skateparks are somewhat male dominated. When it comes to little kids on scooters you see a fairly even mix of boys and girls. As the kids get older there are less girls and more boys.

However in the last few years there is a lot more visibility of young women skateboarding and groups like Chicks in Bowls, for female dominated vert rollerskaters, have grown hugely. And the more kids that see women using this sports equipment, the more that these sports will be seen by both boys and girls as sports that are for both sexes.

Not to be arrogant about it. But I'm a pretty solid skater and I do feel that seeing me skate and work at it and fall and improve, makes a difference. It shows the girls that this is a space for people like them. And it shows the boys that women are just as capable of using the space.

Wimblingwombling · 26/10/2021 19:07

@arethereanyleftatall- I’ve found your post interesting and thought provoking. It led me to look into the issue further. I found this link very informative and it clearly sets out the need to engage with girls over what they want and highlights issues of them feeling unsafe and threatened in park environments. It’s not as simple as saying girls can just play football too- it’s more nuanced

makespaceforgirls.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Make-Space-for-Girls-Summary-of-Research-findings-December-2020-web.pdf

makespaceforgirls · 26/10/2021 19:08

@arethereanyleftatall

In fact most of what has been done well elsewhere is on here, with lots of links:

makespaceforgirls.co.uk/case-studies/

And here are the ideas we have generated from that work:

makespaceforgirls.co.uk/what-does-better-look-like/