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Original poster

Partner’s ex girlfriend on Instagram

8 replies

Yonkers456 · 25/10/2021 23:18

Hi guys, created a new account for anonymity. I wanted to gauge what people thought of this situation..or how they would feel in my situation..

Been with partner for 10 months. I’ve noticed that he is friends with an ex girlfriend (he met her in another country when he was on holiday a few years ago - things ended because of the distance). I happened to notice her because this woman likes every post he puts on Instagram, and is generally the first or one of the first people to like his posts so she stood out to me. I asked him about her recently as I also noticed she was at the top of his ‘Stories’ list along the top so he is obviously watching her stories. I’m not sure if he is liking or commenting on her posts as her account is private. He said that they have kept in touch every now and then and they last they spoke was not long after we met, and he told her about me.

Would anyone be bothered by this?

OP posts:
SantasLittleHoHoHo · 26/10/2021 08:41

Personally, no! It's an ex partner, she doesn't live close and they're not exactly doing anything wrong. IMO, there's no reason for him to pretend he didn't have a past before meeting you!

Spidey66 · 26/10/2021 08:44

No it wouldn't bother me that much. The relationship is long over and sounds like it was a holiday romance anyway.

Original poster
Yonkers456 · 26/10/2021 10:35

@SantasLittleHoHoHo

Personally, no! It's an ex partner, she doesn't live close and they're not exactly doing anything wrong. IMO, there's no reason for him to pretend he didn't have a past before meeting you!
You’re completely right, he’s been quite open about her and I wouldn’t want him to think he couldn’t speak openly to me.

I think it’s the fact that the reason they’re not together is because of the distance…after they initially met he went out again to see her. They were still together after he came home until they both realised they couldn’t make it work long term because of the distance.

It also makes me uncomfortable that every time he open his Instagram there she is. It doesn’t seem like she’s really in his past if they’re so involved in each other’s lives on social media.

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 26/10/2021 10:48

I don’t think you have anything to worry about as he has been honest and open about it but in this position it would, probably irrationally, bother me.

Iwonder08 · 26/10/2021 10:51

He is not hiding anything g and she lives in another country. I would just relax about it

SantasLittleHoHoHo · 26/10/2021 10:55

@Yonkers456

I've just popped on my Instagram - someone who I worked with (three years ago!) And have never messaged on Instagram / reacted to their story is my top story 90% of the time. Just because she likes his posts and he sees her stories it doesn't really mean they're involved in each other's social media lives. And I'm not sure what her content is, but most of my Instagram stories are my cats / food / day trips etc. Nothing scandalous!

I know it's hard not to worry - but in your shoes, you should know they broke up due to distance - however if the relationship was the be all and end all and they thought each other was "the one" then they'd have made it work despite the distance. They didn't, so I would say unless she decides to up sticks and move to your town, you're totally safe!

Original poster
Yonkers456 · 26/10/2021 14:02

[quote SantasLittleHoHoHo]@Yonkers456

I've just popped on my Instagram - someone who I worked with (three years ago!) And have never messaged on Instagram / reacted to their story is my top story 90% of the time. Just because she likes his posts and he sees her stories it doesn't really mean they're involved in each other's social media lives. And I'm not sure what her content is, but most of my Instagram stories are my cats / food / day trips etc. Nothing scandalous!

I know it's hard not to worry - but in your shoes, you should know they broke up due to distance - however if the relationship was the be all and end all and they thought each other was "the one" then they'd have made it work despite the distance. They didn't, so I would say unless she decides to up sticks and move to your town, you're totally safe! [/quote]
Thank you for this, I know in my rational head everything’s fine, we are really great together and there are no other issues. Irrationally it’s just a niggling, uncomfortable feeling at the back of my mind; yes she’s physically on the other side of the world but she’s also right here on his phone. I guess I’m thinking emotional affairs etc happen far too easily now, I've unfortunately experienced it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yonkers456 · 26/10/2021 14:06

@PurpleFlower1983

I don’t think you have anything to worry about as he has been honest and open about it but in this position it would, probably irrationally, bother me.
He is very honest and as much as we mightn’t like do hear about people’s pasts etc it is good that there is such openness with us. I am the same with him and we work well because of it.
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