Hosting hacks

[CactusLemonSpice]

Hello! Longtime lurker.

I have various friends and family coming to stay at different times over the next few months. I always exhaust myself with hosting (which I usually love) but with 2 under 2 this year I can't do it all.

Any suggestions on how to keep everyone fed for e.g. 5 days at a time, with little stress and faff for me? Any help appreciated!

Buy food you can just shove in the oven
Make some stuff in advance
Encourage your guests to help

Deliveroo!

And COOK. They used to only be in some remote places but it's quite widely available now, Budgen's often stock it.

I also think almost as soon as they walk through the door you walk them through the kitchen, declare your home their home and make sure you point out where the coffee/tea is and bread, toaster etc.

Say "make yourself at home" as many times as possible without sounding deranged.

If you’ve got a good size fridge and freezer then cook more and freeze it. So simple one pot meals which can be reheated are better than stuff with lots of parts.
Use a tea pot so you can make lots of cups more easily.
Bread maker and slow cooker are your friends I think.
Get other people, cook/deliveries.
Use frozen onions.

Oh it's a pain, I will be in the same situation next few months, a 2 yo and a baby coming in 1 week!

First round of guests coming tomorrow

Here is what I have done to minimize my duties
I have cleaned the guest bathroom and I will tell them that I will not be able to clean the bathroom during their stay, and that I have left all that is needed in the cabinet

I have installed a water kettle and a coffee machine in their room, leaving a good choice of tea, coffee and mugs

I have installed a small fridge for water and soft drinks as well

I will batch cook, use my most used recipes , we will also order pizza. I bought a bunch of frozen stuff in case i will be in the hospital

Slow cooker

Takeaway

Make eg lasagne in advance, freeze it, serve with salad, or curry with microwave rice

Ask them to bring their own bedding

@finopitta

I also think almost as soon as they walk through the door you walk them through the kitchen, declare your home their home and make sure you point out where the coffee/tea is and bread, toaster etc.

Say "make yourself at home" as many times as possible without sounding deranged.

I definitely will do this

I think my struggle is I feel rude if I don't cater to everyone's individual food preferences

Is there a partner on the scene who is also worrying about this?

@arethereanyleftatall

Is there a partner on the scene who is also worrying about this?

Yes a partner, no he is not worrying. In fairness to him, though, he usually does more washing/cleaning kitchen while I usually cook.

He thinks I should leave guests to fend for themselves, but I cannot!

If you see it as hosting you are doomed 🤣

Honestly though, relax. Don't try to do it all and lower expectations!
You are not a hotel or a butler so you don't need to serve people hands and foot, get them involved.
Surely they can make their own breakfast and cups of tea. and yours too.
They can chip in with watching kids while you cook or hoover up or help prepping dinner.

Having people over is as stressful as you let it be.

I've just spotted you said you feel rude if you don't cater to everyone's individual preferences.
In the nicest possibly way: cut that shit out!🤣

And look at it this way: are others rude if they just let you fend for yourself? do you expect them to make your every meal?
I'm gonna guess no. And they won't either from you.
So why the high expectations from yourself?
Give it a rest, please. Your partner is right, it's gonna be fine.

Freeze some chilli for jacket pots one day and tacos the next

Sandwiches for lunch

At least one meal out and a takeout.

Leave the bedding for them to put on, and ask them to strip it afterwards.

Let them look after kids while you run around after them.

Send everyone out for a walk

Then #be more bloke.
They don't worry about this shit.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

I've just spotted you said you feel rude if you don't cater to everyone's individual preferences. In the nicest possibly way: cut that shit out!🤣

And look at it this way: are others rude if they just let you fend for yourself? do you expect them to make your every meal?
I'm gonna guess no. And they won't either from you.
So why the high expectations from yourself?
Give it a rest, please. Your partner is right, it's gonna be fine.

This is a good way of looking at it. Not sure why I'm like this!

👍

It could be many things: anxiety, low self-confidence, a drive to be a high achiever, you might just like to please people or be in control....
And with small kids I guess you are worried how you are gonna pay attention to everyone.
Only you can tell why.

I think it's worth exploring the reasons so you can move on from feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Definitely start with lowering your own expectations
Let others do stuff for themselves and for you, it's okay! My kids make me cups of tea (my youngest is 7) and it's lovely to be treated!

It will feel strange and maybe even scary to let go of some control and ideas of how it should be.
But in the long run it will be worth it.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

👍

It could be many things: anxiety, low self-confidence, a drive to be a high achiever, you might just like to please people or be in control....
And with small kids I guess you are worried how you are gonna pay attention to everyone.
Only you can tell why.

I think it's worth exploring the reasons so you can move on from feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Definitely start with lowering your own expectations
Let others do stuff for themselves and for you, it's okay! My kids make me cups of tea (my youngest is 7) and it's lovely to be treated!

It will feel strange and maybe even scary to let go of some control and ideas of how it should be.
But in the long run it will be worth it.

Probably all of the above. I am an anxious person and compensate by over-planning, which probably makes things less fun! Definitely not what I want! Yeah I will try this. Thanks.

@CactusLemonSpice

I have anxiety too (and other things) so I truly understand.
Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk more. x

I would totally feel the way you do but with two small children you have to cut your standards down! I’d focus on having a clean house to start off with and a well stocked fridge. Then ask everyone to chip in with making meals, clearing up and getting drinks. I think most people would rather be part of a family than be waited on, I’m always happy to wash up away from home.

My favourite visits are when I stay at someone’s home where it’s relaxed. I bet yours are too.

I think sometimes can feel a bit funny digging around in a full fridge so if it’s do-able getting a small fridge for drinks is a life saver.

Also maybe think to yourself “right I’m going to do x dinner” but everything else more relaxed.

Another thing - if you can try and stick to your kids usual routine that'd be helpful in terms of feeling in control.
But if they skip a bath or eat a bit later than usual or fall asleep on the sofa while you are chatting that's totally fine too!
If being more flexible with their routine is the "cost" of being relaxed & enjoying yourself then you should do just that, guilt-free.

Maybe do a ‘breakfast bar’ I.e all cereals and bread, croissants, butter, jam etc in one place.
Then soups for lunches and definitely pre-made dinners stashed in the freezer or bought in.

Definitely ask them to bring their own towels and maybe bedding too or put piles of clean bedding ready and they can make themselves?