to want children to leave me alone?!

[Merryoldgoat]

I have my son’s friend here for a play date. They’re 8.

They need CONSTANT FUCKING INPUT and I’m totally over it.

Arguments need mediating
The constant requests for help with things I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
Being unable to decide on a game and play and instead wander aimlessly about my house.

When I was this age we never saw parents when we went to play - we could occupy ourselves for hours.

I’m just venting. I’ve got a terrible cough and headache and I’m recovering from a nasty virus, I’ve had an extremely stressful few months at work and I’ve been looking forward to time off - not mediating FUCKING MINECRAFT.

That sounds hideous! I'd be tempted to say briskly to your son Oh dear! If you and X can't just get on with things nicely and without bothering me, then perhaps I'd better take him home and hope that they got the message.

Do you have a chess/draughts board?
Tell them to teach themselves to play using a YouTube video.
It'll keep them busy for hours.

They had a falling out earlier and I said ‘oh dear - you don’t seem to be having much fun. Shall I call Jonny’s mum (name changed obviously) to collect him?’ and the managed to fuck off. For 10 whole minutes.

They’re reappeared and announced they’ve ‘run out’ of stuff to do.

It looked promising when they went outside but it started to fucking rain.

Maybe I’m being punished.

@girlmom21

‘Nah’

Little gits.

Could you put on a film for them? I agree, it sounds very frustrating!

Oh I tried a film. They watched 10 mins before declaring they’d had ‘enough screen time’.

I’m counting down the minutes until he goes home and I can shout again.

I think you're brave agreeing to a play date whilst feeling so rough! I would have been mean and said no 😂

@Sofiegiraffe

I stupidly thought it would keep him occupied and be less work. How utterly utterly stupid of me.

OP I tell my DD and her friend that they have to go away and play or play date over. I am not up for looking after multiple kids.

@snoopyfloops

I’m not having one again. The odd after school one is fine but these ones in the holidays are not happening again.

I don’t even like children really.

@Merryoldgoat

I have my son’s friend here for a play date. They’re 8.

They need CONSTANT FUCKING INPUT and I’m totally over it.

Arguments need mediating
The constant requests for help with things I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
Being unable to decide on a game and play and instead wander aimlessly about my house.

When I was this age we never saw parents when we went to play - we could occupy ourselves for hours.

I’m just venting. I’ve got a terrible cough and headache and I’m recovering from a nasty virus, I’ve had an extremely stressful few months at work and I’ve been looking forward to time off - not mediating FUCKING MINECRAFT.

You have to manage your mangers her OP. .

Before they start say ''Now I am going to be busy being ill have you both decided on something that you can play nicely? DO you need anything before you start? Drink, snack toilet?If you can't agree to play nicely you will not be allowed to play that game/activity again. Can you choose something by yourselves that you do not need me for?''

*managers. Not mangers!

@jamandmarmalade

I’m so doing this next time (if I’m stupid enough to allow this shit show again).

[quote Merryoldgoat]@girlmom21

‘Nah’

Little gits.[/quote]
FFS 😂

Do you have any cash? Make them play that game where they hold money against the wall with their nose and the one who holds it the longest gets to keep it. That'll learn 'em

I just tell them that they need to occupy themselves and I won’t be doing it for them. If they fall out, play dates over so they either make up or go home.

I’m not a fan of other people’s children, but I do play dates for my own kid. Managed to sit and read a book for hours the other day because I had my 8 year olds friend over. I think laying down the rules helps at the outset.

I think covid lockdown hasn’t helped here. We have had so few play dates over the last 18 months that my 8yr old is similar in that they seem to have forgotten how to have a play date. Last time she had a friend over for tea they hung around the living room with me the entire time and wanted huge amounts of input. I haven’t arranged another one since . I have 3 small children of my own I don’t have time after school to be playing with two 8 yr olds alongside cooking for them etc.

I have 8yo DD and her friend here. They've been extremely quiet (I'm WFH) but have somehow managed to eat 10 bags of crisps between them They were bought this morning and were meant to last the whole holiday!

Always set out your expectations:

We are going into the supermarket for ten things, you can help me find them and we are not getting any toys/treats/ insert trigger of choice.
Clare can come over to play, and first fight she’s going straight home again.
We are going to the shops, you can have one thing, must be under £1.99.
If the kids know what is happening, they will be calmer and more cooperative.

It was only when I went to meet a lady about a totally unrelated topic (pet ownership from me to her) and she was looking after her grandchildren having finished her full day as nursery leader round the corner from her farm. I had never met her or her grandchildren before who had come in after school full of beans but obviously we needed some time to talk.

I watched in bewildered awe as she handed responsibility and ownership very calmly but firmly over to the siblings (before we started out own adult meeting) with:

''Now, we are going to be busy over at this end of the room talking and we don't want to be interrupted for x amount of time. What are you going to be doing whilst we are busy? Have you got everything you need before we start? Does anyone need the toilet?''

The children were very busy but happy and felt very in charge in their autonomy and we had our quiet discussion up thew other end of the room. I think because the Grandma just managed their expectations in a calm way before play began they felt very happy in their play behaviour. They were given a time limit boundary that they respected that. No feeling that they had unlimited access to Grandma or that she was a resource to be milked for entertainment. Also Grandma said 'and when I have finished with this lady we are goung to have some nice dinner'. So they have a little goal to look forward to.

Around 8 years an age where kids love to feel a bit more grown up and autonomous. A bit like having their own money to spend at Christmas as opposed to buying a toy themselves.

I wish you better @Merryoldgoat

*as opposed to being given a toy.

Sorry. I need tea.........

The child has gone. I’m weighing up whether a g&t will make me feel better or worse.

Thank you for all the posts and suggestions. I’ll undoubtedly relent and have another one when the horror has left me.

At 8 they really should be able to occupy themselves without mummy’s input. Maybe ban play dates until they have matured a little bit.

No more play dates! If your ds keeps demanding your input, you need to find ways of ensuring that stops. I recall summer holidays when I was told in no uncertain terms to entertain myself, despite mum being a teacher. I wouldn’t have dared bother her!

I've had this today and it's been bloody horrible! 2 x 8 year old boys either requesting constant food, bickering, wrestling, screaming, spilling drinks on my new sofa etc. etc. I took them out for a few hours to a pumpkin play event and they just kept running in different directions so at any one time one of them was lost. I'm a teacher and also ill so this was not the day one of half term I'd hoped for 🙈. I hope you have sent the child home by now and are on the wine op!