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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not keen on partner’s colleagues

15 replies

Netflix345 · 25/10/2021 08:49

They don’t have to like me either, I’m sure they’re good people, just think we are very different and maybe not much in common.

There was one who seemed nice but has left now.
One is a girl who he seems pally with, she’s quite a bit younger than me. I’ve never really spoken to her as not been around her much, but apparently she said to him ‘aww. Isn’t she so cute and adorable?!’

There was a nightclub with some sort of hip hop/rap night on. My partner suggested it to her and said he had invited me and apparently she said ‘aww does she listen to that music!?? I can’t imagine her liking that sort of music/event!!’

Based on what I have no idea, but just find it a bit patronising and annoying.

I think most of them take drugs and it’s not my thing at all.
He’s invited me out which is really nice of him, some seem cool but they’re all very extroverted too and drinkers. I don’t know whether to grin and bear it and go or politely say it’s not for me.
Maybe I’ll end up getting on with some, but who knows.

OP posts:
CallMeRisley · 25/10/2021 08:50

Have you posted this before, I’m sure I’ve read the exact same OP about looking cute and adorable and not imagining you liking that music?

CecilieRose · 25/10/2021 08:53

You've posted this before. What exactly is the issue? You don't have to like everyone.

Member984815 · 25/10/2021 08:54

I think I've read this before too

Yogawankonobi · 25/10/2021 08:55

Her opinion of you comes from your partner.

Why would you go out with people that you don’t like/don’t know/take drugs?

SantasLittleHoHoHo · 25/10/2021 08:56

"I don’t know whether to grin and bear it and go or politely say it’s not for me."

So the colleagues were right and you wouldn't want to go / enjoy it? 🤔 so your issue is?!

You don't need to like his colleagues, they're his colleagues and not yours 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also, you're hearing all of this second hand - you don't know if she actually talks like that or if that's your husbands bad impression.

Definitely feel like I've read this before 🧐

Ughmaybenot · 25/10/2021 08:56

@CallMeRisley

Have you posted this before, I’m sure I’ve read the exact same OP about looking cute and adorable and not imagining you liking that music?
Yea, this. Nothing seems to have changed at all / you mention the exact same comments so not really seeing why you’ve posted again? Don’t go out with them if you don’t want to, it’s not hard.
VladmirsPoutine · 25/10/2021 09:29

Just don't go. And her impression of you clearly comes from the way he speaks about you. Tbh it seems weird to socialise with your partners colleagues.

mrsevangelina · 25/10/2021 09:31

I've read this before too!

SpangoDweller · 25/10/2021 09:35

No idea about what’s been posted before but I have never had any involvement with partners’ colleagues apart from occasional pleasantries and a wedding evening party a couple of times. Not sure why you’d go on a night out with them at all even if invited by your partner.

LemonKitten · 25/10/2021 10:10

I can't think of many social occasions worse than ones where I have to make small talk with DP colleagues and their partners who probably don't want to be there either! Just don't go!

Aprilx · 25/10/2021 10:13

Strangest thread this morning. 😀. My husbands colleagues are nothing to do with me, mine are nothing to do with him. We have no opinion on each other’s colleagues and never have in our nearly two decades together.

FilledSoda · 25/10/2021 10:47

I'd find the cute/ adorable thing patronising too. It could be a clumsy attempt to be nice. You say she's younger than you , is she the youngest in the workplace ?
It's quite an immature way to speak , teenagers talk like that.
I wouldn't bother with the night out . Ultimately your boyfriend's colleagues are nothing to do with you. Don't give it headspace.

Wankerchief · 25/10/2021 10:49

Eh? My partner works in a team of 30 and I’ve met 1 in 20 years😂
I don’t go to his work do’s and he’d rather be hit by lorry then go to mine

CecilieRose · 25/10/2021 11:08

@FilledSoda

I'd find the cute/ adorable thing patronising too. It could be a clumsy attempt to be nice. You say she's younger than you , is she the youngest in the workplace ? It's quite an immature way to speak , teenagers talk like that. I wouldn't bother with the night out . Ultimately your boyfriend's colleagues are nothing to do with you. Don't give it headspace.
It is patronising. I had a 20-year-old call my accent 'so adorable' while also mocking it and I just stared at her. There's an unwritten rule about how you talk to people older than you that some people from that generation don't seem to understand. I would find it very grating for someone that much younger than me to comment on my music preferences as well. It's just rude, really, isn't it?
drpet49 · 25/10/2021 11:11

* Her opinion of you comes from your partner.*

^This

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