To feel frustrated with some friends/fam with younger kids than mine

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

I know I should just ignore it and not care but my kids are 3&5 now and I didn’t have them particularly young. My first at 30. So many of my friends and family didn’t have kids when I did, didn’t ask about my pregnancy, birth, never asked after them; didn’t ask for pics, send bday cards, come to their parties etc etc. It sounds like I’m bitter but it didn’t bother me at the time.

But now, fast forward and now most of them have their own kids mostly all under 2 and my God I’m bombarded by pics of their kids firsts, a running commentary of their pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding/milestone//first foods you get the idea!

AIBU to feel a bit meh by this… I usually send a smiley emoji back but it’s tiring!!!

Have I turned into a horrible person?!’

Yes it's funny how you become very self centered when you have a baby. Or I did anyway. I went to a baby group once and all the other children were toddlers. I remember thinking the other mums must be so jealous of me with my baby.

I am normal again now. I powered through it.

@SummerHouse

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Perhaps they think it's something that you've both experienced now so can bond over?

Also the difference is you're saying they never asked for photos vs they're now sending you photos that you haven't asked for. Perhaps they assumed you'd just send photos of your DC without them requesting? Maybe they remember never getting updates from you so want to make a conscious effort to involve you in their DCs lives?

I hear you op. I had mine not young but 10 years before any of my friends, we arw 37 with a 10, 7 and 4 year old. None of our friends were interested in our dcs, we made huge efforts to go to all their childfree occasions ( no babysitters so solo), we didnt talk about our dcs much or at all, we defo were not baby bores....
And now at 37 they are all pregnant or ttc or have v small babies and we have even been lectured about parenting from plp who have been at it for 5 mins...

@SantasLittleHoHoHo

Yes that’s a nice way of thinking about it. But with family it’s not even always from the parent of the child. All my aunties send me pics of my cousins kids… sometimes I get the same pic 5 times from diff family members!!

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@SantasLittleHoHoHo

Yes that’s a nice way of thinking about it. But with family it’s not even always from the parent of the child. All my aunties send me pics of my cousins kids… sometimes I get the same pic 5 times from diff family members!![/quote]
I'd be using smiley emojis too at that stage! Or perhaps "yes when xxxx sent this I thought it was so cute!" to let them know you're on your third viewing of the DCs breakfast photo shoot 😬

Also I found having one baby a walk in the park tbh especially at the pre mobile stage. My friends with babies have actually lectured us on how they still do everything like before ; go for drinks , eat out, do yoga classes but with baby in tow so don't get the fuss other ppl make about kids....em so did I with a 3 month old..
I had bad sleepers and i was recounting it the last time we met to be told they don't with their sample of one new baby as they are very chilled so the baby sleeps well as a result, they also were lecturey about screens when they saw my 10 year old watching a movie ( after a surf lesson)
I just nod and smile. They are in a bubble and fair enough. Me and dh are getting our lives back, sleep loads now ( v v well deserved) and don't have to think about ttc again!!

My top tip is to adjust your Whatsapp setting so it doesn't automatically save photos. I feel less resentful now I'm not using storage on videos of other people's (sweet but not mine) children.

we have even been lectured about parenting from plp who have been at it for 5 mins...

Oh yes - what is that?

And when you sometimes decide to laugh at them saying "we do that" and say "I did say sometimes it's for an easy life" they have no actual memory of ever spending hours giving you unwarranted lamenting advice based on no actual experience

I was the first in my family and my friend group to have DC. Yes, it is absolutely mad how self obsessed some people are. I thought it was a time thing as mine are older teens now so social media wasn't much of a thing when they were little...

Yeah I hear you. Mine are teenagers and some friends with young ones seem to forget I've been through that stage. I hardly was a very young mum (in my 20s) but I'm on a different stage now and want to do more non older kid stuff

I never posts pics of my kids, I think they're ace, doesn't mean other people do

Slightly different here as our DC are the same age, but, I get more videos and pictures of their DC than I take of my own! I'm not foolish enough to think anybody is as interested in my DC as I am or thinks my DCs are as cute/adorable/funny/talented/gifted/amazing as me. But not all mums get that. I run out of responses to be honest. Maybe I should adopt the smiley face emoji 🤔🤔

And then when I do occasionally send a pic… maybe first time in 8 months, then don’t even send an emoji back just 2000 pics of their kids!