Anyone a “recovered” drug / alcohol addict and get flashbacks?

[Oftenithinkaboutit]

I put “recovered” in marks because I am never complacent about my recovery

I was a drug addict. Got clean 7 years ago. Since married and had two children. I am happy and settled.

However I get flashbacks to that time and it leaves me feeling, shocked, scared and sometimes cringing.

Then risks i took, how close I came to losing everything, the relationships I poisoned, the money I spent. Hits me like a lightening bolt. Then thankfully passes.

Anyone else? Will they ever stop?

Yes, recovering alcoholic here.

I get flashbacks and awful drinking/using drama from time to time.

Are you in any kind of programme? It helps to hear from other people in a similar situation. I think flashbacks are very, very common as we come to terms with our addiction and how destructive it was.

Drama = dreams

Thank you for response

I’ve had good therapy. Very good.

But it’s expensive and can’t be ongoing and regular.

I can be at a playgroup, really happy and chatting and suddenly… a flashback to a dark memory.

Someone can be talking aging how much something cost. And I’ll remember blowing £2k in a weekend. The nasty things I said.
As the risks I took are especially bad

I wonder if EMDR would help?

I say that because I got flashbacks from a trauma I went through and EMDR helped. I guess having an addiction is traumatic in itself.

I haven't been through that. But I just want to say a huge well done to you. What you have achieved by getting clean and moving on is huge.

I don't know how feasible it is to do this, never having experienced it, but is it possible to try to reframe the flashbacks? Look at them as a reminder of how far you have come?

You have achieved what many never will.

Yes.
I can be sitting at home or walking down the street and I'll suddenly for a few seconds feel like the old me. It could be a particular part of town, a smell or a person.
It's like I'm living in a parallel universe. Also get quite unsettled feeling that I'm now living some kind of fake life.
I was an alcoholic and recreational drug user. Had some terrifying experiences and they do haunt me.
Looking at me now you'd never dream I'd have experienced what I have and lived as I did. I'm such an incredibly different person.
These flashbacks make me feel like I'm not real now and acting a fake life- I'm sorry if this makes no sense.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I have flashbacks too, something triggers a memory and I experience all the emotions you describe. I use them to remind me why I never want to go that dark place again and to increase gratitude for the settled and stable life I have today.

Memories of my sober life don't provoke the same reaction because my life and behaviour are so different now. I don't know if they ever stop, I haven't had a drink for nearly 15 years and still have them but because I use them to reinforce my recovery I'm not troubled by them.

I go to AA which keeps me in touch with other people who know how it feels and I can just pick up the phone to talk to someone about it if I want or need to. It's not for everyone but it works for me.

Thank you

Mine was drugs
And somehow it seems so full of horrible negative drama

I think I need to prioritise more therapy