i dont know if im unreasonable

[Grandfather]

I know everyone is not used to this But i am afraid
Im not asking for help because i know no one can help me
I just want to explain the problems i face
My Daughter is needy i wasnt there as a man when she grew up
Wow that really hurts
My Son is a man Now he tells me
What is a Man ?
please tell me
I never had one to show me as i grew up
My grandchildren are non verbal Autistic
They will never be able to join life
It makes me cry all over
Am i being unreasonable
because i dont know where to go
what to do
how to save

Im not being unreasonable im looking for help real help not just soppy crap words

ok i just spoke to myself if i cant sort my own life out then i cant sort out my childrens nor grandchildrens

If you weren't there for your children you can't change that but you can be there for your grandchildren, autistic or not.

You've fucked up as a father so step up as a grandfather. Research your grandchildren's conditions, be the best you can for them. If you can't do that then step away.

Your Daughter is needy? I’m assuming you haven’t been much of a father to your kids. This is self inflicted tbh, speaking from experience with a deadbeat father I have no sympathy. Rather than wallowing is self pity, dust yourself off and try to step up now. It might be too late but you need to accept that.

Be a good grandpa.
Wishing you well.

You don't get do-overs with life so start from where you are now with what you have now. If you have been crap admit it to your children and ask for the chance to do better with them from now on. And as someone suggested above, read up on autism, educate yourself. Don't write your grandkids off just because their lives are different. Learn how to do what you need to do to be a meaningful part of their lives.

Were you there?
If not, then actions, consequences.
Don't try to guilt-trip your kids, if you weren't there, they owe you squat.

Ty everyone even the ones with a hint of distain
I opened up a bit that night
I shouldnt of really
Mumsnet seems an odd place to go
Nice to know theres an organisation that is honest
Im just me stumbling through life
Ty for listening

I dont know what i want we are all fed the Waltons i just love and i need someone

Look you fucked up. You were a sorry excuse for a father and you need to own your mistakes but now you have young grandchildren and the benefit of hindsight. Use it. What's done is done. You can only change what comes next, not what has already happened.

You want love? Love your grandkids. Accept that your children may never get past the fact that you were never there for them and focus on being there for your grandchildren. They are beautiful and they are your family. Autism or no, you can be there for them. They don't know what you did or didnt do in the past, they only know the person you are now. Own and apologise for your mistakes but stop living in the past before you end up missing the present

wow so many people attacking insecurities
If i show myself
If i bare my insecurity
is that a dangerous place to go ?

@Grandfather

I dont know what i want we are all fed the Waltons i just love and i need someone

This has made me furious.

If you are fed the Waltons, then surely you would've done a better job with your own children? You seem to want everything for yourself when you have children who need help desperately. Stop thinking of yourself and put them first.