Besties in year one?

[Yearonebesties]

My ds is in year one. Class were all in reception together. From what I can tell, some whose parents knew each other played together in reception, and a few who’d been in nursery together were close, but the whole class seemed pretty blended.

All I’m hearing/seeing now is paired up children everywhere. They all - apart from my son - have a proclaimed ‘bestie’. My ds, who has happily floated around groups, is growing sadder and confused as weeks go on. He says things like ‘Harris said I can’t sit with him, he wanted to wait for jacob’ and ‘I love Oliver but Oliver only loves Jack’ and, and when he tried to play with some girls, ‘they said I spy wasn’t for boys and wouldn’t play with me’.
I’m going to ask how he seems to be getting on at next parents eve but I wanted to see if this pairing up thing is this common at this age, and whether I should be bothered he’s not got a ‘best friend?’

Anyone?

They swap and change all the time at this age and next week they have different best friends.

I do agree though ask the teacher so they can keep an eye on things to ensure he isn't actually being excluded or so that she can pair him when needs be for certain activities.

If you can perhaps arrange some one on one playdates which I know can be difficult if you work.

Yes, my year one child has had the same two best friends for a few years. In fact one has been his best friend since they were babies. Sounds weird but they have always had a close bond. However, my slightly younger child has no best friend whatsoever. Except daddy

They change friends all the time. My DS is in y2 and has had the same best friend since he was in nursery but tbh I think that's quite unusual and it may well not last past infant school. - he's already talking about new friends more and more. I'd say there are more children who don't have a best friend tbh. I never really had a best friend in primary school and still don't!

My dd was like your ds in y1 and has now had three different besties in y3. It's still changing all the time imo

My DD is in year one and has had the same best friend for about a year now. It was not like that with my DS when he was her age.

However, I spoke to the reception teacher at the end of last term and it came up in conversation. She said that kids had been pairing up in a way that she had not experienced before. She thought that the pandemic has somehow changed how the children are interacting with each other and developing their friendships. She said in previous years they had tended to mix more in bigger groups.

Definitely have a word with the teacher to see if they can do some stuff in class to encourage those friendships.

My daughter is now in Year 7 and has had the same best friend since the first day of reception (but they are now in different schools so only see each other outside of school). I think the way to resolve the issue with your son is to invite as many of his classmates as you can (one at a time) for play dates, so he can bond closer with them

My experience is that my year 1 boys liked group games like Tag and football so people having a best friend wasn't a problem because they are games that are better with more people. The kids who can't/won't follow the rules set by the group were ones who had problems in the playground.

My sons didn't have a single best friend but they had a group of best friends which is a better way to socialise because people move schools, could be ill for the day or fall out so it's good to have backups.

A lot of friendships up to about year 1 are because the mums are friends imo but as the kids get older they make friends regardless of whether their mums are friends. Another way that people are more likely to become best friends is when they do the same after school activity and there's lift sharing, socialising before matches etc

My boys have had the same best friend since babies as me and their mothers are close friends. My daughter who is in year 1 now floats from group to group. Had issues having no one to play with at the start of year 1 but she seems more settled.

My eldest has her "besties" from reception also & she's now in year One.
I am constantly trying to encourage her to play with others as well. So we have the opposite issue. I don't like that they form a clique so quickly personally. I feel like it's a disaster waiting to happen!

Definitely speak to his teacher. They're usually good at encouraging them to play with someone new.

@FelicityBob

Yes, my year one child has had the same two best friends for a few years. In fact one has been his best friend since they were babies. Sounds weird but they have always had a close bond. However, my slightly younger child has no best friend whatsoever. Except daddy

Aw that made me smile. My eldest best friend was definitely daddy when he was little. Not interested in other children at all. Used to worry me, now he's 17 with a large circle of mates... OP I know it's hard but try not to worry too much, their friendship change all the time at that age.

My daughter is in year four. She has a handful of close friends who are all in different friendship groups so she flits from one to another. She has no one best friend but she seems perfectly happy. I was worried for a long time but thinking about my own friendships I'm exactly the same and would rather have a number of closw friends than just one.

My yr 2 son was asked by his teacher who his closest friends are recently. She repeated what he said at parents evening (as an example of how friendly he is). 2 of the three he mentioned I have never heard of!

Hmm interesting thanks all!