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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child's gained weight with daily exercising

117 replies

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 09:46

Hello all. It seems a child's weight post can get pretty nasty but want some advice... I'll take the bit.

Ds is 10, he has asd. He's about 145cm tall. A few weeks ago he was 6.5 Stone which put him in the overweight category.

He doesn't really care about his weight so it goes over his head, which is good. I don't want him obsessing over his weight.

I've been trying to watch what he eats. Also we've bought him a new bike since his old one got too small. For the last 3-4 weeks he's been out on it daily. For an hour outside after school each day and often going on 2 mile bike rides with Dp... he's obsessed with his new bike.

I felt like he was looking like he'd slimmed down a bit, in the face too I think!

But I've weighed him today and he is 6 Stone 12.5! Nearly 7 Stone. Wtf?? Surely he can't gain half a stone in a few weeks whilst we are making an effort with his diet and exercise.

He is 10 nearly 11! He is in 11-12 clothes that fit him fine so not in clothes big for his age!

What the hell do I do now?

His diet isn't the best but not the worst either. He only drinks water, hates anything sweet, he's partial to chocolate and crisps but in moderation. He doesn't like sweets.

For breakfast it's usually 2 slices of marmite on toast, school lunches on week days and usually fish fingers for dinner (he will only eat fish fingers atm, don't hate me). He maybe had a packet of crisps in the evening but that's it. Weekends he may eat a little more but not extreme!

OP posts:

Readeatcake · 23/10/2021 09:49

Did you weigh him at the same time of day in the morning after going to the loo? Did you have a big meal the evening before weigh day.
If you think he looks slimmer why focus on the number, maybe use a tape measure take his waist measurement and see if that goes down.

sueelleker · 23/10/2021 09:51

Muscle weighs more than fat, so he may be slimmer and still weigh more.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 23/10/2021 09:52

He won't lose weight because that isn't how it works for children. The hope is his gain will slow in it's trajectory while he grows taller, thus evening out more. Sorry if that isn't a great explanation!

The two weights you have taken, one or both could have been inaccurate also. Just check it every few months. You also didn't mention if you had checked his height as that might explain any gain. Also remember weight can fluctuate over the day.

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 09:53

I don't weigh him often buy a few weeks ago he was 6 and a half now nearly 7 Stone. I didn't intend to weigh him today...

OP posts:

chesterelly · 23/10/2021 09:53

Well on the chart I checked he was bang in the middle of the healthy weight band. You think his face is leaner. He is probably burning fat but building muscle. Obviously a lb of fat weighs the same as a lb of muscle but the muscle will be leaner. Stop obsessing or you are going to give him a problem. You said he didn't care about his weight. Good! Because he has nothing to care about.

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 09:54

@ThisMustBeMyDream

I do get that. I wasn't really expecting him to lose any, I was just hoping he'd stay the same, not gain anymore! He had a massive growth spurt height wise last year and hasn't grown much taller in several months so maybe he's due to shoot upwards soon!

OP posts:

TimeToChangePassword · 23/10/2021 09:54

From my own experience- my eldest got chubby around that time too. People commented and I worried,

But when I thought about his diet, and the fact he was physically active- I decided it might be physiological.
He then had his growth spurt and ended up a slim 6ft.

However, your sons diet may well have not enough protein in it/ he’ll need extra iron/ vitamins as he grows.

I absolutely know it’s more difficult with a person with ASD, can you get any advice from local ASD services?

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 09:57

@TimeToChangePassword

From my own experience- my eldest got chubby around that time too. People commented and I worried,

But when I thought about his diet, and the fact he was physically active- I decided it might be physiological.
He then had his growth spurt and ended up a slim 6ft.

However, your sons diet may well have not enough protein in it/ he’ll need extra iron/ vitamins as he grows.

I absolutely know it’s more difficult with a person with ASD, can you get any advice from local ASD services?

Yeah his diet isn't great, which we admit too. He is very healthy otherwise despite his bad diet. He does try more at school than he does at home! Calcium is a big problem with him as he hates dairy products!

He does eat chicken so does get some protein...

OP posts:

gamerchick · 23/10/2021 09:59

Stop weighing him.

My experience is they fill out during locust eating phase and then have a growth spurt. They always fill out a bit at this age IME.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 23/10/2021 10:01

Exercise can drive the appetite, so it may be as simple as more exercise> hungrier>weight gain. As he gets used to it things will even out.

Keep on doing what you’re doing. Encourage the exercise, eating healthily, it will work. Don’t try and restrict food, with children it’s impossible to work out what they need, if in a growth phase they can need what seems like huge amounts.

Stop focussing on the numbers. You say he looks better, he’s in age appropriate clothes, he’s getting exercise. He may be about to grow so is laying down supplies and it will all stretch out in the next few months.

MushMonster · 23/10/2021 10:02

Check your balance, it may be wrong.
You need to weigh him at the same time, as our weight varies throughout the day. I think just after waking up, before eating or drinking anything is a good time indeed.
Ask him if he is eating something after riding, as many people get hungry after exercising.
And then, if he is not bulky as you say he fits well in his clothes, his weight may have to do with muscle indeed, which is actually good. Muscle is heavier than fat. With all this exercising, his legs will be piling up the muscle!
Actually, you need to make sure that he is eating plenty to cope with it, as his body will need building blocks to recover and create new muscle.
And keep going! Do not give up. Weight loss is really weird. You think nothing is making a difference when the balance is not showing it, but it does, a huge difference. His body will get much stronger and healthier, even if he does not lose weight.
Always remember that the BMI and weight charts are a general approach that suits the majority of people, but not all. If he looks healthy, do not make weight your main indicator, but his fitness.

YerAWizardHarry · 23/10/2021 10:04

My son almost 9 year old is similar, slightly taller and heavier. His diet isn’t perfect but it’s pretty good and he is always on the move. He’s predicted to be 6ft3 though and I’ve got a feeling a massive growth spurt is right round the corner and that he will stretch out the bit of “podge” he has

InTheLabyrinth · 23/10/2021 10:05

Are you sure about the 6.5 stone putting him overweight?
The fitness is great, although a 2 mile bike ride isnt particularly far.
Focus on the fitness, and as decent a diet as you can.

MushMonster · 23/10/2021 10:05

Give him calcium supplements. They are really tasty in the big fizzy tablets.
I always loved them.

MushMonster · 23/10/2021 10:08

If he gets hungrier now that he is riding, this may help you with his diet.
I find that my body prefers light and fresh foods after exercising, so I eat more veggies and healthier!
Try to offer some new foods and see what happens. Hopefully he will try.

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 10:10

@MushMonster

Give him calcium supplements. They are really tasty in the big fizzy tablets. I always loved them.

He won't take anything that resembles a sweet or anything fuzzy 😪 I can't even get vitamin gummies into him!

OP posts:

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 10:11

@InTheLabyrinth

Are you sure about the 6.5 stone putting him overweight? The fitness is great, although a 2 mile bike ride isnt particularly far. Focus on the fitness, and as decent a diet as you can.

It is an achievement for him as he also has joint hypermobility! He couldn't ride a bike until he was 8-9 so we are quite proud 💕

OP posts:

MintJulia · 23/10/2021 10:12

'...locust eating phase..'

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 23/10/2021 10:13

I know this sounds obvious but remember he's still growing- so it's not like weighing an adult. His weight is supposed to be increasing. Just maybe slower than it previously has been. Focus on his fitness rather than his weight, can he do more with less effort etc?

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 10:13

@MushMonster

If he gets hungrier now that he is riding, this may help you with his diet. I find that my body prefers light and fresh foods after exercising, so I eat more veggies and healthier! Try to offer some new foods and see what happens. Hopefully he will try.

I wish he would try eating more. It's a huge sensory thing for him but believe it or not his diet is ten times better than it used to be. When he was younger he'd only eat toast, no cooked food etc. He absolutely hates fruit as not keen on sweet fruits but will eat carrots and broccoli now which is a huge achievement for him 💕

OP posts:

ThinWomansBrain · 23/10/2021 10:16

That messed with my head - I tend to think in feet and inches for height and kilograms.
It's great that you care about your child's weight (writing as a child who got dragged along to a weight clinic at about 8, by mother who continued baking me cakes & praising me for eating them in huge quantities and not linking the two).
Continue with encouraging healthy diet and activity - and weigh on a regular basis and look at the trend - and as PP has suggested, same time of day, same clothes...

He is in age appropriate clothes, 145cm isn't that far off of 5ft - he hardly sounds obese.
I just did a quick google & came across an NHS chart suggesting ideal body weight for a 5ft male is 50kg (7.9 stone) - so for a ten year old with pubert and growth spurts ahead it doesn't sound like a big problem worth obsessing about - or causing him to obsess about.

Original poster

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 11:01

@ThinWomansBrain haha thank you. I always use cm and stones, sorry 😅

I have an unhealthy relationship with weight too so I totally empathise. My mother was always telling me I was big and needed to lose weight else I wouldn't have friends or a boyfriend later in life but still proceeded to feed us rubbish every single day, massive portions, chocolate, crisps etc then all of a sudden all of us would be on a very restricted diet (she was big too) and repeat over and over again. I still have an unhealthy relationship with food but I try not to let it show to my kids.

I'm the first to admit that Ds'a diet is rubbish due to his asd but I'm trying not to raise him in a way my mother did! He isn't given massive portions (I don't think). My mother used to tube us biscuits and crisps for breakfast but I make sure Ds has breakfast albeit marmite on toast every day (marmite is healthy right?).

OP posts:

MushMonster · 23/10/2021 11:10

Keep trying, gently. Just put the food out there and see what happens.
I drink smoothies rather than eat fruit. Fruit always bothered my teeth for some reason. But I love the smoothies!
Well done to him for riding and eating better!

XelaM · 23/10/2021 11:13

Muscles weigh more than fat. Maybe he's building muscles?

Somebodylikeyew · 23/10/2021 11:16

Stop weighing him. Just encourage the exercise and do as much with his diet as you can. It sounds like he’ll even out.

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