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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What to get adult son for his birthday

16 replies

Happieronmyown · 23/10/2021 04:36

My 23 year old son still lives with me & I've no idea what to get for his birthday. He doesn't have a girlfriend, he's got a good set of friends, but like most lads his age they don't bother with cards & presents. He has a decent job for his age & just buys what he wants when he wants. He's got plenty of everything. Even he doesn't know what he'd like. He's had a lot of experience gifts over the years. I'd like him to have something nice to open on his birthday, but what!
He's saving for a deposit so he can move out. He doesn't want to rent as it's dead money in his eyes. The way the housing market is he'll be with me forever & neither of us wants that. Just give him a wad of cash to put to his deposit? A bank transfer is so much better than a wad of cash in that case, but sounds a boring way to receive your birthday present. Maybe I should stop indulging him on his birthday. He's not a baby & is trying to adult as best he can whilst still living with his old mum

OP posts:
Avacadoandtoast · 23/10/2021 04:44

Has he got any hobbies op? Maybe some cash straight into his savings then a bag of nice smaller things to open if you can afford both? A new wallet, a tshirt, some nice chocolates, a moleskin notepad and if he has a favourite meal make that for dinner.

EatYourVegetables · 23/10/2021 06:38

A wad of cash and a luxurious wooly jumper. Winter is coming and you can never have too many really soft jumpers. (Also bamboo socks and a fluffy bathrobe if he doesn’t have one.)

GreekTragedy · 23/10/2021 06:48

Wad of cash and some really expensive aftershave.

Ilovechristmasasmuchasiloveyou · 23/10/2021 06:51

Cashmere jumper?
I recently bought my husband Savage perfume. Smells amazing!!
Airpods? Apple watch? Different type of watch?

LynetteScavo · 23/10/2021 06:55

I think at that age you don't have to give them something big like when they were younger. Something small and nice, such as a sweatshirt or book and if you want to tell him you've transferred some money towards his house deposit. I would go all out with cake and balloons though, and take him out for a meal or cook his favourite foods.

shouldistop · 23/10/2021 07:04

I'd transfer money and give him a nice jumper like others have said.
Would he appreciate you making him his favourite breakfast and getting a small birthday cake?

shouldistop · 23/10/2021 07:05

Maybe I should stop indulging him on his birthday. He's not a baby & is trying to adult as best he can whilst still living with his old mu

We should all be indulged on our birthdays Smile

HerbivorousRex · 23/10/2021 07:31

Honestly, if he’s living at home and saving for a deposit then he’d probably rather have cash/a bank transfer (unless he’s mentioned something he specifically wants).
In our late teens to mid twenties my parents usually transferred us some money and then just took us out for a nice meal and bought/made a cake.
You could always get him a small gift like a book/fancy coffee, chocolate or booze/item of clothing if you want to get him something to unwrap.

Dojacatpaws · 23/10/2021 07:39

An experience like the longest zip wire in uk, vouchers for a theme park, or tickets to something

Porcupineintherough · 23/10/2021 07:41

You could start a hope chest for him. Bed linen, crockery, cleaning materials- all the stuff he'll need when he gets his own place. Wink

AutumnLeafy · 23/10/2021 07:46

Could you ask him? Or give him a voucher for somewhere you know he likes? Or I'm sure a wodge of cash so he can move out quicker will be fine.

myheartskippedabeat · 23/10/2021 07:58

A nice fancy meal out
Clothes

pumpkinpie01 · 23/10/2021 08:15

My ds was 24 a few weeks ago , we bought him clothes , a belt, socks and a nice cap and he had a family meal out and the local Indian. He seemed quite happy with that .

GoodnightGrandma · 23/10/2021 08:17

My DS uses his AirPods a lot.
This year he was at Uni so we just did a bank transfer.

Artie30 · 23/10/2021 08:18

He sounds very sensible! Many lads his age do not think about saving for a mortgage. He sounds like he might appreciate the money to go into his savings... also maybe some clothes? Aftershave? You sound lovely. By that age I was lucky to get a pack of biscuits off my my mum for my birthday - if she knew me at all, she'd know I'm not actually a biscuit fan 😅 I sound ungrateful here but she really doesn't bother at all!

Bearnecessity · 23/10/2021 08:47

I am in the same situation re:Christmas....watching with interest

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