My relationship is a disaster. I am always walking on eggshells, I get a lot of the silent treatment, I'm always trying to make him happy, I get blamed for everything etc. It feels like I'm only loved if I never challenge him and always put his needs first.
Because we have children I really want to make it work, so agreed to go to a couple's counselling session. But then he spent a lot of the session saying that I am abusive, that the problem is my temper (I do get so frustrated sometimes that I shout at him, mainly when I have been ignored but I've been working hard on myself and haven't lost my temper in months). He says that the problem is my failure to treat him with respect, that I need to understand the relationship can only continue if I treat him with respect. He kept saying how my behaviour was unacceptable and that I shouldn't be able to get away with it just because I'm not physically abusive. He kept saying how my abuse needs to stop. One of our children was very ill when born and I had PND and he said that he was sympathetic at first, but it's been years now and I have no excuse for my abuse.
I feel completely broken tonight. I'm worried he may be right. I was awful when I had PND. I do lose my temper. I am far from perfect, but I try so hard.
I know you don't know me, so you can't say that I'm not abusive, but I could really do with some support.
One thing that is maybe helping me to think about a bit are - how he's so certain I'm abusive, which doesn't seem to really fit with him being a victim. Also how hard I try to make him happy and how I feel like its his way or the highway.
I just feel so confused by it all though and so sad.