My new manager

[dakota1234]

NC. I've been thinking about making this post for 3-4 weeks

I started a new job three months ago that I'm really enjoying. Colleagues inc manager have been very welcoming etc and made me feel like part of the time

However my manager has a style of managing that I haven't experienced before. If I need to ask a question I end up being asked the question and his tone borders on argumentative

I actually sit there sometimes not wanting to ask a question. I can go days without having to ask a question and if colleagues are there I ask them instead where possible.
They know what he's like as both of them have told me to email them if I want so he doesn't hear the question/conversation (small office).

One of my colleagues is away until Monday and deals with sales and invoices, today I had a question via email from a customer wanting to know if they can pick up their purchase tomorrow. It's £4,000 so there's a lot of money at stake

When I asked my manager a question about the purchase I got a barrage of questions that I didn't know anything about. It's the first time my colleague has been off who deals with it and as it's not part of my normal job I've never been shown how to do it

I don't think he realises that the tone of his voice comes across as quite aggressive and argumentative. I'm not sure whether to mention it, not sure how he would take it

I've seen him fly off the handle at a few of the sales team already. It just puts me off entering into conversations with him even if about my hobbies or current affairs. He always seems to want to force his opinion

A couple of weeks ago for example I said that I like watching crime programmes like Line of Duty, CSI, 24 Hours in Police Custody etc and I got a lecture about why I shouldn't watch them, that it paints society in a negative light

I ended the conversation by telling him that I enjoy watching them and that I will continue to do so. I've reached the stage now where I just smile or nod if he's says something as I feel my response will just end up turning into a big lecture about why I'm wrong or why he doesn't agree

My colleague left because of him a few years ago but is now back. They did have a run in a few weeks ago though. How would you handle a man like this?

He's always pressing his opinion on me or whoever is nearby and he comes across as quite preachy. He started talking about religion whilst I was outside on my lunch recently, I just wanted some quiet time but had to listen to his opinions on religion

I get on with him most of the time but he can just flip at any given time

What's the minimum acceptable time to stay in a role in your industry? I'd start looking, quite honestly.

I have an anxiety problem and I've found that people like him don't help. Not in any capacity but certainly not as bosses.

I would not indulge in casual conversation with him. Pretend to be very focused on your work, no time to chatter. Only ask him a work related question when you have to.

The thing is I actually enjoy the job and I've had top marks in my appraisal but what I've detailed does weigh on me

I wouldn't want to leave before at least a year.

The approach that I'm trying to take is to not engage, just nod or smile or even just keep carrying on with my work

I was quite annoyed with myself today because I engaged about something else that I haven't mentioned and the same thing happened. He said something, I responded and then my opinion got thrown back at me

I think he likes being argumentative tbh. I sometimes wait for him to go out of the office to talk to the others as he will barge into a question I've asked and takeover, he's a strange character. Great in someways but hard to handle in others

He sounds like a massive bully. You say that he’s been welcoming, but then you also say that you are afraid to ask him questions, even when it is about someone else’s job, and you’ve seen him “fly off the handle”? You also say: “He's always pressing his opinion on me or whoever is nearby and he comes across as quite preachy. He started talking about religion whilst I was outside on my lunch recently, I just wanted some quiet time but had to listen to his opinions on religion.” No. Religion, like politics and sexuality, are your own business and have no place in the workplace in this way (unless you are close to your colleagues and feel enough to share this). Let alone judging what you enjoy watching on TV! It is his private belief and he has no right to push this on you and make you feel uncomfortable, especially as a new employee. He sounds irrational, angry and awful. How did he get the job? Is he part of the same family and/or religious network as the owners/directors? Get out of there. Run fast and run hard. It will never get better. Trust me.