I don't know if this is unreasonable or normal

[Explainsomethingtome]

Every that happens in my life is organised by me. Everything that happens in my dc's life is organised by me. It's exhausting. No one does anything for me unless I specifically ask.

Whenever I go and visit my family, everything we do while I'm there is organised by me. Is this normal? AIBU to expect that given I'm making the effort to travel to see them they could spend a little time organising what might happen during that visit? I don't want to be in charge of everything all the time. Sometimes it would be nice to just have a break.

I don't know, but I feel the same.

Are you me?

Are you together with the DC’s father, OP?

I’m sorry you feel like this - it is exhausting. How old are the DC?

Sorry you are feeling the same Newchallenge.

I feel like this has been my life for years now - even before dc. It's my dream in life for someone to actually spend 5 minutes, without any prompting, giving a shit and trying to do something nice for me or to help me.

No, I'm single NoSquirrels. DC in primary school so still pretty dependent.

Is there a partner involved? How old are the children?

What do you have to organise when you see your family? What would happen if you didn't do it?

We've bought a weekly organiser - it's on the fridge. Everything that is happening this week is on the organiser.

I'm still having to remind my DH about what the list need when on what day. LOOK AT THE BLOODY ORGANISER!!!

Thekids not list

Cross post.

Is the children's father not involved at all? Doesn't do any co-parenting?

Tell us about your family… have they always been like this? What were they like growing up?

DC's father not completely absent in that he does see them but he's absent from any responsibility. He hinders far more than he helps by creating problems for them that I have to take responsibility for resolving.

Yes, I'm wallowing in self pity this evening!

It feels like it spans generations of my family. The older ones have probably always been like that. The younger ones probably see me as older and therefore the adult, even though they are all well into adulthood themselves. I don't think anyone appreciates what a slog life is when you have to do everything yourself with no support as they've never been in my situation.

What happens if you just say no? If you just don’t plan or organise - if you ask someone else to?

Have you asked? Or is it the case you feel you couldn’t?

Yes..: sometimes... and I can’t be arsed anymore. I’m just exhausted.

DH tried to help organise DS birthday party and order the party bag stuff.. but he is just constantly asking me questions.... whereas I would just get on and order things without a convo. I’d be quicker doing it myself

I suppose the point is I'd like not to have to ask. If I do ask, it's definitely not guaranteed anything will be organised. I did ask recently and nothing happened.