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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not use my initiative at work?

14 replies

Keke94LND · 21/10/2021 17:19

A couple months ago I was arranging a call that my boss had asked me to do, in the email I received was all of the external participants and my boss. The other guy in my office (it's a tiny office) then asked me what time the call was going to be as he would be joining, I then sent a calendar invite to everybody including him, it turned out this was the wrong thing to do, and he was going to join the call without the other participants knowing (I have no idea why), my boss told me off for including him in the invite and she said he wasn't cc'd in the emails and so why did I include him? I said I included him because he asked me what time the call would be and so I assumed he should be added... my boss then told me I 'shouldn't use my initiative'

Since then I do not really use my initiative, mainly because I'm worried about being wrong, and my boss is getting annoyed because of this... she hasn't actually said anything to me, but I can tell, AIBU?

OP posts:
silveryslade · 21/10/2021 17:26

I think you need a discussion to resolve this. Processes should be made clear. If you've not picked up on them for whatever reason seek clarification now. Otherwise it'll be you that will suffer, unfortunately.

CoRhona · 21/10/2021 17:26

Your colleague is a CF who invited himself! Next time only invite those on the email but you couldn't really win either way.

Original poster
Keke94LND · 21/10/2021 17:28

@silveryslade

I think you need a discussion to resolve this. Processes should be made clear. If you've not picked up on them for whatever reason seek clarification now. Otherwise it'll be you that will suffer, unfortunately.
Processes of stuff are just made up by my boss tbh, one minute it should be done like this, the next it should be done differently. One minute she wants me to wait for her approval on something the next I should do it without her approval 🤷🏼‍♀️ she's not the best communicator either
OP posts:
TooMinty · 21/10/2021 17:30

I think you need to have an open honest chat with her. I don't think she should have told you off for including that guy as I think he should have said not to put him on the invite. I also think it's a bit weird he was going to attend without telling the other attendees! Why?

But she probably didn't mean you to take her comment literally although I can see why you did...

If she's a good boss, then she will be able to sort this out and move forward.

TooMinty · 21/10/2021 17:31

Cross posted with you, sounds like she's not a good boss! Time to look for a new job?

Original poster
Keke94LND · 21/10/2021 17:31

Also to mention, there are a lot of calls I arrange that the guy is on, where he is no cc'd in the email, usually I don't include him in the calendar invite as I have no idea he's meant to be on the call and then my boss will ask me why I havnt included him. This time I added him because he did mention being on the call so I just assumed I should 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Nomorecoco · 21/10/2021 17:31

I had ridiculous feedback like this once and took it very literally, making it very clear I was doing so (you could say it was a bit childish but so was the feedback) it made made my working life much easier as I cared less.

Original poster
Keke94LND · 21/10/2021 17:32

@TooMinty

Cross posted with you, sounds like she's not a good boss! Time to look for a new job?
Yeah I will be soon! Just waiting for a mortgage to be approved!
OP posts:
Kite22 · 21/10/2021 17:33

What Silvery said.
Ask your boss if you can clarify what come under your role, and what it is she would rather you didn't make decisions about.
Say you want to do the job well, but felt it wasn't appreciated when you tried to be helpful at all so can she clarify what the boundaries are.
Otherwise you just come across as if you are sulking.

daisychain01 · 21/10/2021 17:36

In this particular scenario I would have been more direct in questioning the colleague as to why he needed to be in the meeting then take that information to your manager "Bill asked me to send him the link to tomorrow's meeting and when I asked him why he needed to be involved, he said xyz - should I send him the meeting link?" That way your manager would have seen you managing the situation proactively and controlling the meeting attendance to the right people, so it isn't "everyone and their dog" on the call. Your manager could have made the final decision.

Not taking any initiative isn't a good look and won't get you places. You need to ask the right questions and think about the consequences of what you're doing a bit more.

silveryslade · 21/10/2021 17:36

All you can do,then, is ask about stuff when you are given a task. Try to have questions ready to pre-empt anything that might come up.

Belledan1 · 21/10/2021 17:44

An old boss once got up and shut his office door as his mobile rang. His wife rang on the main phone and I said he was busy. Take a message. Literally sent straightaway. I got told off for not trying to put it through!!

Original poster
Keke94LND · 21/10/2021 18:18

@Belledan1

An old boss once got up and shut his office door as his mobile rang. His wife rang on the main phone and I said he was busy. Take a message. Literally sent straightaway. I got told off for not trying to put it through!!
Haha I was a pa in an office a while ago and one of the men's wives used to call quite a lot, she called this one time saying that she was driving to a location and was lost, she told me where abouts she was and asked me to text her the directions, I was only 21 at the time so I did it! If that happened now I'd put the phone down 🤣
OP posts:
Belledan1 · 21/10/2021 18:40

Lol dont blame you. I actually sorry got told off by my boss not his wife even though he shut his door so to me that is DND

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