Who is being u- regarding buying a home

[PropertyUndecided]

We’ve rented our current home for 10years. Our LL has always lived abroad and told us we could buy the house whenever we’re ready. We were never in a rush but decided we would buy it earlier this year. (The LL is having some legal trouble which should be sorted before the end of the year and then we can proceed with the purchase).

The house is much cheaper compared to others in the area. It was valued at £25K more than the LL has offered it to us. He’s being generous because we’ve lived here, looked after and paid his mortgage for so long. Our home is the only old house on the side of our street. The rest were built about 5 years ago and cost twice the price of ours.

Now to my aibu. The house needs a lot of work - new bathroom, new kitchen, new windows and doors. We also want a 4 bed instead of the 3 bed which our home currently is so we’ll do a dormer extension in the loft. Possibly, we could do a kitchen extension but we might not. This is my preferred option .

DH thinks this is too much of a hassle. We should just go for the new mortgage on a new home and pay twice the price and not have any of the trouble of building works.
I’m in my late 30s and DH is in his mid 40s. We can afford to comfortably pay a mortgage at a twice what our rent is but I would rather have a low mortgage, pay it off within 15 years and retire with no mortgage.
DH thinks we could just sell when the time comes and downsize.

Who is right?

Aibu - buy the new house and save yourself the stress

Ainbu - buy your current home. The hassle will be worth it

I'd always go for the older house because I find them to be better built, have fewer unresolved issues, involve smaller mortgages, and I don't mind living with the refurbishment.

But I'm not your DP. He may absolutely hate mess, get totally stressed about it and not be able to sleep. We are all different. It sounds like he just wants an easy life and is less bothered about money.

Neither of you is unreasonable, you just have different preferences.

No right or wrong really.
Much would it cost for everything new and to extend?
If same price as another house with everything done then depends if you can live in the mess.
How much do you love the house? Is there nicer?

If you can design and build exactly what you want and if it will add value to an already good value house, then that seems to be the obvious route to take.

If after all the time and hassle it still won’t be exactly what you want then maybe it’ll be better to just go for what you want in the first place.

I’m leaning towards your option though, if the work and cheap price will mean you could make an instant “profit”.

I'd stay where you are, you know your house in and out by now and can choose exactly what you want

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable here, to be honest.

There are clearly advantages to buying your current home, but there are disadvantages too.

If your husband isn't up for doing work to a house, that's not an unreasonable position. Not everyone has the patience, project management skills, aptitude or indeed budget required to do renovations and major works.

My BIL had a big extension project done recently (they went up into the roof, also a kitchen extension and some layout twiddles downstairs, plus driveway work and new bathrooms). It cost about £150,000 (they'd budgeted 90k) and the work went on for over a year because of various delays. They had no kitchen for two months. They said 'never again' and they are relatively phlegmatic people.

I think you need to work out what your ideal renovations would cost, and net that off against the new house + costs of moving. Don't forget that convenience has a benefit too, in terms of saved time which you could potentially put a value on.

Well no one is right or wrong, it’s personal preference

I’d say your option is the most sensible, but it depends how much the lack of disruption matters to the individual. That said, he realises that moving is stressful and disruptive too?

How easily can you afford to buy one for twice as much?

Building work is a hassle, but if living through it is the only way to afford the end product, IMO, it is worth it

Another option is renting somewhere short term while the worst of the building work is done, which will probably still work out cheaper than buying somewhere new, by the sounds of it

Personally, I would always prefer an older house over a new build.

If you've been there for 10 years, you already know the quirks and issues with the house, so it is a known quantity in that sense, plus you know the street, the neighbours etc
That would count for something in my book

I say but what you are in and do it up,get rid of mortgage.
Doubling your outlay in the current uncertain world could be a massive mistake.
Write down all the pros & cons for both options,now and in the future,maybe get some quotes for the work that needs doing and sit and discuss.hopefully you will remain in your home.

I think it comes to how much you like your current house and it is likely to meet future needs.

Buying elsewhere can also be a hassle, particularly with chains, and there may always be hidden issues.

I live in a relatively new build 20odd years. Recently bought an older property.
The older property is much more solid
I would never buy another new build

@MintJulia

I'd always go for the older house because I find them to be better built, have fewer unresolved issues, involve smaller mortgages, and I don't mind living with the refurbishment.

But I'm not your DP. He may absolutely hate mess, get totally stressed about it and not be able to sleep. We are all different. It sounds like he just wants an easy life and is less bothered about money.

Neither of you is unreasonable, you just have different preferences.

He definitely has a different attitude towards money. I hate debt but to him, as long as he can afford it, no problem.

@CocaColaTruck1

No right or wrong really. Much would it cost for everything new and to extend? If same price as another house with everything done then depends if you can live in the mess. How much do you love the house? Is there nicer?

It would cost significantly less to carry out the required works. We would be at least £100K better off, taking into account the currrent high costs of materials.

I feel like not buying this house is turning down £25,000. I would want to buy my current house. You’d save a few grand in moving fees for a start!

There is no right or wrong. There are individual preferences and pros and cons. Depends on the quality of the old and the new houses. Old houses can be good or bad. They can be solid or not; for instance, could have poor foundations or poor insulation which makes them cold and hard to heat. And they might have very old wiring, roof tiles and timbers, floors, plumbing, piping and drainage, some of which might require work.

New houses also can be good or bad depending on the quality of the build. If properly specified and built to modern standards they should be better insulated. They may have smaller room sizes and gardens, though and there is a premium on the price of a brand new house but if well finished, there is little or no work and not much maintenance needed for a number of years.

And the same caution applies to refurbishing and extensions: much depends on the quality of the work.

How much can you trust your £25k under market value when it needs so much renovation doing to it?

It would be good to get an independent valuation, or two.

Ask how much the house is worth to buy now?
How much will be it worth with basic renovations?
How much would the value be with a dormer extension?

I would also ask if they had a rough idea on cost to do it up, but don't trust that as much. I suspect you underestimate how much work it is to live in and renovate, and how much everything costs.

@BeetleyCarapace

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable here, to be honest.

There are clearly advantages to buying your current home, but there are disadvantages too.

If your husband isn't up for doing work to a house, that's not an unreasonable position. Not everyone has the patience, project management skills, aptitude or indeed budget required to do renovations and major works.

My BIL had a big extension project done recently (they went up into the roof, also a kitchen extension and some layout twiddles downstairs, plus driveway work and new bathrooms). It cost about £150,000 (they'd budgeted 90k) and the work went on for over a year because of various delays. They had no kitchen for two months. They said 'never again' and they are relatively phlegmatic people.

I think you need to work out what your ideal renovations would cost, and net that off against the new house + costs of moving. Don't forget that convenience has a benefit too, in terms of saved time which you could potentially put a value on.

If we go with my preference, I’ll have to accept that I’ll be doing the bulk of the project management, costing, etc. I’ve got transferable skills from my job so I don’t mind . I’d prefer it that way tbh.

@SW1amp

How easily can you afford to buy one for twice as much?

Building work is a hassle, but if living through it is the only way to afford the end product, IMO, it is worth it

Another option is renting somewhere short term while the worst of the building work is done, which will probably still work out cheaper than buying somewhere new, by the sounds of it

Personally, I would always prefer an older house over a new build.

If you've been there for 10 years, you already know the quirks and issues with the house, so it is a known quantity in that sense, plus you know the street, the neighbours etc
That would count for something in my book

Renting somewhere temporarily is not a bad shout at all. DH might prefer that idea.

How much of a bargain is the price offered realistically if that much work is needed?

@SW1amp

How easily can you afford to buy one for twice as much?

Building work is a hassle, but if living through it is the only way to afford the end product, IMO, it is worth it

Another option is renting somewhere short term while the worst of the building work is done, which will probably still work out cheaper than buying somewhere new, by the sounds of it

Personally, I would always prefer an older house over a new build.

If you've been there for 10 years, you already know the quirks and issues with the house, so it is a known quantity in that sense, plus you know the street, the neighbours etc
That would count for something in my book

We’d have to change our lifestyle significantly so not as many holidays, etc . I’ll add that to the list and that should hopefully get DH to think ‘thrice’ . He really values the chance to escape on relaxing breaks because his work is so stressful

@MusingOnStarlight

I feel like not buying this house is turning down £25,000. I would want to buy my current house. You’d save a few grand in moving fees for a start!

That’s how I feel!

@2Two

How much of a bargain is the price offered realistically if that much work is needed?

I valued got quotes for the repair works required, added a bit on top as I anticipated some push back and presented it to the LL. The reduction was expected to cover the costs of the works and a bit more. However, with the increase in materials, that might not be the case but we won’t need to add much more.

Thanks very much for your input. I appreciate you sharing your viewpoint.

I’ll spend some time putting together a clear pros and cons lists with clear costs and timescales. Hopefully, DH will be swayed.

I’ll ask him to do the same and that’ll show how serious he is. Or not!

I'm with you OP, I'd always rather take on a project - while in the short term there might be some dust and disruption, you ultimately end up with something that 100% suits your needs and tastes. It's also very low risk, unlike a new house that you might only have viewed twice before getting in there. And if you're doing all the project management that's another big plus for your DH. He's being a bit short-sighted.

If the £25K reduction is based on a valuation that already takes the works that the house needs doing into account then that could be a good deal.

I would look at the square footage of the new build property in your budget, and compare that to your current house. You may find that the new build will be smaller than what you have already.