I have no relationship with my siblings. Our parents were neglectful and abusive alcoholic drug addicts. We were taken by our grandparents when I was 7 once they realised the problem. I’m the youngest by a long way (one of my earliest memories is being called the mistake by my father).
I went NC with my eldest brother several years ago when our father died. My sister had started visiting him and eldest brother decided we would all visit, all organise his funeral etc and it caused WWIII when I decline. Lots of nasty things were said and done, including me having to call the police when my brother was kicking my front door and screaming at me that I was a spoilt brat at 2am (I was heavily pregnant, DH was away and I had my other children in my home).
At that point he made our two siblings, his wife (who, being 9 years older than me, had been like a big sister/aunt/mum figure since I was young) and his children choose between him and I, and pressured them to the point that none of them spoke to me or my children again.
A while after I went NC my SIL and niece and nephews came to stay with us for a while after my brother assaulted SIL. She opened up at that point that he’d been abusive for many years. When she chose to go back my teenage nephew refused and has been part of our home ever since. This culminated in my brother turning up and being removed by police twice, making vexatious complaints to social services and my work (I worked in schools at the time).
There have been other incidents over the years (including a recent one where my niece wanted to live with us and showed some similar tendencies to her father) where he has been nasty and intimidating.
Anyway this week I had a letter from my brother, via an intermediary, stating that he’s been having counselling and he bitterly regrets the state of our relationship. He requested that I meet him, with a mediator, to talk and so that he can apologise properly.
I replied to the letter stating that I was very glad he was in a better place and that I wished him well with his counselling, but that I have no wish to meet him or reconcile our relationship.
He’s now ranting and raving all over social media about me. I’ve received another letter, just from him, stating that I’m being cruel and unfair by denying him closure. He’s also told a relative that I should be grateful he’s even willing to speak since I “stole” his son.
He hasn’t changed at all, has he? This is just not the actions of a genuinely contrite person.
Why on Earth would the mediation people have got involved with this in the first place? Abusers (and he has convictions) shouldn’t be given mediation - everyone knows that!