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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sad and Dissapointed - AIBU

16 replies

RoseChampagne · 21/10/2021 00:47

So I belong to a lovely fitness community, the trainer is an amazing friendly Lady who really values her members and community.
At the start of our lockdown I kept my membership going to support her even though I wasn't using any Zoom or recorded classes - she knew I wasn't doing any as I told her. Then lockdown got extended so I put a hold on my Debit, removed my self from the online group completely and let her know I did this and told her I'd be back when lockdown finishes. I have also been communicating with her and checking in to see how she is and keeping up communication.
I checked my bank statement today and realised the direct debit had been reinstated - partly my fault as I thought that I had to call to re-instate it - it was on a partial hold not a permanent hold - any way I messaged her to let her know and ask if we could work something out.
She has come back to me saying its my responsibility re the direct debit. I said I was aware of this and was hoping that we could work something out when she returns to person training.
She could have returned last week when the rest of world went back to PT however she delayed her vaccination so is only able to open on the 1st of November.

I am so upset as I considered her as a friend have been so supportive of this business and her other business endeavours.

I even suggested that I start in person and make up the money and then when its made up reinstate the direct debit again.

I also thought Id call so we can have a friendly chat - she didn't answer so I left a message and let her know.

she is usually super fast to respond to anything - and I can see she has seen my message and phonecall but now no response.

also can't really talk to anyone about this as its a small community and don't want to cause any disreputation to her.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2021 00:52

It was entirely your fault though - not partly.

To be honest, she's running a business and all the 'friendly messages' in the world won't pay her bills.

SoniaFouler · 21/10/2021 00:53

Give her the benefit of the doubt - for now. You only found out yourself today, and then told her today. She didn’t give you a blanket “no”. And she might have read it and is going through her own statements. If or when she does say no, that’s when I would decide what to do next. I’m not sure what country you are in but if you’re not in the UK I’m just wondering how many months you have been unknowingly paying the DD for?

HundredMilesAnHour · 21/10/2021 00:58

Are you in England? I don't understand how you could put a 'partial hold' on your direct debit. What does this actually mean? Without knowing this, it's hard to identify is anyone is responsible other than you OP.

HundredMilesAnHour · 21/10/2021 01:00

I even suggested that I start in person and make up the money and then when its made up reinstate the direct debit again

I don't understand this??? Do you mean you proposed this during lockdown? Or more recently?

SoniaFouler · 21/10/2021 01:03

@HundredMilesAnHour

I even suggested that I start in person and make up the money and then when its made up reinstate the direct debit again

I don't understand this??? Do you mean you proposed this during lockdown? Or more recently?

I read it as the OP, after finding out today, suggested to the PT they take up classes in person once the PT is doing them again, get “free” classes until what OP paid via DD is made up, then continue with the DD payments

HundredMilesAnHour · 21/10/2021 01:04

Thanks @SoniaFouler that makes it much clearer.

samwitwicky · 21/10/2021 01:04

It was entirely your fault though - not partly.

Spot on.

YoungGiftedPlump · 21/10/2021 01:23

get the bank to recall the direct debit- then cancel it

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 21/10/2021 06:36

I’m always surprised small businesses providers behave like this. It’s really shortsighted. Of course she can say that it’s your responsibility, because, well, it is. But don’t people realise that long term, they’ll likely lose a client? I’d feel miffed, too. Especially given the previous support I’d shown her.

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 21/10/2021 06:37

You’d shown her I mean.

devildeepbluesea · 21/10/2021 06:42

@Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday totally agree.

This isn't about whose fault it is. OP was a loyal customer who made a cock up of pausing payment. Absolutely if it was me I'd be thinking twice about going back.

For context I do online classes with someone who has moved to Spain temporarily. She can't be accommodating enough, swapping our paid-for classes if for some reason they're no longer convenient. Perhaps she's been a bit too lenient - but she hasn't lost any customers.

underneaththeash · 21/10/2021 06:48

Who re-instated the direct debit? Did it happen automatically, or did the trainer do it?

I'd contact your bank, there is a direct debit guarantee and if you haven't authorised the re-instatement, it will be refunded to you.

Crunchymum · 21/10/2021 06:57

So here sessions start again on 1st November?

Surely the DD has been reinstated in advance of this? Or are you saying you are being charged for a week you won't receive?

She should have contacted you to let you know that you sessions will start again from X date.

To PP who asked, my DD was suspended automatically when swimming lessons stopped during the lockdowns and reinstated when things started up again.

I was kept in the loop though and always advised that the DD will start again on X date as lessons were back from Y date.

Original poster

RoseChampagne · 21/10/2021 20:41

@Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday - thank you -!

yes it is my fault I should have written down the DD company said it would be reinstated - however I remember telling them I'd call. My fault and I own it.
However its more how she responded - if she had even said - oh RS yes you should have noted this, how about I give you one free week or one PT session ( she accidently forgot one of my PT sessions during lock down and I let it slide as she was having a bad day) Anything, but was met with cold and hard - and that I guess is what stung me the most.
She did reply after I tried to call and apologised if she misunderstood and was hoping to come to a friendly agreement. The reply was equally cold and hard . I send the correspondence to my friend who always plays devils advocate and even she thinks the exchange was cold and unlike the PT. ( and she adores this PT and is more loyal to her than me)

TBH how the DD works and what country etc doesn't matter its not what I am arguing/upset about - its how the exchange went down. I will be calling the DD company today and will let them know that when the DD is about to be reinstated they need so send an e-mail to the customer.

I am in CS and I look after over 600 customers ( just me I am the only CS) and I can call a customer if I see something is not right with the order - she has 100 its her company surely she would be able to see who has paid and then given me a courtesy call to say hey RC you are paying again did you want to come back now?

OP posts:

Original poster

RoseChampagne · 21/10/2021 20:44

@underneaththeash

Who re-instated the direct debit? Did it happen automatically, or did the trainer do it?

I'd contact your bank, there is a direct debit guarantee and if you haven't authorised the re-instatement, it will be refunded to you.

It was on a partial hold - yes I think that is why I was confused cos I was always lead to believe that its on or off and you need to Authorise the return - apparently not here...

this PT has a few companies and I am thinking she is just doing too much and has dropped a few balls and I got her at the wrong time.

Her loss cos I have signed up to the other PT in the area now.

OP posts:

lemonyfox · 21/10/2021 20:57

'this PT has a few companies and I am thinking she is just doing too much and has dropped a few balls and I got her at the wrong time.'

But it's your fault though?

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