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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you lock your door when you’re in the house?

801 replies

patienceandprudence · 20/10/2021 19:48

Inspired by another thread (no prizes for guessing which).

I was surprised that people lock their doors sheen inside the house. Granted, we live in a small house, but it’s in a ‘bad’ area. We never lock our door when someone’s in, except at night if someone remembers. I’d say we leave it unlocked while out a good 30% of the time so if the kids come back or someone drops by to visit they don’t have to wait outside.

In my area this is the norm, and most of the time if you knock you’ll just be called in and told to walk right in next time. We tell anyone the same, even the regular delivery-people know that they can open the door and put the parcel in if it’s open.

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 22/10/2021 12:46

"So why wouldn't you?"

I think it's because people take pride in saying "I live in such a lovely area, we all leave our doors open"

BTW, whenever I go burgling, I always take a pocketful of sausages to make friends with the dogs.

RampantIvy · 22/10/2021 12:47

Grin @PigletJohn

OneStepOut · 22/10/2021 12:50

Another thing. I used to work in a call centre of a big food delivery company. I was there only 3 months and yet I personally had 3 phone calls from frightened women stalked or broken in by the drivers that earlier delivered their food. DBS checks etc. only work if the offender was previously caught. It opened my eyes as to how many people have our details and how easy is to become a target. To lock your door properly is just a small precaution and I really think those that don't are nowhere near as safe as they think they are.

Ariela · 22/10/2021 13:00

We usually lock ours, but this is largely because it opens into the hall - a corridor - and our dog is quick to greet with teeth - so don't think anyone would find anything to steal before being bitten! Our Hermes driver opened the door despite being told not to (we were outside and told driver to not put it inside but eave on step) and regretted it!

urbanbuddha · 22/10/2021 13:10

We live in a flat on the second floor. I know others who don’t lock theirs and they’re on the lower floors so imagine they’d rob them before they get to us.

I think thieves are more likely to start at the top and work their way down - less likelihood of people going past.

cricketmum84 · 22/10/2021 13:48

My sister lived in a "naice" area.

Still came downstairs to find two blokes in balaclavas going through her handbag and drawers though.

Keep. Them. Locked

waferingstranger · 22/10/2021 14:53

@BertramLacey

Its just like project management, I’ve assessed the risks and now I’m putting a mitigation in place. If something has a low probability of happening but if it did happen the impact is huge, you’d want to put something in place to stop that happening, that something is my locked door

Yes, that's pretty much what I do. The risk may be relatively low where I am now, it was much more significant when I lived in big cities. But what might happen could be quite horrendous. The simple act of locking my door dramatically cuts the risk. So why wouldn't you?

If the risk is low and what might occur by virtue of the door being unlocked specifically is not THAT horrendous and the effort of keeping it locked is compounded by people going in and out 20 times a day, you might come to a different decision. At least I did anyway.
JudgementalCactus · 22/10/2021 16:03

@waferingstranger, when you say that what might occur is not THAT horrendous, have you considered rape, kidnapping, assault, murder? Burglary is not the only risk you are taking on.

brokenbiscuitsx · 22/10/2021 16:07

[quote JudgementalCactus]@waferingstranger, when you say that what might occur is not THAT horrendous, have you considered rape, kidnapping, assault, murder? Burglary is not the only risk you are taking on.[/quote]
Yeah I think a strange man entering your house isn’t by accident is it. People don’t just wander into strangers homes (which if the door is not wide open, means trying the handle of a closed door too!) maybe I’m paranoid but I can’t see anything but bad intentions in this scenario.

crosstalk · 22/10/2021 16:17

No to locking when I'm at home. Often forget to when I go out. I know the problems ref insurance etc but it's my choice and risks.

Citylady88 · 22/10/2021 16:21

Door is always locked, and has been since I've lived in cities. In my small rural home town my family leave the door unlocked and ajar in daytime/daylight but it's the kind of place with lots of people at home all day & all the houses on street occupied by the same families for decades

BertramLacey · 22/10/2021 16:27

If the risk is low and what might occur by virtue of the door being unlocked specifically is not THAT horrendous and the effort of keeping it locked is compounded by people going in and out 20 times a day, you might come to a different decision. At least I did anyway.

Well it is kind of the point of risk assessment that you change it when the level and likelihood of risk changes. I'm assuming that if you've got people going in and out a lot, legitimately, then you are not on your own. Although I would say that if you do have people going in and out a lot the chances increase of one of those people not having good intentions, albeit that then the worst thing they're likely to do is walk off with a laptop or phone.

I do live on my own. Even if burglary might fall into the 'not that bad category' I hate the thought of a random person being in my house deciding what to take. Worst case, you're talking about physical violence in a closed space with nobody to help you. So on that basis, I lock my door. YMMV.

VickyEadieofThigh · 22/10/2021 16:27

@patienceandprudence

Maybe I’m not so concerned because we don’t have much to steal. There are 2 TVs, one older than my adult DD, phones which everyone has with them… they can take my bag but good luck getting any money!
At a time when violence against women is being called an "epidemic", any woman leaving her home unlocked is taking serious risks with her own safety and that of any children in it.
Xenia · 22/10/2021 16:28

It seems very risky to me and my parents always locked theirs too when in. It only takes a second to lock it and if you don't and your whole house is burnt to a crisp and you lose everything you ever had and no insurance because you did not turn to lock seems extremely risky and unfair on children who would be left homeless and penniless.

Vix1977 · 22/10/2021 16:30

@patienceandprudence

Inspired by another thread (no prizes for guessing which).

I was surprised that people lock their doors sheen inside the house. Granted, we live in a small house, but it’s in a ‘bad’ area. We never lock our door when someone’s in, except at night if someone remembers. I’d say we leave it unlocked while out a good 30% of the time so if the kids come back or someone drops by to visit they don’t have to wait outside.

In my area this is the norm, and most of the time if you knock you’ll just be called in and told to walk right in next time. We tell anyone the same, even the regular delivery-people know that they can open the door and put the parcel in if it’s open.

Always lock the doors. As soon as I get in, I will lock the door.

You clearly haven't listened to many true crime stories!!!

waferingstranger · 22/10/2021 16:30

[quote JudgementalCactus]@waferingstranger, when you say that what might occur is not THAT horrendous, have you considered rape, kidnapping, assault, murder? Burglary is not the only risk you are taking on.[/quote]
Yeah but when multiple people are in the house, the chance of that is pretty low. Of course it's still possible, but it would likely require a level of determination/planning for which the door being locked or unlocked is probably irrelevant.

waferingstranger · 22/10/2021 16:35

@BertramLacey

If the risk is low and what might occur by virtue of the door being unlocked specifically is not THAT horrendous and the effort of keeping it locked is compounded by people going in and out 20 times a day, you might come to a different decision. At least I did anyway.

Well it is kind of the point of risk assessment that you change it when the level and likelihood of risk changes. I'm assuming that if you've got people going in and out a lot, legitimately, then you are not on your own. Although I would say that if you do have people going in and out a lot the chances increase of one of those people not having good intentions, albeit that then the worst thing they're likely to do is walk off with a laptop or phone.

I do live on my own. Even if burglary might fall into the 'not that bad category' I hate the thought of a random person being in my house deciding what to take. Worst case, you're talking about physical violence in a closed space with nobody to help you. So on that basis, I lock my door. YMMV.

Yes, context is key. A family household living in a small village with a grown man, multiple teenagers and a german shepherd milling about is at much less risk leaving their backdoor unlocked during daylight hours than a woman on her own and/or in a more urban area.

Everyone should assess their own risk accordingly. No point saying the risk is ALWAYS high or NEVER existent.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/10/2021 16:40

Yes, context is key. A family household living in a small village with a grown man, multiple teenagers and a german shepherd milling about is at much less risk leaving their backdoor unlocked during daylight hours than a woman on her own and/or in a more urban area.

This. OH works away a lot. The garden faces the road , but it can be accessible in various ways. The front door to the block of flats is often broken and on a dark, not illuminated alleyway. We're ground floor. Doubt the cat would be much of a deterrent. Often just me and DD at home for weeks on end. Even she makes sure everything is locked before we leave or once we go down for the night. The risk is still not 0, but not making easy either.

limitedperiodonly · 22/10/2021 16:58

My Yale lock was weak and began springing open. It's been changed but I got in the habit of turning the Chubb lock to make sure it didn't happen and it's never left me. Yale locks aren't the most secure anyway.

If my husband comes in after me he's happy to knock to be let in. If we're going to stay in for the rest of the evening we lock the door immediately because it seems pointless to wait until going to bed.

We live in a medium risk area for crime and aren't anxious. I'm not afraid to open the door in the day time if someone knocks unexpectedly. I'd look through the peephole but only once have discovered anyone dodgy. He didn't want to rape and murder me. He was probably a burglar who was checking to see if anyone was at home. I was and he wanted to get away sharpish.

At night I would call out but my husband would do that too - that is sensible for either sex.

Except for the coldest days the back door is open all the time when we're in for ventilation because the back garden is much more secure than the front.

Nodancingshoes · 22/10/2021 17:01

I always lock it now. We live in a quiet cul de sac but a few times delivery people have opened our porch door without ringing the doorbell to drop things off which is actually the front door and I was uncomfortable with that. Once a woman walked right in asking me for directions! Since then I've always locked it

jackstini · 22/10/2021 17:15

Back door unlocked if we're in the garden

All doors locked at night

Front door locked in the day if we're in - neighbour had her cash, cards, phone & car stolen when someone walked in and picked up her handbag off the stairs...

limitedperiodonly · 22/10/2021 17:30

The new Yale has a latch with permanent key in it from the inside that you turn to turn to lock and unlock. The Chubb bolt is also satisfyingly noisy too. It sounds like I'm opening Fort Knox.

The front door swells in the rain. It needs sanding down and repainting with outdoor paint and probably some yacht varnish. We neglected it over the summer and now have to wait for a reliable run of dry weather in the hours when we are in so we can leave it open for the paint to dry. Our organisational skills are not usually that bad.

DH can get it open from the inside even on the bad days but my ladylike hands are too delicate. I have some nylon rope for when he's not around. I twist it round the Yale latch and lurch backwards with all my bodyweight. It works after a few goes.

Someone came round this week. I was expecting him but couldn't open the door. I shouted: "I've unlocked it. Can you give it a good kick?"

I tried to explain but could tell I was not coming over well so just shut up like it was completely normal for someone to have to kick your door in.

Mummyto2rugrats · 22/10/2021 18:21

Controversial. I don't lock if I'm in working and most times in warm weather (sometimes cold days depending how cold)the back door is unlocked and open slightly for the cats to come and go (though GC is lazy and can't be arsed most days to move of the chair!) and sometimes I've forgotten it's open when I've rushed the kids to school. But I always lock the front if I head out or at night just got to remember the back door all the time!

But my other half even if I'm in working always locks it which really frustrates me but also makes me a little panicked about being able to get out especially if there is a fire though I can escape through upstairs windows

PigletJohn · 22/10/2021 19:10

@limitedperiodonly

The new Yale has a latch with permanent key in it from the inside that you turn to turn to lock and unlock. The Chubb bolt is also satisfyingly noisy too. It sounds like I'm opening Fort Knox.

The front door swells in the rain. It needs sanding down and repainting with outdoor paint and probably some yacht varnish. We neglected it over the summer and now have to wait for a reliable run of dry weather in the hours when we are in so we can leave it open for the paint to dry. Our organisational skills are not usually that bad.

DH can get it open from the inside even on the bad days but my ladylike hands are too delicate. I have some nylon rope for when he's not around. I twist it round the Yale latch and lurch backwards with all my bodyweight. It works after a few goes.

Someone came round this week. I was expecting him but couldn't open the door. I shouted: "I've unlocked it. Can you give it a good kick?"

I tried to explain but could tell I was not coming over well so just shut up like it was completely normal for someone to have to kick your door in.

Do you mean there is a thumbturn on the inside?

I think you can get a different one for people with impaired grip.

A photo of the inside will help.

drpet49 · 22/10/2021 19:12

I know someone who was burgled whilst they were in their back garden doing the gardening.