To not understand how people work full-time & have an active social life?

[Redleavesfalling289]

In my early-mid 20s I said yes to pretty much every social invitation. Fast forward to 29 & I just can't get over how exhausted I am after work. My job has a fair amount of deadlines (mostly writing for a living), but I'm usually done between 5:30-6:30 depending on my workload. Then I stumble to the sofa & veg out. My social life kind of died over the pandemic. I do have friends, but most don't live locally. My boyfriend & work people are now my main social contacts. I've just moved house & would love to meet new people, but I cannot fathom how I could possibly gather the energy. I can also easily sleep 12 hours, though most nights I get 7-8 due to work.

It amazes me when I hear about people who work & go out multiple times a week. Fwiw I've had blood tests recently & there's nothing showing. I used to be anemic when younger.

Is this normal at my age or am I old before my time? At weekends my energy levels are much better, but I tend to use the weekends to catch up on washing, take walks & see my partner - so not that conducive to meeting new people!

After 10 years of parenting and a pandemic I wouldn't say I prefer going out to staying in but I'm making much more of an effort to maintain friendships and that obviously involves going out more, usually midweek as kids stuff on weekends. I think it's a 'use it or lose it' situation, if something feels like hard work and you want to get it back, then you might need to work hard for a bit making the effort.

You're certainly not alone, I'm really feeling it too. The enforced separation throughout covid really gave my friendships and family relationships a battering, and sadly some just haven't recovered.

What are you doing at the weekends, could you use some of those to reconnect with people?

You make time. I'm permanently tired as a single parent to two children and a full time job, but I'd also be bored to tears sat on my sofa every night. For me it's a choice I make.

I make time for it,and I have a partner who will pick up the kids, or arrange activities whilst I’m away. Regularly make time for friends and book club

I think energy begets energy – eg if you take up exercise instead of being more tired from the run, you’ll have more energy, and similarly if you get back into the swing of things socially you’ll have more energy for it.

I have not put these theories to the test and I also write all day (I blame writing!) and I am sitting on the sofa. Also, it’s nearly November, not exactly inspiring to go out in.

I think this is unusual for people without kids, unless you have a long commute (but sounds like you wfh?) or a really stressful job. I work similar hours and am out 3-4 evenings a week (not late nights, but drink with colleagues, choir practice, that sort of thing).

How is your diet? Do you get regular exercise?

Honestly it sounds like you have an undiagnosed medical issue. I'm 33, I have a horse who I see before and after work, I ride 5x week, work full time in a busy corporate job and I see my friends/family around 3 evenings a week, usually for food/drink. I also try and fit in 2x non-horsey exercise, e.g. a run/hike/swim etc.

Some people are home birds and just like to chill at home, but it sounds like you want to go out and just don't have energy. I'd go back to the doctors, have you had b12 levels checked? A friend who was previously on a similar schedule to me, started being unable to stay awake for the full day. B12 injections and she is now fine!

That happened me in my late 20s. I was in a stressful job and was thinking about it outside of work.

What helped me was taking a strong multivitamin eg pharmaton, for 10 montgs of the year. A vit d spray and iron, and b vits would be good. Fresh air and a gentle walk at lunch will give more energy. Cut back on coffee and sugary things. A guided medidation app will help you unwind.

I’m the same as Konstantine8364. I think the more you do, the more energy you have. Right off out to meet friends!

OP I'm the same. I fantasise about the sofa and bedtime from around 2pm. For what it's worth I run several evenings a week and I'm still absolutely knackered after work. So it's not always energy begets energy.Tonight I've fallen asleep for an hour after work. Did the same yesterday. I also get 7-8 hours of sleep and take multivits. I think some of us are just absolutely conked out by full time work. Weekends I have slightly more energy.