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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about childcare whilst wfh

73 replies

cadburyegg · 20/10/2021 18:08

I've seen a few posters mention that since they've been working from home they haven't needed to use paid childcare so much.

Lockdowns and school closures aside, I'm just wondering (out of curiosity) as to why this is? Are your kids old enough so they can entertain themselves after school, or is it because you don't have a commute so don't need to factor that in etc etc.

I'm a single mum and wfh indefinitely by the looks of it so I'm trying to get an idea of what childcare needs I might have in the future. My dc are 6 and 3 and I use as much childcare as I did before, but I realise that people with older dc might not need to.

OP posts:
whistleryukon · 20/10/2021 19:31

I just go and pick my 9 year old DC up from school and tell him to read a book/watch TV/do homework until I finish working. Am I fuck paying £10 a night for him to watch TV in after school club.

Caspianberg · 20/10/2021 19:31

For us the advantage of dh working from home is I have another person around to help more. If dh was in office he would be gone 8am-7pm. At home he logs in 9am-6pm with hour lunch. So is around more to have meld together and keep as eye on Ds those gained 2hrs per day.

Dh home office is next to Ds bedroom. So I can put Ds down for a nap, and go do gardening at the bottom of long garden with baby phone knowing I can come In when Ds wakes, but dh will leave his door open be there as soon as he wakes (obviously if dh has no meetings planned). I wouldn’t. Leave Ds alone in house if dh wasn’t there as large garden.

Fetarabbit · 20/10/2021 19:32

For me it's the commute times that make the difference. I start work earlier than I used to as DH can drop him off, and then I'm finished earlier and so can pick him up earlier than we used to- means we pay for a shorter day. When we have had to isolate its been a case of juggling both, but not ideal or sustainable at all.

MeltedCheeseonTop · 20/10/2021 19:33

I don’t now at 13 and 11, but fml I still feel guilty for ignoring them all day during the hols! They don’t mind, but I do!

DeepaBeesKit · 20/10/2021 19:36

Curious to know what age people think is appropriate to wfh after school pick up with kids around in the background?

Where I live y5 & y6 are allowed to walk home from school. This is the age where most people I know (the ones with well behaved kids at least) manage to finish off work without childcare. It works especially well if kids occasionally do a club (football etc) and are only getting in at say 4.30, if you finish at 5.30 it's no big deal for a 10 year old to come in and amuse themselves for an hour. My niece is 11 and just gets home, tidies away her school stuff, makes herself a cup of tea, and then does her homework or some drawing or reads. She's also quite keen on cooking so happy to get the tea started! I remember my mum taught me to make spaghetti bolognese at 10. My 16 year old sister fetched me from school on the way home and I would cook the bolognese while she did her homework and kept an eye! I loved it.

MyCatHatesWhiskas · 20/10/2021 19:37

Again, it’s the commute factor for us. No way could we get work done with our DC around (ages 6 and almost 2). But WFH has allowed us to dispense with the morning wraparound so whoever is WFH takes DC1 to school and drops DC2 in childcare. It’s a much more relaxed start to the morning for the kids (and us).

We have kept the afternoon wraparound for DC1 so collect both kids by 1700. If they were older and more self sufficient, we’d probably do what friends do and pick them up from school, give them a snack, park them on devices and get another hour or so done, then catch up when they’re in bed. But they’re not old enough for that yet.

Nogoodusername · 20/10/2021 19:44

11 year old walks home by herself, I’ll pop down to say hi, and then she has a snack and watches tv (or does homework) until I finish work and make her dinner. I do have after school childcare for the 7 year old

CaptainCorelli · 20/10/2021 19:47

Mine are in year 7 and 10 so they get themselves home and can occupy themselves after school. I can also have the odd day in the holidays when neither of us can get leave where I can leave them to their own devices for a day. I wouldn’t have done that before year 5 though.

Solasum · 20/10/2021 19:51

On WFH days, I time my lunch to school pickup time, which means I have the benefit of 20 minutes of fresh air at the point I am starting to flag in the afternoon. Once DC are home, I no longer need to clock watch to make sure I leave the office in time to pick up, so invariably end up doing much longer than I would have done in the office. Dc old enough to play alone/watch/do homework though, and much prefer to be at home than at after school club

Stompythedinosaur · 20/10/2021 19:53

@ChocolateLover2000

Curious to know what age people think is appropriate to wfh after school pick up with kids around in the background? Mine are 7 and 4 and I wouldn't do it yet except in a total emergency.
My youngest had just turned 7 when lockdown one kicked off and managed fine. Maybe 5-6 ish if only for an hour or two?

In truth, I'd never have considered it before lockdown, but in fact they were OK left for 3-4 hour stints as long as they knew where to find a parent in lockdown 1 at 7yo and 8yo. It wasn't an ideal situation, obviously.

DuggeeHugs · 20/10/2021 19:54

Now we're both wfh, DH and I have adjusted our work patterns so one of us sorts the kids in the morning while the other parent works and the other does pick-up and after school looking after while the morning parent works. DC are 6 and 4.

It also helps that my employers are very flexible about when I do my work, so if I'm up in the night (insomnia) and want to knock a couple of hours off my day by working at 3am, that's fine.

Happyhappyday · 20/10/2021 19:57

Commute for both of us, although we’ve actually kept our nanny’s hours the same (so she gets full time still) & because frankly it makes our lives easier to have her 40 hours still. That said, we already staggered our working ours so were only using 40 hours before with two full time working parents.

MollysMummy2010 · 20/10/2021 19:59

I was thankful that my daughter was nearly ten at first lockdown. No way I could have wfh at a younger age and her childminder closed.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/10/2021 20:00

Curious to know what age people think is appropriate to wfh after school pick up with kids around in the background?

I think primary school age, or at the youngest 10-11, is too young to do it regularly. It’s just a bit unfair on them. 7/8-10 is ok on occasion, depending on the child and their needs.

TheGriffle · 20/10/2021 20:04

Mine are 8 and 4 and are just about manageable now for the 1.5 hours after school when we are working.
Dh and I are both working from home though and both work on flexi time so we share drop offs and pick ups. I work part time as well 2.5 days a week so only have 2 days after school where I work from the sofa. The kids either watch tv or play in the garden sometimes with a friend or 2 from down the street will come and play as well.

We are struggling this half term and have had to work from home with them both as our childcare fell through due to positive cases in staff after the first day. They’ve probably gone a bit feral from 2 days of us throwing them snacks and too much screen time but we didn’t have a choice!

When they were both at home during lockdown at 7 & 3 and we were working though it was hell. Very very hard work so like previous posters, the hour and a bit after school is a walk in the park compared to the months of lockdown with them.

FlamingoYellow · 20/10/2021 20:06

My employer turns a blind eye to us having dcs at home while we work but that is because our work is constantly audited and we have daily targets we have to meet. We showed during covid that we could all wfh effectively with our kids around so it's not a problem.

Mine are 7 and 5. I usually start work at 6 and get loads done until they get up at 7.30, then I take a break to get their breakfasts sorted, nag them to get dressed and sort their packed lunches. I go back to work around 8ish while they watch TV for half an hour. Their dad takes them to school and then I finish work at 3pm so I can pick them up. They hated breakfast and after school club so this is a million times better for everyone and I love having my afternoons free to spend quality time with them.

I have wfh full time with them a few times when they were covid contacts (before the rules changed) and it was doable but not something I would want to do on a regular basis!

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2021 20:11

I've wfh since before my dd was born. We had a nanny and I continued to work full time until she was school age, and then I dropped to half time so that my work fitted into her school day (with spare for me to get back from the school in the morning and pick her up again in the evening). We managed school holidays with a combination of our annual leave and holiday clubs (fortunately her primary school ran good ones). I could have gone back to full time when she got to secondary age but preferred the work life balance of continuing part time.

piscis · 20/10/2021 20:18

Unless you have a very very relaxed job without any meetings and your kids are old enough, I don't see how you can work without childcare!
My 4 year old DD started reception late in September and we had to have sitters coming for at least 5 hours at home every day until she started school, we had to work and we couldn't have her in front of the TV for hours every day for 3 weeks!

Bunnycat101 · 20/10/2021 20:21

For us it has meant no breakfast club as can do school run and start by 9. It also means I can get away with the odd day for my 5yo working while she’s mushing around the house. I wouldn’t do it on a regular basis as I don’t think it is good for them. I still do nursery for my youngest and after school care for the eldest. I don’t think anyone should be trying to do a day’s work with an under 5 in the house. It’s not safe and I wouldn’t agree it as a manager after my lockdown experience.

CrabbyCat · 20/10/2021 20:26

How old they need to be definitely depends on how long it's for. I did an hour regularly with DC1 aged 6 last school year. The after school club wasn't running (covid) so we had no choice. He sat in the office with me, supplied with snacks, and watched videos on a tablet. It was absolutely fine, they are knackered after a day at school and happy to tune out. Doing a full day with him at home in lockdown 3 definitely wasn't something I'd want to repeat however, so I certainly wouldn't do it as an alternative to holiday childcare.

I've also worked with DC2 aged 4 with me at home, when we've had to self isolate. 30 minutes is about her limit of doing an activity quietly before she gets bored and wants to come and watch whatever I'm doing.

SparklyGlasses · 20/10/2021 20:30

I've found from DS has been aged 8/9 it's possible to work from home (ish). So I can get some time in after school (he's happy to be on screens then!) or a semi ok day from home. It's just things like lunch, snacks, questions, "I'm bored" etc that can creep in so it's never the same as a day completely focusing on work.

gwenneh · 20/10/2021 20:36

We no longer have to use wraparound care, so no breakfast or after school clubs and that saves us pretty significant amounts. DD also has a part time spot at nursery, DH and I each take one day per week to look after her while WFH.

Far from this being against my contract, it was the CEOs suggestion. However she is also the one who suggested that instead of using the after school club I could do the school run and then bring the DC to the office for a snack and homework time while I wrapped up the day.

waterrat · 20/10/2021 20:44

As I don't have to commute or work set hours quite so much due to not being in the office I use less after school care.

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