To want to be at home?

[M24L]

10 weeks PP at about 3 weeks PP I rolled over in bed and felt something pop since then I've had pain in my right hip area which as gotten progressively worse.

Seen GP who prescribed paracetamol due to BF which barley even touched the pain, a week later GP prescribed medicated plasters still no joy.

Attended physio and GP prescribed dihydrocodeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen and again still nothing touched the pain. A week later I went back to physio now on crutches with a back belt and I was sent to another hospital to attend orthopedics.

Attended the other hospital and was advised to stay in for an MRI I declined as I'm BF and DD was only 9 weeks so I asked if I could get an MRI done as an outpatient instead.

While waiting on the appointment I've gotten progressively worse unable to make it to the toilet with is downstairs so I've been using a commode in th bedroom. Spoke to HV as I was physically unable to get out of bed and she said to get to hospital.

Attended the hospital and had an MRI which has confirmed that I have 2 slipped disks and doctor has advised that I stay in hospital until we can manage the pain also stating that it needs to heal on its own.

I have DD 9 and DD 10 weeks old at home. AIBU to want to go home and just do what I've been doing (complete bedrest) as I can't see how staying in hospital is going to change the pain etc?

No visitors allowed in hospital either meaning I won't be able to see my kids and doctor said it can take up to 3 months to heal.

I'm heartbroken and feel like I want to sign myself out but DH is adamant I stay in and get better for both kids sakes.

YABU - It's not fair to rely on others at home because your unable to get out of bed.

YANBU - understandably you would rather be in pain in the comfort of your own house than being in hospital

I think you need to stay in. They’ll probably offer you stronger pain relief options as an inpatient. Plus it’s been such a long time and things have got progressively worse with you being at home not better.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be being away from you DDs though. You really do have my sympathy.

That must be so difficult but being at home not getting better makes no sense. Your children arnt benefiting from you being unable to even use a toilet and being in so much pain, you need to stay in hospital in the short term to benefit you all in the long term. Hopefully it will just be for a few days

As tough as it is it’s really not worth taking risks with your back.

Ah I can’t bring myself to vote.
Of course you want to be at home BUT you have to stay in hospital to get better and get the best possible outcome to allow you back to your family.
I hope you get better/ get the pain managed soon.

Would your dh be able to take care of you and the kids? It sound very difficult. I would stay in hospital.

Hope you get better sharpish

Are you EBF? You should be able to speak to a lactation midwife at the hospital to discuss how to continue breastfeeding. Please contact PALS if no one on your ward can get you in touch with a lactation midwife as the hospital have a duty to facilitate this.

@BingBongToTheMoon @WorriedGiraffe @Sirzy @WillYouDoTheFandango @pelosi

Thank you all for your messages. Being at home wasn't helping and I sadly can't see being here helping either, I was given morphine but that doesn't even touch the pain either.

I'm so heartbroken I'm never away from DD9 unless it's school or work nor new baby.

With their being no visitors I'm going to struggle really badly with not being able to breastfeed DD2.

DH was coming home from work and dealing with us all, baby had everything as i always made sure there was plenty of nappies and wipes before DH left for work and milk is on tap with BF so baby was always OK, DD9 was having to be a bit more independent when DH was at work but when he was coming home he was doing dinners and baths then doing anything else like cleaning, washings etc.

Me being at home meant he could still go to work but me being in here means he can't as he now has to be at home full time with baby.

@Soontobeoutnumbered3 yeah I am, my health visitor contacted maternity to see what they could do and they said they were able to get a pump for me to pump and DD to be given expressed milk. Currently waiting to see if DDs will be allowed in for visits so I could still BF at some points but I'm not holding out much hope tbh 😭😭

You will be far more likely to get on top of the pain and recover faster if you are in hospital rather than taking care of a newborn at home alone, that’s just a fact OP. I really do feel for you but you need to be responsible here for the sake of your health and your children. Push for visits though and like someone else suggested contact PALS, it’s crazy that they arnt allowing children to visit, especially breast feeding babies. I really hope you start to feel better soon, it must be a nightmare. And remember it’s not all or nothing, if you agree to stay in you can still change your mind and discharge yourself whenever you want.

This may sound harsh but it is meant kindly.
YABU, you need to stay in. You have already had the opportunity to decide for yourself and, with respect, made a poor decision. You'd been in a great deal of pain for 6 weeks but turned down an MRI, choosing to go home and get worse. A subsequent MRI was successfully in diagnosing the problem.
Follow the doctors advice. You are in the right place to deal with this. 'Doing nothing' would be virtually impossible to stick to at home with your instincts towards your babies kicking in.
I know you are sad to be away from them but sometimes life is a bit shit. You are not well enough to care for them.

BTW they will be absolutely fine. I was hospitalised a couple of times with cancer treatment when my youngest was a baby. Heartbreaking for me but she had no long lasting effects because of it.

Hope you get well soon 💐

@WorriedGiraffe to be fair I did sleep good last night and I think its down to knowing I didn't have baby beside me as normally at home I'm up checking on her constantly (she sleeps through the night) I've asked about visits again and they said it may be possible if im given a side room but they aren't available at the moment. I've also asked about being transferred to my local hospital as they are allowing visits so I've to wait and speak to the physio today to see what they say. Fingers crossed 🤞 if I can't get kids up here then hopefully I'm transferred.

@tobedtoMNandfart oh god I'm really sorry to hear that I hope your OK? I think its more the whole EFB part that's getting to me the most my DD9 is so understanding and she even said before that she thinks I need to come to hospital for a while and she loves a face time so she's in her element she's slightly upset that she can't cuddle me but she's being brave 💖

In the nicest way possible, YABU.

It will be much harder being at home with the kids and not being able to get out of bed. You don’t want to prolong your healing or risk further damage.

Crossed fingers for you that you can get a transfer to local. Is there a breast feeding support person at the hospital? (Can’t think of what the actual title is!) maybe they can help with getting a side room to enable visits and a hospital breast pump if you want to express for baby?

Hope you are healed and home soon

Disc prolapse is unfortunately one of my areas of ( non professional) expertise. It’s really unusual for a hospital to keep you in UNLESS there’s signs of cauda equina syndrome which no doubt they’ve mentioned. Nerve damage in that situation can be permanent. It’s just not something you fuck around with.

I’m so sorry you are in this situation but be glad they are taking this seriously and try to enjoy the rest.

Get well soon.