AIBU to ask if this could be genital herpes?

[Thisisunpleasant]

I've name changed for this, for obvious reasons.

A week ago, my clitoris felt really swollen and painful. The lymphs in my groin felt a bit swollen too. I couldn't see anything on my clitoris at all - and I looked hard. Then, a couple of days later, I saw a bump but no pus or anything, although it must have opened as when I looked a couple of days after that, it looked a little scabby. I just assumed it was a spot that had burst or I had scratched it. Now, there's just a tiny white patch. No pain, nothing.

But today, I realised that a couple of weeks ago, DP and I had oral sex. DP gets cold sores, herpes 1. He felt one coming, but completely covered the area with a plaster first. We've been together 21 years, by the way, and have been super careful all this time.

Am I right in thinking I might have had a herpes outbreak?

It's possible, yes. If you want to find out, you can see your GP, or if that feels intimidating you can go to a GUM clinic. I think I'm right in saying that they can only test for it if you're actively having an outbreak, so you'll want to go soon, otherwise they won't be able to test (though I don't know if that's true).

From having talked to quite a lot of people who have it, the only real issue is the stigma. It's obviously not something you'd actively try to contract, but in the grand scheme of things it's not going to do you any major harm. I think you're supposed to avoid sex during an outbreak for obvious reasons, but I've always heard that you're very unlikely to pass it on during a non outbreak time. Plus your husband probably has some natural resilience to it because he gets coldsores.

I hope you're doing all right - it sounds like a stressful experience. Please try not to feel anything more negative than you would with any kind of non sexual infection.

Sounds like it. It's very common. You need to go to the gum clinic when you have an outbreak and let them see it

Thanks both. I'm going to the clinic. I do feel a bit rubbish about it, if I'm honest.

Sounds like it is yes!

I definitely wouldn't risk any kissing or anything like that if I felt a cold sore coming on! They are so easily spread.

@MilkywayMonarch22

Thanks for the hindsight! As I said, we've been together a long time and we've been super careful.

Sorry if that came across snarky! Typing quick while bf and hindsight is great isn't it !
What I meant is that even being careful with cold sores it's hard to know exactly where they will pop up so ime if we even feel so much as a hint of it we don't go there. But yes, not much help now that it's already happened!!!! Hope it heals up quickly for you

A positive for you- it seems when it’s type 1 from the mouth it seems to reoccur less in the genitals. You may well, especially if this is all you have from a first infection, go on to be asymptotic or have very mild and outbreaks. In 16 years I’ve had 3/4 mild outbreaks, and only during illness

I'm the same. In 37 years, i've had 3/4 incidents of mild itching which only lasted a day or so. It may not even be herpes. So you've got nothing really to worry about.

Thank you, that's really reassuring

If it is. Get aciclovir tablets from gp. Take a whole pack according to instructions, then have a pack on hand to start whenever you feel one coming on. Get your partner to do the same. Not all gps will prescribe but they are an absolute godsend.

Yes
Sounds like it , to be honest
And - it’s not the end of the world

Just for anybody else reading - the saliva contains the virus, not just from direct contact with the sore. So do avoid oral sex, kissing sharing cutlery, glassware and lipbalms etc if you or your partner is aware of a coldsore starting. They take about a week to heal fully and you need to wait until it has fully healed.

Unfortunately you are often contagious just before any symptoms.

L lysine supplements can help speed up healing for this type of herpes. I hope you recover quickly, OP, and are not in too much discomfort.

Hi, well it's likely that it is herpes. I went to the sexual health clinic. There was nothing they could do for me now, but they've given me some antivirals to take next time.

It's been about 2 weeks since I noticed it. The blister has healed, nothing is there. But the area still feels really sore, a bit painful. Is that normal, this long after?