To think this comment was stupid

[abeanbaked]

I tried a new hairdresser yesterday, first time ever speaking to this man and I dropped into conversation that I had a baby not so long ago when speaking about the condition of my mop. There was another girl in the salon and she sort of grimaced and said that it must've been so painful and if she ever does it it will have to be a c section. I told them I did have a c section and yes, it was still bloody painful. The hairdresser then said 'oh too posh to push, love it!' I was a bit shocked and told them that I wanted to push but I had a big APH and it was an emergency, that a surgeon cutting you open and pulling a child from your abdomen isn't easy, either. I wasn't rude and I didn't think about how stupid that remark was until I left. Through out the visit he came across as one of these people who you would take everything with a pinch of salt from and he just likes an audience to shock. AIBU to this this was a really shitty thing to say?

Well people just say shit like that because they’re ignorant and have no idea. It’s okay to calmly set them right, in my opinion.

Ignore. You are right that he probably likes an audience. He’s heard the phrase and hasn’t given it much thought. He’s your hairdresser not confidante.

And I had my own version last week when a lady in the park commented I was one of these ‘modern types’ for getting DS on the bottle so young. I didn’t have a choice! I had a severe infection and couldn’t breastfeed, so I expressed from day two and he lost the hang of latching after that and I felt too crappy to persevere. I don’t care how he’s fed and nor should she but it was a weird thing to comment on.

He probably just thought it was an amusing and 'cool' thing to say. You told him how it really was, so all good IMO.

A man said that? What a doink. He probably thought he was being very witty... next time go armed with Willy jokes...

I had a emergency c section and myself I say the joke ‘to posh to push’.
It’s just a phrase they have heard. Don’t take it personally

Very inappropriate from someone you don't know.

Honestly, I've had 2 c sections have lost count how many times I've been told I was too posh to push. Including from my mil. People have no idea what it's like to have a c-section until you've been through it!

Oh it’s just a flippant saying, get over it. it was mildly funny when someone said it for the first time back in the 90s, probably.

Are you quite a touchy person usually or is this an off day?

It's absolutely not a flippant thing to say or a joke. Emergency sections are not a walk in the park. I was massively traumatised after mine and anyone who would have told me within the first year or so that I had been too posh to push would probably have had a sobbing wreck on their hands.

OP, just don't go back. Clearly he's an idiot.

@DarlingFell not usually touchy, just felt it was really stupid to say to a client you've only just met

It reads as though he was a performance hairdresser, the type that loves a shock, totes hilaire comment to gee up the clientele. Some people love all that, but It wasn't your cup of tea, so don't go back.

@TSSDNCOP your right, I felt exhausted when I came out, I'd had so many stories and jokes and dramas it was all too much!

I think it was just a flippant response that he wouldn’t give a second thought to, however I would also be annoyed at the inference and assumption that he was making. I got the same comment from my MIL after my c-section (my baby was transverse and so no other option, not that you ever need to justify it) and also ‘do you feel like you’ve missed out not having given birth?’

Ime those who haven't had dc can come out with some corkers regarding childbirth and child rearing...

I think it was a mindless remark from someone who has to make conversation all day. It hit a nerve with because you obviously had a difficult birth, which is understandable.

I don't think any judgement was intended.

Fuck me, massive abdominal surgery as an " easy" choice . Some people are just plain stupid.

I'm sure he didn't intend to be unpleasant, and it was entirely a matter of a not particularly intelligent man thinking 'What quip can I produce about c-sections?' and parroting a dimwit catchphrase whose unpleasantness he hasn't thought about.

If he had thought about it, anyone with two brain cells to rub together would surely recognise that it's a way of implying that 'c-section by maternal request' is somehow a bit silly and princessy. Imagine, women having a say in the way they give birth to their babies. The very idea.

I'm not remotely touchy about my CS, which saved my life and my son's, and left me very grateful for obstetric medicine, but I have been gobsmacked by the number of people some of them women who have told me I 'didn't give birth'.

"Too posh to have my first-born child die stuck in my vaginal canal more like ha ha" is what I would like to think I would say but I would just smile awkwardly instead and never ever have my hair cut there again.

What a twat. It’s a stupid and offensive comment for anyone to make, but for a man to come out with it? Someone who has never and will never give birth. I’d have been annoyed too. Don’t give him your custom again!

Some people just open their mouth and let the wind waggle their tongue. Don't give it another thought.

I agree that the comment was stupid and I wouldn't go there again. When my Dad told me that I'd been "too posh to push" after my planned section with DS2 I cried and cried. Now I can look back and think what a fool he was, but at the time I was sleep deprived and depressed.
The hairdresser sounds like an ignorant fool.
Just go somewhere else.

Too posh to push? People don’t realise that having a Caesar is surgery? It’s major surgery.

They are totally minimizing the recovery of a Caesar and assuming women slip out after having one, or that it is down for the woman’s convenience is a really inaccurate view. It’s major surgery so I don’t know where this idea comes from.