2FT job and after school care....how?

[fhgr308090]

How on earth are people with FT jobs meant to manage with school aged kids. Ok this might sound stupid. Until now DT were both in nursery four days a week 8.30 till 5.30. We both work FT and whilst I might be able to do the drop offs, there is no way that we can pick them up as we live and work in London with a min.1hr commute. Cant go p/t as my job does work that way and DH's wont get it as he's the man.

Everyone tells me that kids hate after schools clubs when they are still little (which I get, four-year-olds thrown in a room with bigger kids doesnt seem like a welcoming environment). How does everyone else manage? Just checked and school finishes at 3.15 and then what? We've only just moved to a new area so dont have any local parents to ask. How do you plan the week if you both work FT. I thought nursery drop offs and pick ups were hard but what do people do with reception aged kids?

We use after school club 3 nights a week, it’s fine. We specifically picked a school that has good provision. It costs £10 per day including a snack snd we can pay using tax free childcare. After school nannies are available or childminders, but it works out more expensive.

Thank you, everyone. So would everyone suggest that we start looking already for next year or is that too early?

@BurntO - there simply arent any childminders in central London - so most kids either get picked up by nannies, mums or go private so their school day is longer.

How did everyone go about finding a local childminder

join your local Facebook groups and ask - there may be a childminder network as there is in my area; there was also a website called carers or something similar where they were all listed. It does help to know the primary school but you can see who may have availability for what school. I don't think I arranged anything until I had a school place confirmed. I would have used an after-school club if there had been one available.

Similar situation - made worse by the fact that DD had gone to creche near DH and my offices in the city centre (which suited us all at the time) so I wasn't already in the local network near home for such matters.

We did the rounds of afterschool clubs coming up to her starting school, to see the facilities and hear about their programme - all collected from a range of local schools by car, fed the DCs a hot meal, organised homework and had a mix of activities with them until 6ish. Some had the reception years kept separate to the older DCs, and the much older ones tended to fade away about age 10-12 so there was only a handful of those, and there were some activities they all did but others only for younger/older DCs. Time in the garden and just playing independently as well was also part of it. And most had additional activities you could sign up for (and pay) with external instructors coming in for those every week (music, drama, sport etc).

Her school started at 8.30am, unusually, so 1 of us could leave at normal commuting time and the other do the school run and go from there.

We signed her up to the ASC we felt suited us best, which collected her and a few others, and also had a good few from other local schools. I could collect from there up to 6.30pm.

Later on, the ASC run by the PTA in our school improved, to the point that it wasn't just for reception DCs for the hour until older DCs finished school, but a full ASC offering. And as the PTA also ran a very good extra-curriculars programme in school (paid activities but a very wide range and available 4 afternoons a week, the 5th being for any faith instruction as it was a non-denominational school), but external ASCs couldn't collect at times other than regular school finishing times, DD started doing ECAs in school and then going to the ASC in school until I collected her there (latest finishing time 6pm). Main difference being no car journey anymore, but only snack rather than hot meal (toast and jam, chopped fruit, occasionally beans on toast or warm soup - but not a "dinner" like the other ASCs offered - but also once ECAs were finished around 4pm rather than as soon as school finished at 2pm) - still organised homework and did activities/crafts and allowed the DCs out to play in the school yard etc.

Ask school office if they know any ASCs, especially any that are already collecting pupils from the school, to go and see. It's a reality of working life with primary school-age DCs.

There will be childminders - not everyone can afford nannies or private school fees!

Cant go p/t as my job does work that way and DH's wont get it as he's the man

won't get or won't ask? My DH asked and got back in 2007! He works for a Magic Circle law firm in the CIty!

We only looked at the ASCs in the last few months before starting school (possibly late summer term, or else over the summer holidays - it was 12 years ago now sorry). But it was a case of weeks not months and months before DD started school, and that seemed to be the norm.

Mine love after school club.

oh also and DH's wont get it as he's the man Fuck that! Between us DH and I have had equal time off/early leaving for sick DS's and yes, his boss did once ask why my job was more important than his, to be told it's not - they're both as important as each other which is why we share the load!

One thing I would say about ASC is you still have to give them dinner

This definitely varies by school, round here the infants & junior school both provide tea do it's worth checking your potential schools.

I'd definitely think about it now, especially if it might influence which schools you apply for

Also you know your own child, I made the mistake of going up to FT from finishing at 3 everyday. I was completely ignoring the signs that my DD doesn't adapt well to change and chaotic busy settings and here we are, she hates afterschool club and I am teetering on the edge with work. My ds would probably be alright being left in a room full of alligators as long as it had a good puzzle selection and squash on tap.

Breakfast and after school clubs.

we do me finishing early twice a week, DH finishing early once a week and 2 days of after school club.

We used a childminder before and after school. I preferred that they were in a home environment as they were tired. In truth, their childminder's house is really their home away from home.

As they've got older there is also an element of them understanding that they sometimes have to go to afterschool club as we are at work - helping them link that to being able to afford the things we need as a family.

DD in after school club and breakfast club 4 days a week. She loves it. The club is fantastic (and rated so by ofsted). They group the kids by age/ability in an informal way using different activities and areas or rooms. At £18.50 a day it is so much cheaper than nursery.

In our area the after school clubs go full day for the holidays as well so worth keeping an eye on that too.

A mix of ASC and using the flexibility we both have with hours to cover drop offs/pick ups. We are fortunate in both having a bit of flexibility with hours and that helps, especially with drop off and WFH (school is a very short walk from home). Otherwise they do a fair bit of ASC and I'm afraid that they do complain sometimes but as I remind them, that's just how it goes when both parents work FT. They benefit in lots of other ways from that, so I try not to feel too guilty.

I really try not to feel too guilty about the nursery but they seem to love it. Fingers crossed it will be the same with ASCs or a childminder. Are most ASCs run by the local school or are there others? How far in advance do you have to sign them up?

I appreciate that these question probably sound rather naive but I am only just beginning to get my head around this whole school business.

We will try to tag team some of the mornings and after school pick ups, but it's just not realistic that we would be able to do all of them. So we'd have to find something for at least two if not three afternoons a week. We're lucky in so far as between both of us we should be abel to do most of the mornings. DH is absolutely happy to share but we cant really afford for either of us to go p/t - so we'll just have to manage

I’m lucky that I do work part time, but I use breakfast club in the mornings and have used a childminder in the past as well. Our kids school has an after school club but really limited places (30 places for a school of 250), and there are none here that collect kids and take them elsewhere, so it’s either be lucky with an after school club place or use a childminder, and places are not easy to get especially as you’ll need 2 - many have spaces filled up from those whose kids have been with them from 0-5 and their school-age siblings. I’d definitely look at childminders now via childcare.co.uk or Facebook to get an idea of who drops off/collects from what school, and who may have spaces. They will not mind having a chat about it at this stage at all! Bear in mind some childminders do only work term time so make sure you ask.
I bet there will be some nannies in the area too, and some will happily do just after school - you can put feelers out for that now too.

You have to adapt your working hours. One do an early start/finish and the other later. Works for us.

DH and I flex. He does some morning drops while I start work early so that I finish early to collect (wfh). Then I do 2 longer days in london where we use a childminder

Who runs the breakfast and Afterschool club varies. Have you visited the school you hope to send dc to? Do they say that they have space? Where I used to live there were 2-3 year waiting lists for a space at these clubs.
Where I currently live the ASC is massively underused, school run it and it's subsidised. Don't know why more don't use it!

We use a childminder for both pick up and drop off. I prefer it to the after school club because of the same worry you have. And I prefer a home from home environment. Childminder also take care of the holidays too so I don't have to book a holiday club.

Both my children when at primary school age went to ASC (now 12 & 18) the younger one would be annoyed when she used to go of i picked her up early! Nothing special about the ASC but they enjoy going!
Holidays I had to make a bit more effort for the younger one (older one was happy to go to a local sport centre type one as her friend went and she got to go swimming was a lot cheaper) the younger one didn’t like the one at school as it was boring so she went to a drama or film camp type one more expensive but she loved it.

After school club. My kids always loved it. We never had that "tired" stage everyone bangs on about with reception, my boys were still bouncing after a full day of school, breakfast and after school club. So much so we started football etc the same term assuming we'd have to wait. Perhaps if they go to nursery full time they just get used to it.

My son hates it now. But he's at that awkward age where he's not old enough to get home on his own (not walking distance) but too old for the club's activities. He's ready for high school!

Where I live there's a mix of school-run after school clubs, nurseries that pick up from a list of schools (up to age 8) and stand-alone after school clubs that pick up from a different list of schools. I think you'll have to ask.

How good an idea do you have about which school they are likely to end up at? If it'll be one of two or three, I'd start asking around now. It might well be a key factor in your order of preference!

Also check out school breakfast clubs. You might find that even if you are able to flex to do drop off, having that extra little bit of time in the morning might mean less flex needed somewhere else.