To be tee total for no real reason

[itsme189]

I'm in my twenties, married, bought a house etc so I am a lot more settled down than a lot of my friends. They are still living with friends going out getting wasted etc. Not that either way is better i'm the odd one out haha!

I used to go out and drink maybe once a month and get drunk but I have never been like black out drunk or sick etc.

I never drink at home I just don't like it, tend to drive to a lot of events as I like to be able to leave whenever I want. The only times I drink are when I go out with friends and they regularly want to do bottomless brunch etc.

Since lockdown I just don't like it anymore it gives me a headache and a really dry throat (weird). I can have as much fun or more without drinking. I know that if they pressure me they aren't my friends etc. But I worry that I will just stop being invited to things drinking things. I enjoy going out, going to brunch etc just not the drink. Would you still invite someone who doesn't drink on nights out etc?

I'm very fond of wine, but one of my longest-standing friends (20+ years) doesn't drink, and hasn't since before we met at university.

No 'reason' - she's not a recovering alcoholic, no trauma, no childhood abuse etc, she just doesn't like it, in the same way that I don't like okra or music festivals.

It's always been fine (well, she doesn't understand my not liking music festivals, but you get the jist).

I don't understand how it can't be appealing to you if you've never tried it? Not even a sip of wine? It doesn't taste like any other drink. You might really like it.

There are lots of things I've never done which aren't appealing to me. Try it, you might like it is not something we should be saying to people.

The report which said that a little alcohol is better than being tea total is based on a flawed experiment with too many confounding variables.

Why do people have to drink alcohol?

We don’t have to consume any other food or drink do we?

I’ve never drank alcohol and never cared what anyone thought about it. It’s no one’s business but mine.

It's entirely up to you whether you drink or not! If your friends object, then they are not your friends.

I can see a problem if you "have just one" & trying to cut back when mixing with friends who knew you before who WILL encourage you by saying something like "its only one" if they regard drinking as a social stimulus & glue. & you will find yourself slipping back into steady drinking again. Can you maintain the discipline of only drinking occasionally & small amounts with your friends?
I think while your group will try to undermine your aim if you say "none" it might be easier & they will grow use to it & you will still have fun (as pp who changed into teetotallers have said) without the after affects. Its easier to say NO none than just one & stick with it - at least in the beginning)

@Anonymous48 octopus has also never appealed to me, or cigarettes, or pistachio ice cream. I could like any of those, or alcohol, but I’ve simply never wanted to try it so why would I?

I'm 31 and went teetotal over 5 years ago. I absolutely love it and feel great.

(ps before I married I did enjoy socializing with alcohol its been decades of teetotalism & I don't miss it - if I had to give up tea however )
There are masses of alternatives these days

Alcohol in small quantities isn't harmful and can even have a positive affect on your health. The same can't be said for cigarettes or crack.

People can find benefits or harmful consequences, or both, in absolutely anything. My main reason for not drinking alcohol isn’t because it’s harmful.

I’ve also never tried painting my nails and that’s definitely not a harmful activity, yet no one criticises me for it? Or asks me to ‘try it, you might like it’.

Can you maintain the discipline of only drinking occasionally & small amounts with your friends?

Why should she? Is everyone missing that OP does not want to drink?

I think it's slightly odd to say that you don't drink for no reason. You have perfectly good reasons: you don't like it and it gives you headaches and a dry throat. They sound like good reasons to me!

I haven't drunk for about 40 years (other than the occasional sip of champagne at weddings, and lots of brandy in my brandy butter at Christmas). I don't like it either.

I'm not aware that I've ever missed out on nights out etc anyone, but then I've never really had friends who are big drinkers.

[quote EileenGC]@Anonymous48 octopus has also never appealed to me, or cigarettes, or pistachio ice cream. I could like any of those, or alcohol, but I’ve simply never wanted to try it so why would I?[/quote]
I guess we're different then. I've never tried cigarettes because they're so bad for you and I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke. Octopus? Yes, I've tried it and I don't care for it. But I wouldn't have known unless I tried it. Pistachio ice cream? I don't know that I've ever had the chance to try it. I probably wouldn't like it because I don't like pistachios, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try it. I just can't understand point blank not wanting to try something or not being curious what it tastes like when it's something that many people obviously enjoy.

@EileenGC

Alcohol in small quantities isn't harmful and can even have a positive affect on your health. The same can't be said for cigarettes or crack.

People can find benefits or harmful consequences, or both, in absolutely anything. My main reason for not drinking alcohol isn’t because it’s harmful.

I’ve also never tried painting my nails and that’s definitely not a harmful activity, yet no one criticises me for it? Or asks me to ‘try it, you might like it’.

Again, that's completely different. You know what painting your nails would be like even if you've never done it. You don't know what taking a sip of merlot would be like if you never have. Fair enough if you have other reasons for not wanting to, but just "it's never appealed to me" doesn't make sense because you can't know without trying.

I'm tee total too. I stopped drinking when I became of age to drink tbh. No real reason why I stopped I just did once it wasn't an issue to go in any pub and order drinks. It was a bit of a laugh aged 14 plus. I never think about drinking, if I'm out I have a soft drink, I think I've done that for so long nobody ever thinks to question it.

I guess we're different then.

There's you answer then. PP doesn't want to which is perfectly valid.

@MargaretFaffter

Sorry that should say not unreasonable!

Well I was going to agree with you but not now! :p

You know what painting your nails would be like even if you've never done it. You don't know what taking a sip of merlot would be like if you never have.

Just using your argument here, but how would I know what it’d be like, if I’ve never tried doing my nails?? Can’t you see you’re using a contradiction to explain this? It makes no sense.

I’ve tried plenty of foods and drinks and experiences I didn’t think I’d like at first. I just gave some examples of things I didn’t want to try. Because that’s what ‘does not appeal’ means. It means I have no desire to try it.

Some people are more or less curious than others, and in different areas of their lives. If you can’t understand that then I can’t help. Oh and alcohol IS harmful, even in small quantities, regardless of how many people enjoy it or not.

@slashlover I was trying to state as an argument against drinking at all - not suggesting she continues to drink! Basically BECAUSE so many pp saying she should/could continue to drink a little & because than she might find herself pressurized into more

If you don't make a big deal out of it no one else will. I very rarely drink and if I do it's usually expensive cocktails that aren't served everywhere anyway. Just get a soft drink or mocktail instead.

You do you hun

@EileenGC

You know what painting your nails would be like even if you've never done it. You don't know what taking a sip of merlot would be like if you never have.

Just using your argument here, but how would I know what it’d be like, if I’ve never tried doing my nails?? Can’t you see you’re using a contradiction to explain this? It makes no sense.

I’ve tried plenty of foods and drinks and experiences I didn’t think I’d like at first. I just gave some examples of things I didn’t want to try. Because that’s what ‘does not appeal’ means. It means I have no desire to try it.

Some people are more or less curious than others, and in different areas of their lives. If you can’t understand that then I can’t help. Oh and alcohol IS harmful, even in small quantities, regardless of how many people enjoy it or not.

You've seen people with painted nails! You know what the end result would be like! You can't know what wine would taste like if you've never tasted it.

We are going to have to agree to disagree, because I don't believe that it is possible for something not to appeal to you if you don't know anything about what it is like. There has to be a reason for something not to appeal to you. The way it looks? The smell? Your belief that small amounts are harmful?