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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some parents at DTS 's nursery are being unreasonable?

183 replies

spokette · 10/12/2007 11:40

Some parents at the nursery that my DTS attend are complaining about the nursery being closed on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. They were informed about this in November.

This morning whilst I was signing the boys in, a mother with her 10 month old daughter complained that the nursery should provide the service for those who wanted it. One of the nursery staff quite rightly pointed out that they too have their own families and needed the time to prepare/shop etc.

I was gobsmacked. The nursery will be closed for the afternoon of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. The staff work really hard and deserve a break.

I understand that some parents have to work but they have known about this for a while and it is up to them to make alternative arrangements. What are they going to do once their children start school? Insist that the schools stay open until Christmas Day?

AIBU or am I missing something?

OP posts:
CheekyGirl · 10/12/2007 21:09

I'm a midwife working in a busy, short-staffed hospital. However, I would never be expected to work Xmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day. This year, I've got Xmas Day off and I feel really lucky especially as it's Ds's Birthday, too!!

MissEm · 10/12/2007 21:45

I have to work xmas eve this year until about 1pm, but my employers are very flexible and are letting me take my dd in with me so I feel very lucky as most people would never be given this option. And I don't have to go back til the 3rd of Jan Yay.

Sidge · 10/12/2007 22:00

I used to need the nursery to provide care for my DD1 on Christmas Eve and over the Christmas period - I wasn't allowed to take annual leave at all over Christmas and New Year, and with a husband in the military there was no guarantee that he would be home either.

But those parents had notice last month that nursery would be closing early so they had time to make alternative arrangements.

Mind you some of us don't have alternative arrangements and really depend on the nurseries opening as much as possible!

NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 22:07

wow, some baffling vitriol and assumptions being made here.

why exactly does anyone think they have the right to judge another parent they dont know? based on what? a couple of overheard conversations (nosey earwigging thing to be doing, let alone repeating too i might add) and presumably some gossip with staff, or some other such reliable source of fact

sheesh, a lot of people have to work. the parents in question were asking for their childcare requirements to be met by their childcare provider. not exactly holding a gun to anyones head are they?

i only hope the next generation grow up to be a little more open minded, tolerant, imaginative and sensitive to their fellow human.

cory · 11/12/2007 08:54

In my neck of the woods, nurseries are considered something for the well-off - the rest of us have childminders. And childminders certainly expect the day off on Christmas Eve. Parents just juggle. But then both mine are at school anyway, and a fair proportion of our annual leave is used up on my dd's medical problems. So this all seems a bit of a luxury discussion.

ScottishMummy · 11/12/2007 08:59

nonetheless cory some parents still have to work and pay for the "luxury" of nursery, so not necessarily reserved only for the affluent

geekymummy · 11/12/2007 09:14

and looking at some nurseries near where I live they are certainly not a luxury!

blueshoes · 11/12/2007 09:36

cory, nurseries are not a luxury. They are a childcare choice, as valid as cm, nannies, grandparents/relatives etc

Whilst cost comes into consideration, childrens' welfare is far more important. And sometimes the choice is nursery, if the cms in your area (as in mine) are full up or not up to scratch. Not sure what a luxury discussion is anyway. Surely we are all mothers with valid problems and real issues.

ginnyweeze · 11/12/2007 10:00

Tricky one, this.

I can see why everyone's outraged at parents wanting their kids in nursery on Xmas eve. I've never put my kids in nursery on Xmas eve, but then again some people might be in a position where their boss won't allow them the time off! Maybe they would face the sack if they didn't go to work? I hope it's not just because they want to go to the pub.

I've had to work Xmas Day and Boxing Day some years, Sundays, Easter and bank holidays and no way of getting out of it without quitting. That was the nature of my work (I recently left that job). But DH looked after the children at those times because is a teacher, so childcare in the holidays and anti-social times is not a prob for us.

DH actually decided to switch careers when DS was small so he was around to care for the kids when needed, so we went out of our way to be able to care for our kids and pay the bills as well.

ISawSantaKissingKerrysNorks · 11/12/2007 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

islandofsodor · 11/12/2007 10:09

Nursery is cheaper than a childminder for me.

OrmIrian · 11/12/2007 14:13

I still would like to know how all the parents who are complaining about nursery closure are going to cope when their DCs are at school.

I work so I'm hardly going to condemn anyone for working. DH has worked in social services so has had to work christmas eve and christmas day before. I also work for a food manufacturer and all the production lines and the warehouse are open 365 days 24 hours a day so I know that people work all these times. But it makes no difference to the simple fact that in a few years all those parents are going to have to cope with schools being shut from approx 21st December to 7th January come what may. Regardless of what they want.

Jackstini · 11/12/2007 14:20

YANBU. Our nursery closes on Dec 21st and does not reopen until Jan 2nd.
If they have known about it for so long and it is only closed for 2.5 days they need a reality check! You would have thought they might have liked to spend Christmas Eve with their children or could at least find a relative for a few hours?

3JinglesandnoBells · 11/12/2007 14:29

don't think you can compare Hospitals/Fireservices/Police...etc....with Nursery....

lucyellensmum · 11/12/2007 14:48

Fuck a duck, is this still going on??

Why is it that, as parents who use this site for support and a general moan about life, as well as some great advice and funny stories, Why is it that given the chance, we cannot wait to jump in feet first and judge other peoples parenting choices or as has been pointed out on here unchoices.

I am a SAHM, by choice - a tough choice as financially we struggle (there are other reasons for that though and its not relevant). I sometimes feel guilty that i don't go to work. I have in the past been a WOHM, and i felt guilty for working. So, there you are, just accept that as a parent, there is always going to be someone judging you - usually another parent!

Incedentally, my dad used to work until Xmas eve morning. He worked on the railyway. I used to be at home with my mum, i would look out of the window at lunchtime to see my dad coming down the road in his yellow overalls - That, for me was the start of Christmas. and was very special.

bahKewcHumbug · 11/12/2007 14:53

sensible words LEM.

When did it become a cardinal sin to work on Christmas eve? When I was young everyone worked Xmas eve - whats the big deal?

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 11/12/2007 20:43

Hope Father Christmas has sorted out his childcare arrangements. Can't see him getting Christmas Eve off.....

Original poster
spokette · 12/12/2007 08:19

Bahkewhumbug
"just a quick point about the earlier comment about parents not turning up to pick their childrne up on time. My CM had her ofsted report and she informed me that to comply with ofsted requirement that her new policy had to be that if a parent didn;t pick up within 30 mins of pick up time, they haven't contacted her and she can't get hold of them or their emergency contact that she is obliged to report the matter to child services.

Doesn't your nursery have a similar policy?

Yes, the nursery has a similar policy but prefers not to resort to using it. IMO, they have been too lenient with some parents by trying to accommodate their tardiness and that is why advantage have been taken.

Recently, the manager had to send out a notice telling parents that the nursery did not open until 7am and could not accept children before then. Some parents have been turning up with their children at 6.30 am!.

OP posts:
coldtits · 12/12/2007 11:05

Its all very well being shocked at the awful mothers who try to dro their children off at 6.3 maybe they would like to be ready to start their shift at7, when it starts, instead of bolting in at 11 minutes at to a very cross grou of colleagues.

Original poster
spokette · 12/12/2007 11:33

Coldtits, both mothers and fathers drop their children off at the nursery.

I don't understand your indignation. These people know the hours the nursery open so if it does not fit in with their lifestyle, why don't they find an alternative that does. No doubt that if the nursery did open at 6.30, some parents would try to drop the children off at 6am.

The nursery is not insured to take children until 7am but I bet if they took those children before then and something happened, those same parents would be quick to sue/prosecute the owner.

Heaven help these people when their children start school.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 12/12/2007 12:14

Wow bet if your GP closed at lunchtime on xmas eve and you NEEDED to be seen you would be on here moaning - perhaps both parents are doctors/nurses/paramedics etc etc and cannot get that time off ..but you really don't care have just chosen to judge and demean them based on your assumptions and expectations!

deckthehallswithFEETofTIGERs · 12/12/2007 12:22

I'll be working Christmas Eve. DD's nursery is closed and initially I was annoyed as it left us in the lurch as DH should have been working too. He has the day off though.

Christmas Eve is not a bank holiday. I would give anything to be at home but unfortunately I work in an industry that is particularly busy around Christmas and I will be working a full day. If those of you that get the Christmas period off want food in your shops then I have to work to help make sure it gets there.

I hope that those of you that get Xmas Eve off have a lovely time. But this notion that people who work on that day are somehow neglecting their children and spoiling their Christmas is just ridiculous. My job requires that I have to be here every working day in December. C'est la vie.

blueshoes · 12/12/2007 13:34

Spokette: "Recently, the manager had to send out a notice telling parents that the nursery did not open until 7am and could not accept children before then. Some parents have been turning up with their children at 6.30 am!."

So your nursery has been lax before and now needs to tell parents that they won't accept children before the 7 am start time. Fair enough, I totally agree, insurance not covering etc.

My nursery does not accept until 8 am. I know that. But if I do the dropoff, I am there 10 minutes earlier so that I can settle ds in and give him a quick kiss and scoot the minute the staff saunter in at 8 am, so that I can get to work for 8:30. It is not a crime to be there earlier. As a working parent who wants to be able to maximise time with mu dcs, I have chosen my hours to start earlier and end earlier. It is a huge strain on me to have so little time to get to work but I do it for more time at home. Do YOU want to be the parent who has to get up to be at the nursery gate for 6:30 am? Do you somehow think they do it because they don't want to spend time with their dcs, rather than the opposite?

Spokette, you also wrote: "Heaven help these people when their children start school." I have a dd who IS in school. Short of cloning myself, I have to get an aupair because I cannot be at 2 places at once. Spare a thought for working parents who are just trying to juggle work and childcare responsibilities.

Too easy to judge.

tori32 · 12/12/2007 13:39

YANBU. The nursery gave fair warning to all. Infact I am surprised they are opening at all because it falls on a Monday. Most are closed from the previous friday. I CM and am finishing on the friday before! for 2 wks

marge2 · 12/12/2007 13:44

Talking about leaving small babies in day care - My GP ( yes - a doctor!) told me that she hates babies and only likes children once they get older. She has 3 kids and says she has them all really close to get it over with as GPs don't get maternity leave. From their ages she must have got preggers again as SOON as she had had her 6 week checks. She also told me that she went back to work when her oldest was 19 DAYS old . They are all now packed off to boarding school. Makes me wonder why on earth she had any in the first place if she is so uninterested!

Definately NOT maternal in any way shape or form. Poor kids

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