Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some parents at DTS 's nursery are being unreasonable?

183 replies

spokette · 10/12/2007 11:40

Some parents at the nursery that my DTS attend are complaining about the nursery being closed on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. They were informed about this in November.

This morning whilst I was signing the boys in, a mother with her 10 month old daughter complained that the nursery should provide the service for those who wanted it. One of the nursery staff quite rightly pointed out that they too have their own families and needed the time to prepare/shop etc.

I was gobsmacked. The nursery will be closed for the afternoon of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. The staff work really hard and deserve a break.

I understand that some parents have to work but they have known about this for a while and it is up to them to make alternative arrangements. What are they going to do once their children start school? Insist that the schools stay open until Christmas Day?

AIBU or am I missing something?

OP posts:
geekymummy · 10/12/2007 16:13

spokette said: "If I had my way restaurants, shops etc would not be allowed to open on Christmas Day or Boxing day. I personally don't regard them as an essential service, unlike a hospital."

spokette for prime minister!

I'm on maternity leave right now but would normally be working xmas eve, boxing day, new years eve and bank holidays as I work in retail.

geekymummy · 10/12/2007 16:15

my mum worked in hospital kitchens including some xmas days...

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 10/12/2007 17:54

Millenium year I worked xmas eve, xmas morning, boxing day morning, and new years eve night. Mainly because I had no-one (ie family) to spend itwith so I covered for a lot of people, plus I got paid a good whack for it. However if I hadn't have worked it parents may have had to. I think in fact many did, but the shifts were cut down to 5/6 hours rather than the standard eight so people were rota'd(?) with as umch time off as possible. Xmas holiday entitlement was not available, you were rotad and then had to find someone to cover your shift.

ScottishMummy · 10/12/2007 18:06

well actually the im NHS so lets see
doctors,
nurses,
HCA's
lab technicians
pathology
on call team
paramedics
switchboard
reception
porters
pharmacy
switchboard
phlembotomists
...apologi es to anyone else i missed

all need to work, and many of them have childcare needs and may need a nursery provision too. so maybe they are justifiably deliberating what to do when nursery is closed

fwiw i am in the above category and have worked the public hols eg Xmas, boxing day, new year day

amidaiwish · 10/12/2007 18:10

haven't read all 130 posts, but my nursery is closing at 4pm on Christmas Eve and has asked as many of us as possible whether we could keep our children at home so that staff can have the day off.
I'm not working, so fine with me.

However, i do think this is a little bit cheeky. I pay £120/day for 2 children to go to nursery. They only go on Mondays and Wednesdays.

The nursery is closed from 4pm on the 24th til Weds 3rd (?) Jan. But still nursery fees are the same as every other month.

There is no allowance for bank holidays, so everytime there is a bank holiday i pay for 2 days but only get 1. That's 50%.

If they want us not to use the nursery on Christmas eve I totally understand, but they could at least offer us a free day another time. But no.

AIBU?

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 10/12/2007 18:12

amidaiwish, that is a whole other argument.
Should a nursery be able to charge for any days that are not public holidays in the fees?
IMO, no.

amidaiwish · 10/12/2007 18:24

but i don't think it is a whole other argument

tbh it would be great if the DDs were in nursery for a few hours on christmas eve, let me get sorted and everything ready in peace. However, i get on very well with the nursery staff and know how many of them want to go home before the weekend, and they can't unless x no of children stay at home on Christmas Eve.

those parents who feel put out at the OPs nursery, probably feel "well i don't get a rebate or a day in lieu so why should I?"

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 10/12/2007 18:30

There is a difference between a nursery being open and a nursery charging for it's services.
When you first sign up to a nursery they are entitled to tell you what days they are closed yet will still charge for.
If they decide later that they fancy closing on whatever day, unless you have signed a contract allowing them to, they cannot charge you for that day.

NotEvenHopingForAWhiteXmas · 10/12/2007 18:36

I can't believe how judgemental some people are towards parents who have to work. I used to work in a call centre and we opened until 5pm Xmas Eve. They used to let a set number of people go early, by lottery, from midday onwards but if you were unlucky you were sat there until 5pm.

I now work in a Govt office that is open until 4pm. Someone has to cover, and everyone has children.

My DH works in a supermarket. He either works Xmas Eve or Boxing Day every year. Again, his colleagues also have children so one person can't take the whole week off.

I've come across too many people over the years who think they deserve priority for Leave at work because they've got children. If someone is paying you to do a job you do it, or face getting sacked. An awful lot of us work to pay the mortgage/ council tax/ electricity and not because we don't want to spend time with our children.

madamez · 10/12/2007 18:36

COldpenguin, lots of workplaces are open and need staff to be working over the Xmas holidays: as well as the emergency services there's the catering trade, care homes for pensioners and children, broadcasters, some IT jobs, etc, etc. Now most employers try to arrange it that all staff members who want to get some time off over the central few days of the holiday - bearing in mind that not everyone gives a toss about Christmas or celebrates it - but someone is always going to get the short straw, either because they are new to the job or because that's just the way the rotas panned out this year.

madamez · 10/12/2007 18:43

And the idea that parents should get priority over non parents in terms of Xmas time off is an annoying one - people who don't have kids are just as entitled to want to enjoy themselves over a holiday period. I have worked Xmas Eve/Xmas Day/Boxing Day etc in the past and have also had to be the one to sort out the Xmas shift rotas (a job which mostly consisted of pleading with staff to do at least one shift over the course of the 3 days, at double time, and not leave it all to the couple of stalwarts who didn't seem to actually have lives outside of work at all...)

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 10/12/2007 18:45

Lol madamez, luckily when I did xmas eve/day/boxing day etc I did the morning shifts, from around 7am til 2pm, that was great for me, I was an irresponsible teenager who just wanted to get pissed with her mates over xmas.

peacelily · 10/12/2007 19:17

Notevenhopingforawhitexmas, I'm afraid there's a strong flavour of judgmentalism (is that a word?) towards working mums on here on a regular basis.

It usually finds an excuse to pop it's head up regardless of the thread title. Some and only some of the SAHMs who post on here look for any opportunity to get a little jibe in. That said it can go the other way too.

I have to work to afford a decent life for my family. That's me and I don't feel guilty about it, I'm not avoiding my dd or dumping her or palming her off onto strangers or any of the other insults that fly round here regularly. I'm paying for high quality carefully evaluated child care so i can continue to have a career and a family.

Pitchounette · 10/12/2007 19:25

Message withdrawn

ScottishMummy · 10/12/2007 19:27

lke peacelily i also work, wee one in nursery (ofsted approved and inspected with NNEB staff) and yep i am unapologetic about it work because i want to, i enjoy it, i am bloody good at it. and i have vocational satisfaction.

mummyofgirls · 10/12/2007 19:32

YANBU - sorry haven't read whole thread, I agree that informing parents in Nov gives adequate notice for those who need to arrange alternative child care. But people sometimes forget about those with no choice but to work Christmastime and therefore may need childcare on a Monday afternoon. Leave is not allowed over Christmas including Christmas Day where I work.

louii · 10/12/2007 19:53

I have had to work Christmas Eve, Christmas day and Boxing day many times in the past, have actually done 12 hour shifts on all three days.

Have also worked a week of night shift over christmas, just the way the off duty ended up.

No-one was allowed leave over christmas.

Don't judge people who work, some of us have no choice, and if it wasn't for those people who do work these sort of shifts then we would be in a sorry state.

I have christmas day off this year as I am fortunate enough to do agency work and only work when my partner is off.

beeper · 10/12/2007 19:53

Some parents just don't want to spend time with thier kids.

ScottishMummy · 10/12/2007 19:56

and of course you know this to be fact and not anecdotal chuntering

bahKewcHumbug · 10/12/2007 20:16

Beeper - how sad for them, I don't know any parents like that.

I do take slight issue with the fact that working is OK if you have to. Gets right up my nose that men with childrne are allowed to work without anyone judging them or questioning whether they have to.

I'm lucky. I have to work so have never been forced to make the decision about whether I would prefer to stay at home full time with my DS. Some days I think I would go mad if I didn't have work to keep me sane, other days I resent the fact that work prevents me spending all my time with him. Isn't that the way in RL? Apart form coldpenguin and Xenia's worlds which seem to be so much more cut and dried than mine

margoandjerry · 10/12/2007 20:24

There's some weird adversarial stuff on this thread.

Yes, parents have annual leave but if you only have 20 days you could well be very reliant on the nursery for all the days' care you can get.

Of course the nursery staff would like to prepare for Christmas - so would I - but I have to do this at weekends as like a lot of people I can't take leave whenever I feel like it. Where I work, xmas eve is a normal working day.

Ideally my dd would not be at nursery on xmas eve - but this is not an ideal world (theoretical statement as she doesn't go to nursery).

No need for the judgement imho. Some parents don't want to spend time with their children. Others would love to but don't have the choice.

bahKewcHumbug · 10/12/2007 20:30

just a quick point about the earlier comment about parents not turning up to pick their childrne up on time. My CM had her ofsted report and she informed me that to comply with ofsted requirement that her new policy had to be that if a parent didn;t pick up within 30 mins of pick up time, they haven't contacted her and she can't get hold of them or their emergency contact that she is obliged to report the matter to child services.

Doesn't your nursery have a similar policy?

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 10/12/2007 20:33

YANBU but where I work I'm likely to be asked to work Christmas Eve/between Christmas and New Year. In my case, childcare would be no problem since my parents will always take dd after school and in holidays but then again I am lucky that they do this.

I'm not sure what would be worse - leaving my dd in nursery on Christmas Eve or telling my Mum I was going to do this . Christmas traditions run deep in my family.

bahKewcHumbug · 10/12/2007 20:35

my DS loves his CM, knows her better than he does my sister (who lives very close) - no-one would bat an eyelid if I said my sister was looking after DS on Xmas eve but because its "childcare" it would be a problem?

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 10/12/2007 20:42

I think my Mum is still bearing resentment from being asked to be an unpaid childminder by a fellow parent back in the 70s when they were still a bit of an unknown quantity .