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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about nanny medical appointments?

4 replies

TalithaWallace · 20/10/2021 03:48

We have a part time nanny (she works 10-5, 4 days a week) and recently almost every week she has taken time off for non-urgent medical appointments for herself or her children, for example vaccinations for her two young children. This means that my husband or I need to juggle meetings or find alternative childcare at short notice. There have also been several times in recent weeks when one of her children has been sick (nothing serious, just the usual colds/coughs) and she has wanted to take them to the doctor, but it is never her husband who attends these appointments, always her.
AIBU in thinking non urgent appointments could be scheduled on her non working hours or days, and/or could be shared with her husband so it’s not always my husband and I having to cover the absences? I understand why her husband prefers not to take the time off as he is a personal trainer and doesn’t get paid for the hours he isn’t working, but it’s frustrating that we always have to be the ones to juggle.
Note that we live in a country where medical care is primarily private, not NHS, so there is a lot of flexibility in making medical appointments.

OP posts:
DifferentHair · 20/10/2021 03:57

You're not unreasonable.

I think you need to have a conversation with her, explaining that you understand and will always want to accomodate emergencies / unexpected illness but it's becoming challenging to accommodate non urgent appointments and could she please try to make them on the day she doesn't work.

Have you raised this with her?

TalithaWallace · 20/10/2021 05:06

Thanks for responding. No, so far I have not mentioned it. I wanted to get an idea of whether my expectations were reasonable first

OP posts:
HikingforScenery · 20/10/2021 05:39

Yanbu

Bagelsandbrie · 20/10/2021 07:02

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable with the vaccination type appointments but if her children are unwell it might be that they can’t wait until her day off to be seen by a doctor. Maybe she could bring your children with her …? (Possibly awful idea just brain storming)!

I don’t think there’s any harm bringing it up and asking her to arrange things on her day off as much as possible.

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