SEN child- what do I do?

[EmilyBennetWitch]

Had my parent teacher meeting this afternoon. Teacher casually mentioned that son has been placed on the SEN register. I knew he was behind, but didn’t realise it was by this much. I was so shocked I didn’t think of what to ask. I’ve googled and there’s not much information. What does the SEN register mean? Do I need to do anything else for him? Do I need to register it with a doctor or something? Am I the shittest mum ever for being devastated about it? I just want to cry and I don’t really know why

Didn’t want to read and run. You are not the shittest Mum, you are worrying already which shows how much you care. Can’t offer any useful insights apart from why not email the school about next steps and what you can do to support them and him x

I think you definitely need to get clarification on this. It may just mean that they have identified that he needs extra interventions in certain areas, and that is how the teacher worded it. However, no teacher should just be casually telling a parent that their child has been placed on an SEN register and that be the first time the parent has even heard about it. How old is your son? Definitely arrange a meeting with the teacher and also the SENCO at the school to work out where to go from here.

(((HUG)))

You're allowed to be shocked & upset x

The teacher was wrong to have just done this & dropped it on you like that, there should have been a more gentle approach & some discussion.

I think you need to book an appointment with the teacher to ask the questions you'll now be thinking of!

I don't understand how they can put him on a SEN register without discussion/testing etc but you need to see what it means at his school & why they've done it.

Don't panic & certainly don't panic before you know the whole story!

How old is your child? Does he have an IEP? In which case they should be discussing what is in it and this should be regularly reviewed. The teacher also should have been speaking to you if she had concerns not bringing it up on parents evening!

fucking hell was this the first time they told you? in a bog standard parent's evening?

Email and ask for a meeting with the SENDCo (special needs cordinator) so that they can explain to you what the issue is, what they are doing to support and what you can support with at home. Doo mention that this was a shock to you as you were not told of difficulties before.

on the plus side, they are a proactive school (in some senses) and should be offering support.

SEN basically means that your son has an identified learning need that means he needs additional support in order to access the curriculum and progress. You don't need to register it with a doctor and while there is often overlap between the two it doesn't mean he has special needs (SN), SEN refers only to educational needs.

They should tell you in writing exactly what those needs are, what his individual learning targets are in relation to those targets, how he will be supported to work towards them, and how his progress will be monitored. Contact school to arrange a meeting with the SENCO to they can talk you through these.

You are not a shit mum! This is no reflection on you or you son, all it means right now is that he needs a bit of help in school and - to put a positive spin on it - at least they're on the ball with putting support in place

Thanks for the responses. He’s 5 and in year one. I’d noticed he was struggling with reading/writing but his last parents evening they just said everyone was behind because of covid and not to worry.

I’m not sure what a IEP is but the teacher said he doesn’t need an EHCP so that’s good I think?

I’ll call the school tomorrow and ask for a meeting with the SENCO and see what they say. I’m not sure who they are so it sounds like a good place to start

I just feel shit because I’m so sad about it all

Don’t feel shit, the fact that any potential issue has been picked up on early is good.

The teacher was out of order for just dropping it into parents evening. There should never be big surprises at parents evening.

I got a letter in the post one day telling me my son was on the register but it was a relief for me because I had been fighting for support for years

I'm a SENCO and it is very sad to hear you have had this experience. Being on the SEN register means the school have identified a specific need. Most importantly they will need to create a support plan to show how this need is being addressed and what they are doing to try to close any gaps in learning. These should be reviewed regularly to evaluate the effectiveness of any interventions. Very often young children will progress and come off the SEN register, as he grows older, if the problems still persist the school might suggest he us, seen by and Educational psychologist who can assess to see if there is a specific problem. Please don't panic, early intervention is often the key, I agree that you should make an appointment with your school SENCO.

10% of children are on SEN register as an average (I was told recently). So that's 3 kids in your DSs class. In my son's class its more like 6.
It's a good thing he's on their register. It means they've identified he needs more support... some kids never get picked up or acknowledged that they are struggling with things... BUT it is totally rubbish for them to drop this without explanation. Sounds like class teacher bit clueless. The SENCO will have identified him most likely through tests etc. You need to request a meeting with SENCO ASAP.
There's all kinds of things that put kids on the register but it will mean he'll now get extra support to catch up. So find out what this will be. Probably small group work for maths and English.
I have a SEN child. He's on the register. He used to be 2 years behind his classmates he's now 2 years ahead in Maths (I've also fought a bit for support too but a lot of this was amazing teachers using the right strategies... but that took a couple of years to work out).
Don't write your soon off yet!! Hes only 5/6!

Being in the SEN register means that they are acknowledging the additional support DC needs now to make progress.
It may be that they are removed in a year as they make progress with specific support and move on in their learning. It may be that they use it as a springboard to additional support and services in the future.
I’m a SENDCO and we put children who require different and specific planning onto our SEND register. This could be 1:1 speech and language, work on gross motor skills or specifically adapted maths planning.
Despite my job, DS was only diagnosed at 10. We believed the people who taught him who said it would be fine. It wasn’t. He would never be fine without specialist intervention. (He’s fine now!)