to want to accept my parents offer of a freebie holiday?

[fairyflipflop]

My parents are going to spend a week in a farmhouse in south of france at the end of March and have asked us to go with them.

Accommodation already paid for so just need to find flights and food. Flights currently priced at a very reasonable £49 return per person.

Farmhouse has 4 bedrooms so not as if we'll be sharing a room with them or even with ds (age 2).

DH threw complete wobbly and refuses to even consider it.

Who is being unreasonable?

Why won't he consider it?
Could you take your DS and leave DH at home?

He is being unreasonable. Definitely.
Parents get to spend lots of time with grandchildren, you and dh get to spend lots of time not having to look after kids, parents have already paid so it's not as if you are exploiting them. It's win-win.

Sounds lovely, why the wobbly from DH? It is PIL or cost? Maybe it is a man thing, they can get a bit wobbly when not in charge...

I'm on his side. I'd find it difficult to spend a week with the in-laws even though they're perfectly nice people.

He must have a reason though.

Why does he not want to go? What are his reasons?

We have done holidays with parents and in laws and have had a lovely time. Last summer we stayed ina lovely cottage in the South of France with in laws and had a great holiday together, and DD loved spending so much time with her grandparents. We do all get on though.

I say you and kids should go and leave dh at home if he's got such a prob with it!

Blimey. Bite their hand off. I would !

I can't say I'd look forward to a holiday with MIL - and I like her and get on well with her - just wouldn't think of it as a holiday.

No reason why you and DS shouldn't go though.

Think DH just has a problem with the prospect of spending time with my father. He thinks my father hates him (he doesn't, he just doesn't do small talk).

Have already said that if dh feels that strongly about not going he can stay at home and I will take ds on my own. DH views this as me punishing him.

Dh also reckons we will all spend the whole week doing what my father wants and running after him. OK, my dad is a bit helpless in the kitchen and likes to be fussed over - but so what? He's paying ffs! It's not as if he's a tyrant and will expect dh to give him a foot massage! He's just set in his ways and likes to do his own thing. As do most father-in-laws.

But it's a freebie! Surely he can pretend to like the idea when it's not going to cost him anything

I'd be there with bells on me.

well, with PIL's anyway.....my side of family whole other matter but then neither of us would be offered it let alone have to discuss it

PMSL@ foot massage!

Can you set the rules before you go - woudld your DH agree if he knew that he would be able to do his own thing? Perhaps if you suggest you hire a small car for the 3 of you to go and explore a bit it might help?

Seems unfair of you and Ds to miss out on a lovely holiday becuase of your DH's perception of what his FIl may be like. And surely MIL will be there to look after FIL anyway?

I would be eager to go - I would also put pressure on Dh about going on my own with the kids..

Understand the in-law thing - to be fair I wouldn't jump at the chance of spending a week with his parents.

BUT if they were paying I would just deal with it and accept the offer - it would make dh happy, ds would have a ball and I wouldn't have to do any housework or cooking as MIL would do it all. All those outweigh having to spend a week with them I reckon. So why can't he apply same logic to this situation?

We always have to stay with his parents whenever we go home and I always make an effort. Even when I do end up moaning about mil I always redeem myself by giving her a huge bunch of flowers or sending her for a manicure as a thank you for looking after us.

So if I can do this for him, why can't he do this for me? Arrrrghhhhhh!

(sorry that was really long winded!)

Can you not arrange things, talk to your parents and arrange it so that you do get some time for yourselves too? Surely it will be great - they want to spend some time with your dd, so you have babysitters, and it isn't too full on for you dh?

I'd jump at it too, we're going on hol with my dp's family at xmas. I am a bit nervous about spending two weeks with them, but it'll be great for their gkids, and we're gonna get some kid free time and it should be good.