Can I ask opinions on something that happened at work?

[retroginglass]

I have name changed for this. I work in a legal job and was chatting to an estate agent yesterday who I know really well. Knew she had been away for the weekend and I asked her to let me know how it went. Anyway she was telling me about a few funny things that had happened and I was laughing along with her - did actually phone for business chat but this was an aside. Next minute my door is slammed shut from the outside by a colleague. For context we all have our own offices with doors and hers is quite a bit away from me. She would never have heard me from there but might have been passing. I am fuming. If she had whispered can I shut your door over a bit I wouldn't have been offended but I just feel that the whole workplace is becoming more toxic. I work long hours and like to have a friendly manner with people I am dealing with all the time - they give us business so it makes sense. AIBU to be raging. Today I just sat with my door shut, I just can't be bothered with the infantile drama of the whole place.

I think “raging” is possibly a little over the top but I’d be pissed off too. It’s really rude to slam your door like that.

It was rude. You can speak to her about it or let it go. She clearly has a bit of an issue with you. Are you quite loud?

Colleague was very rude.

But I'd prob just try my best not to think about it much more

You're overreacting. She wanted the door shut so she shut it. She might not have meant to slam it, the wind could have caught it or she could have done it recklessly, but similarly you could have shut the door before/when your conversation became livelier. Let it go.

Very rude. Depends on the setup what you do I suppose. Senior or same level? HR? Networking or friendly chats important, nobody wants to deal with a misery. If the workplace is becoming toxic anyway is there a management issue needing raised?

I think I’d have had to go and give her the “are you ok?” treatment. But in-front of others.

Ignore ignore. It was done to gain a reaction from you. The less you react the more annoyed colleague wil get. This approach works and you will gain the upperhand.

You were possibly louder than you thought. She may have been dealing with a difficult client or an upsetting situation and your laughter was off putting. I think you were both a bit unreasonable. But there's aback story @retroginglass isn't there?

Were you on hands free?

Yes, just ignore it.

Maybe you were louder than you thought, maybe it's not the first time and maybe she didn't mean to slam it.

Don't make a big deal out of it-it won't do your blood pressure any good!

I haven't said anything to her. For info I am more senior than her. There might be a bit of resentment there. I have had a terrible year in that I fractured my back and worked from home until maybe May time and then had to work at home in the afternoon. This affected my mental health immensely and I was very quiet in work until relatively recently when I started feeling better. I know people noticed. I can be quite loud, I know that. There are management issues that need to sort out work balance - lot of hanging about and chatting getting done, not by me. This girl was making a right racket today laughing and joking when she was supposed to be working, I am going to keep my door closed, get on with my work and not interact much. Stops me feeling so frustrated by lack of work others are doing when I am demented and even bringing work home.

Your colleague was rude.

But don't dwell on it. Maybe you were louder than you thought, maybe your colleague was having a bad day or forgot to put sugar on her cornflakes. Life is too short to waste energy on stuff like this.

LizzieMacQueen she wasn't dealing with anyone, she was hanging about the hall. Other than what I have put above I have no issue with this girl, never have had. She is trying to make amends a bit I think today but I really can't be bothered. I'm too old for all this petty shit.

I mean, you were louder than you thought. You've even admitted you can be loud. Mystery solved. Let it go.

Fastforwardtospring no never do hands free. Apart from that I could be speaking to someone about something confidential and a client could be about. I know I can be loud but only with people I know really well. I wouldn't just do this with an every day client. I will take advice and ignore it, what's done is done.

ErickBroch she is actually one of the loudest people ever. She can be totally hyper or say nothing. I did wonder at one time if she was bi-polar. If she is excited about something everyone knows about it that's why I was miffed because I would never ever say anything to her.

So you were making enough noise to disturb others and you are the one 'raging' about it?

Just ignore. I have a colleague, Cross between Fred Scuttle and Dick Darstadly. Nutter. Tries to get me to loose my temper. Drink gin, shut your door. Good luck

There’s a back story here it screams of it.

What @Newwifeatnumber10 said. If you've no issue with this woman, why are you posting on mumsnet about such a tiny thing?

Ignore her. She sounds like an arse.

She is trying to make amends a bit I think today but I really can't be bothered. I'm too old for all this petty shit.

She's trying to make amends but you 'can't be bothered'. Who's being petty now?