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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Helicopter parenting

23 replies

Welshlavalove · 19/10/2021 17:53

Had a 17 year old turn up today for work experience , his mum rang the reception buzzer came in with him and signed the visitor book and waited to speak to manager . Is it unreasonable to think that is ridiculous and the child shouldn’t get the job.

OP posts:
TeenMinusTests · 19/10/2021 17:57

It depends on what the job is and whether there are any SN in play.
An 'average' 17yo should be perfectly capable with coaching behind the scenes if needed.
But some won't be.

If this is work experience, presumably they aren't meant to know it all already.

Member869894 · 19/10/2021 17:57

It's not his fault his mum is dumb

LakeShoreD · 19/10/2021 17:58

Bit harsh to say that the boy shouldn’t be allowed the job. It’s not his fault his mother is a raving lunatic and I think it would be totally unreasonable to punish him.

Mother should just be told no she can’t see the manager and no she can’t sign into the office.

mbosnz · 19/10/2021 18:08

My sister used to go and sit in interviews with her kids. Interviews that she'd set up via family and friends. Sigh.

Thesearmsofmine · 19/10/2021 18:09

He may have SEN? His mum might know the manager?

hamstersarse · 19/10/2021 18:11

God that would piss me off

He will be useless

Welshlavalove · 19/10/2021 19:02

No sen and they don’t know manager .

OP posts:
spanieleyes · 19/10/2021 19:07

Heck, if we judged everyone based on the actions of their parents, the world would be a very poor place indeed!

ItsAlwaysThere · 19/10/2021 19:08

I think that covid restrictions and so much homeschooling set many youngsters back in social development areas. Bear it in mind.

Incywinceyspider · 19/10/2021 19:09

Harsh to say they shouldn't get it, but YANBU that it is ridiculous and doesn't look good.

GTAlogic · 19/10/2021 19:10

If anything, if the kid doesn't have any send, time in the real world away from his parents could be a good thing (for him, at least).

Welshlavalove · 19/10/2021 19:11

I think if you are old enough to be employed you shouldn’t need your mum to bring sign you in to work .

OP posts:
Poochnewbie1 · 19/10/2021 19:12

Bit harsh to judge the kid by his parent’s actions. Why not see what he is like and judge on his own actions and ability…

homeonthehill · 19/10/2021 19:13

Working in an agency I've had to politely turn many mums away who've fully expected to sit in on interviews with their young adult children. Usually the kids is deathly embarrassed and thankful to me for being the one to tell their parent how inappropriate it is. Don't judge the kid but absolutely judge the ridiculous mother

couchparsnip · 19/10/2021 19:23

I thought work experience means you do unpaid work whilst still at school. Is there an actual paid job involved? Either way you can't judge a child by their parent. They might be lovely.

MilduraS · 19/10/2021 19:31

At 17 I wouldn't have let my mum accompany me into work even if she had wanted to. Yes, she sounds crazy but he's old enough to say no too.

Still1nLove · 19/10/2021 19:39

At 17 i lived alone and had a full time job.

AutumnLeafy · 19/10/2021 19:39

I wouldn't discount him due to his mother. But it is a bit odd she came along too. Is it something like modelling where you might want to bring someone for safety for the first visit? Are you sure he didn't have SEN? Who are you in this story? The manager?

parrotonthesofa · 19/10/2021 19:41

You have no idea what the reason behind this is. Stop being so judgy.

Kite22 · 19/10/2021 20:10

I presume as it is work experience, then they are there for the week / fortnight and then off. All is arranged, and no-one is expecting them to be able to do the job ?

In which case, tell the mother to leave.
Let the young person have a positive first couple of days, then, once they are a little bit more confident, sit them down and tell them how completely inappropriate it was and what a really poor impression it gave, and that it could in future, when going for interviews, really mark him down as being incapable.
Up to him what he does with that information.

TrollsAreSaddos · 19/10/2021 21:09

It's a bit weird but I wouldn't take it into account. I'd have asked the parent to leave and carried on as normal.
Parents accompany kids to universities open days all the time and just take a look at how involved a lot of the parents are on the Oxbridge threads 😅

Highlandskye · 19/10/2021 21:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

earsup · 19/10/2021 21:19

I used to know the worst ever helicopter....son is about 28....she went everywhere with him...drove him all over ...he plays football or did...always on the verge on some big deal which never happened....everyone bored of hearing about it....child cant even make a cup of tea....and now she has a 4 year old and is exactly the same...non stop hovering...awful....hence why no contact for years now...!!

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