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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Change of class time

46 replies

PineappleB · 19/10/2021 17:44

DS has a extra curricular activity every Sunday and we have a WhatsApp group between the instructor and all parents.

The instructor communicated in the group that due to a local even one of the class need to be taken place on line but she cannot do it on that particular date. So she suggested to do it on Saturday instead. I replied that DS has other activities on Saturday so can't make it. Then the instructor continued the conversation with other parents that the class will be on Saturday. I feel being ignored. So I replied that we should only change the time of the class if all children can make it. Then suggested what time works for DS.

DH thinks that I am rude to reply like that. It ruined the relationship with this group because DS will be in the same class for the next few years.

AIBU to reply like that? WWYD?

OP posts:
ChubbyK · 19/10/2021 17:56

I think if it works for the majority or everyone but you then you'll need to let it go.

It would probably be near impossible to reschedule so that every single person can join.

purpledagger · 19/10/2021 17:57

I think in this case, the majority vote rules. There will always be times that people can't make, for various reasons, so the organiser needs to work with the majority.

HazelandChacha · 19/10/2021 17:57

In an ideal world it would be perfect if it was on a day/time that everyone could make but the instructor could spend the rest of the week trying to coordinate that and still not manage to make it so everyone could do it.

If it’s only one or two DC that are unable to attend, but the majority can, I would think that’s fair enough tbh, even if it was one of mine that couldn’t do it.

Glittertwins · 19/10/2021 17:59

The instructor has given notice of the one off change and will have to go with the majority.
What do you suggest? That your DS is the only attendee one a time / day of your choosing??

Abouttimemum · 19/10/2021 18:01

Yep, you have to go with the majority, accept that DS will miss that one and then back to normal afterwards.

TimeForTeaAndG · 19/10/2021 18:01

Unfortunately you just have to accept a majority rules when things have to change for a one off.

Is it pay as you go or fixed fee? I either wouldn't pay for the week or ask if that week can be rolled forward as it's not your fault they won't be able to attend the change of day.

Tigerwhocameforsupper · 19/10/2021 18:02

You were unreasonable. They have to go with the majority and it’s up to the instructor to have the final say on what suits them best. I’m sure it won’t harm your DS to miss it for one week.

Gizlotsmum · 19/10/2021 18:03

I wouldn’t have pushed the point. If it works for the majority it is just unlucky it doesn’t work for you. I’ve had this happen and it usually balances out over time

chocolateorangeinhaler · 19/10/2021 18:03

Your DH is correct. The world doesn't revolve around your DD.
If the change of plans work for the other parents and instructor then nothing you can do apart from change your DD plans so she can join in.

chocolateorangeinhaler · 19/10/2021 18:04

Sorry - your DS.

2reefsin30knots · 19/10/2021 18:04

YABU and precious. If the Sunday activity is the priority, miss the Saturday activity so he can attend online. If the Saturday activity is the priority, he misses the Sunday activity.

These things happen and the world does not revolve around your DS. The instructor is good to try to reschedule rather then just cancelling.

BananaPB · 19/10/2021 18:05

When she suggested Saturday she ewe basically telling you that it's Saturday this week. You need to let it go and miss the session. Depending on how many people plus instructors there are, it might be impossible to come up with a time that suits everyone. Imagine if there is a time that suits everyone but later this week it transpires that it doesn't suit. As the instructor changed for you, she'd have to change for this person and this makes this complicated. Would you rather she cancelled ?

BananaPB · 19/10/2021 18:05

I agree with your h- you were rude

Stevearnottsbeard · 19/10/2021 18:11

You were both unreasonable and rude. If your suggested date didn't work for everyone would you rather the whole lesson was cancelled so everyone had to miss out just because of you?

mrsevangelina · 19/10/2021 18:13

Yes, you were rude. The instructor has to go with the majority otherwise nothing would ever get arranged. Your child's availability isn't more important than the other children's availability.

Thesearmsofmine · 19/10/2021 18:16

Yes you were rude. It sounds like a one off thing and there will likely not be a time that everyone can make it.

hopeishere · 19/10/2021 18:19

But what if the time that works for your DS doesn't work for everyone?? You have to go with the majority.

DDivaStar · 19/10/2021 18:26

As one off I just think you'll have to decide which activity is most important that week. Ideally the instructor should refund or roll over one week as its not on its usual time.

I agree with your H its probably not worth making an issue of just this once !

BingBongToTheMoon · 19/10/2021 18:29

Yeah I agree. YABU. There are more in the group than just your DS.
Got to go with the majority.

Original poster
PineappleB · 19/10/2021 18:31

@ time for tea
It's not payg. We pay for the whole year and there is a class calendar for the whole year.

OP posts:
AnkleDeep · 19/10/2021 18:32

YABVU and rude.

PyjamaFan · 19/10/2021 18:33

There's unlikely to be a time that everyone can make, you will all have to go along with the majority.

PyjamaFan · 19/10/2021 18:35

I've just reread your original post. You were very rude to reply with what time suits you. It makes you sound very selfish.

BrilliantBulb · 19/10/2021 18:35

What did everyone else say?

Original poster
PineappleB · 19/10/2021 18:41

Good to see different perspective
But I don't mean my availability is more important than other children's. I think it's unfair for other children too if it works for me but not others. Say if 5 out of 8 can make it, 3 would miss out not because of their fault. Obviously I Hope there is a slot works for all.

The instructor change class time for her personal reason. I would thought if we cannot find a time works for everyone, they would find a substitute instructor for that session. But now I am not sure when everyone says that I am U

OP posts: