To ask you to help me get perspective (**trigger MH**)

[UselessASD]

My day of holiday hasn’t gone the way I hoped. That’s it - no illness, no death or bad thing happened. I have other days holiday I can take. No matter my trying the positive thinking, counting blessings etc it’s not working. That’s feeding into low level depression.
I hate that my mind is blowing everything out of proportion. I know it’s out of proportion and it’s not making a difference to my mood.

Any ideas to help me pull myself together?

When I get trapped in a negative thought cycle like that I shout STOP and NO NOT GOING THERE in my head to try and disrupt the thought process. Then I try to do something that will make me feel more uplifted - something small like watching a cute animal video on Instagram/bath/cup of tea and a nice biscuit.

9/10 this works for me - I know it sounds crazy.

If it doesn’t work I try to sleep on it and usually feel better the next day

I paint. It takes me into a calm zone where nothing else matters. I do it when I'm anxious too and it really works for me. You don't have to be good at it either!

I couldn’t stop the thoughts, these turned in anxiety now I’m on meds for anxiety and depression. The same things still puss me off but I don’t have the thoughts going round and round in my head, I don’t think worse case scenarios now. I can deal with an issue, move on and forget.

Piss not puss

Thanks all
I have medication that can help. I’m better today, just angry at myself.

Give yourself 10 minutes to mope/comerseriate then pull yourself up and get on with life.

@UselessASD don’t be angry at yourself - it’s really hard to get the brain under control sometimes. Glad you are feeling better

Please can I have another hand hold. Canny explain just at the moment. And a hand golf back to anyone else who needs it.

Golf? Hold!

Hey Bagadverts, hand hold for you here.

UselessASD I use different things to push my mood back the other way. Depends on how I'm feeling. Anger? Focus on love. Anxious, find gratitude in things. If I'm mad at myself, I try to take a shower or a bath. Mad at the world, snack and a cup of tea. In a total funk? Get some music on and just move until I find motivation to do anything else. How are you feeling?

Oh, just realised the original post date is a way back. Either way, happy to help if I can.

Continue MH trigger
Name change fail or actually not attempted - I am op, thanks for the hand. I tried something for work and it didn’t work out well. It wasn’t really my fault (IT) but a poor worker blames their tools, probably appeared really incompetent. The others are used to the type of work and did well.

Trying to comfort myself with the fact I gave it a go, but I might have been more of a hindrance. I’d need the sweary thread to write the way I am describing myself in my head. Completely irrational I know, but doesn’t seem to be stopping me.

I was really hoping this might be something I could add as a positive to the range of work I can do, actually think it’s the other way.
I know I am safe from myself because although I am having bad thoughts I would never want anyone to associate anything like me self harming to this event. They wouldn’t actually - I know I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill.

If it wasn't really your fault, then why are you blaming yourself? Are you omnipotent? Do you have magical powers? Are you somehow greater and better than everyone else?

If not, then stop holding yourself accountable as if you were. Instead, try talking to yourself kindly. Imagine you are supporting a dear friend through a similar situation. Or you are comforting a child while they deal with those big emotions. If you would show kindness to either of those, show it to yourself too.

Once those emotions are back down, then (and ONLY then) should you try to assess the situation, see what you've learnt, and what changes you would make. You can't do that effectively while your brain is awash in stress chemicals.

If you are struggling to process the emotions, or can't stop going over the events in your head, distract yourself for a bit. Play tetris, or 2048, or do a rubiks cube. Whatever can pull your focus for a bit.

I got told to speak to myself as though it was a little child having whatever problem. As in treat her (myself) gently and kindly and help her. No blame needs brandished about.

It wasn’t a good day but it’s over and today will be a better day. The positive to take from that is that you are feeling a bit better today. It’s not like you were angry all week and the holidays over.

Everyone has an off day. It’s allowed. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Forgiveness of self is hard but try saying “I forgive myself for being angry, it’s over and I feel better” out loud. It may help.

When I spiral into anger over nothing/something stupid I now meditate. Even two minutes can really really help me. I’d recommend it if youve not tried it. I thought it would be a load of old pishy bollocks that idiots spout on about but it unexpectedly worked so I’m a convert.

Thanks all. There is a lot of wisdom on MN as well as kindness.

@Elieza I do practice mindfulness and can manage guided breath meditation. It definitely helps more generally and if I keep going with it I will get to a point where I can use it more in the hard moments. (I seem to get to very emotional very fast and at those bad times currently meditation doesn’t get a look in. With time that might change.)

I think hormones can have a lot to do with my own issues. Apart from going on or off the contraceptive pill there’s not much we can do to control that ourselves. Perhaps you are in the same boat.

I’d recommend acupuncture if you have a spare £50 approx. It does things that western medicine can’t do to help me with anxiety and peri menopause. And other weird symptoms that western GPs do nothing for.

@Elieza again perceptive- definitely not the best day yesterday

Reviving this thread. I’ve just missed my booster because it is snowing and no taxis, was a bit low and lonely anyway - can I have another hand hold please. Oh and a handshake back to anyone else. It is so much easier to be kind to others than myself.

Bump