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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he can't just leave his job?

39 replies

Oneeata · 19/10/2021 16:22

DS starts a new job 1st November. He only has to give a weeks notice in his current job but has said he might just hand his notice in and not go back after that.
He absolutely hates the place he's in at the moment and to be fair to him they really have messed him about over the last 2/3 months or so, telling him no work on so would have to use lieu days to cover as not enough holiday entitlement accrued, going in to start a back shift and being sent home to come back and do a nightshift and other issues (still not good enough reason to just jack in)
I know he's a grown ass man and can make his own decisions (mostly mistakes imho) but surely he can't expect to not go back without any ramifications? I'm thinking it could come back and bite him should he need a reference from them at any point in the future. Plus I know it'll cause ructions between him and DH. I'm trying to get him to see sense and that he has commitments that he needs to keep to but he's like a dog with a bloody bone insisting "it'll be alright!" and that he owes them no loyalty.
I just think he's being stupid and stubborn.

OP posts:
TheUnbearable · 19/10/2021 16:25

He is being daft, having a full checkable work and education history and good refs is always best.

dreamingbohemian · 19/10/2021 16:35

What kind of job is it?

I don't agree he has to keep his commitments, it sounds like they've treated him pretty badly. I don't think we owe bad employers anything.

If he's in hospitality or the food industry or something similar, he won't need a reference from them as long as his new job is definite.

SoniaFouler · 19/10/2021 16:46

If they’ve messed him around that much, they might not even call him in for any shifts before November.

FWIW, he is NBU.

Original poster
Oneeata · 19/10/2021 16:46

He's currently working in a factory, production line. I know it's not a prestigious job or anything but I just think he shouldn't burn his bridges as it were.

OP posts:
namechange30455 · 19/10/2021 16:47

How old is he?

Strangevipers · 19/10/2021 16:47

Companies aren't allowed to give negative references .

They seem to have messed him around, there are times when you have to stick things out and there are times in life sometimes when you need to stick up for yourself and for your own pride and stick it to the man!

This appears to be one of those occasions where he can walk away from and give the company a big 'do one' without actually saying anything at all

nordica · 19/10/2021 16:50

Many jobs these days ask for more than one reference so unless he already has at least one good one lined up, it's not worth building his bridges as you say - not for the sake of a few days anyway. If he wants some time off in between jobs, can't he just hand in his notice tomorrow and finish next Wednesday?

Crunchymum · 19/10/2021 16:53

So we are talking about 8 days?

I'd encourage him to go, as you are meant to work your notice period. Also another week in the crappy job might make him appreciate the new job a little more.

negomi90 · 19/10/2021 16:54

If they're that bad, then maybe he's worried that the final week will be fill of bullying and harrassment.
He's in a low wage job with only 1 weeks notice. He can quit and not show up or quit and then self certify with stress.
Let him do what he wants to do.
He's already got the next job lined up, this one doesn't matter.

Fallagain · 19/10/2021 16:55

@Strangevipers

Companies aren't allowed to give negative references .

They seem to have messed him around, there are times when you have to stick things out and there are times in life sometimes when you need to stick up for yourself and for your own pride and stick it to the man!

This appears to be one of those occasions where he can walk away from and give the company a big 'do one' without actually saying anything at all

Not true. They can give negative factual references so the can give a reference which says he refused to work his notice period.
NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 16:55

@Strangevipers

Companies aren't allowed to give negative references .

They seem to have messed him around, there are times when you have to stick things out and there are times in life sometimes when you need to stick up for yourself and for your own pride and stick it to the man!

This appears to be one of those occasions where he can walk away from and give the company a big 'do one' without actually saying anything at all

They absolutely can give a negative reference if they can back it up.
Strangevipers · 19/10/2021 16:58

@Fallagain
@NavigatingAdolescence

They wouldn't give a bad reference if they have messed him around

BluebelllsRosesDaffodills · 19/10/2021 17:01

It’s better for him if he resigns and then calls in sick for the one week notice period.

Eeiliethya · 19/10/2021 17:04

How long has he worked there? I think this would make a difference.

If he's been there a month or two then it would make less of a difference than if he's been there a few years because in the case of a few years a reference would be required in which case it's not going to be great is it.

If it's up to 2 month then he could get away with leaving as a gap on his CV but this wouldn't wash with companies that require a full 5 year background check (as does mine due to security clearance reasons).

On a side note, when I was younger I started a new job, found out 3 weeks in that I was pregnant. Old employer offered to reinstate my old contract providing I could restart immediately thus getting the maternity benefits that I wouldn't be entitled to at new job.

Resigned, manager at new job insisted I work an eight week notice period. I asked if we could reach a compromise, they flat out refused. I handed in my access ID and just said I wouldn't be coming back tomorrow.
Nothing ever came from it.

I think the legality of it is if the company can prove they lose money due to your refusal to work notice (such as hire agency staff) then they are within their rights to pursue you for costs incurred, so I would consider this.

Original poster
Oneeata · 19/10/2021 17:05

@namechange30455

How old is he?
He's 23.
OP posts:
Original poster
Oneeata · 19/10/2021 17:11

@Eeiliethya

How long has he worked there? I think this would make a difference.

If he's been there a month or two then it would make less of a difference than if he's been there a few years because in the case of a few years a reference would be required in which case it's not going to be great is it.

If it's up to 2 month then he could get away with leaving as a gap on his CV but this wouldn't wash with companies that require a full 5 year background check (as does mine due to security clearance reasons).

On a side note, when I was younger I started a new job, found out 3 weeks in that I was pregnant. Old employer offered to reinstate my old contract providing I could restart immediately thus getting the maternity benefits that I wouldn't be entitled to at new job.

Resigned, manager at new job insisted I work an eight week notice period. I asked if we could reach a compromise, they flat out refused. I handed in my access ID and just said I wouldn't be coming back tomorrow.
Nothing ever came from it.

I think the legality of it is if the company can prove they lose money due to your refusal to work notice (such as hire agency staff) then they are within their rights to pursue you for costs incurred, so I would consider this.

He's been at the factory for 19 months but started with an agency and then got offered a permanent contract with the company in April. So in effect only with the company 6 months.
OP posts:
Couldhavebeenme3 · 19/10/2021 17:32

Has he got set hours or is it zero hours contract?

If its zero hours then can't he just refuse the hours they ask him to work? It works both ways...

znaika · 19/10/2021 17:40

Seriously, he sounds like a good kidas he's ridden out the shit and got somewhere lined up. Him walking out is fine. I say this as a business owner. They deserve yo be fucked over if they screw their yoyng staff around. Many 23 yr olds don't have references. He'll walk out without a backwards glance. Good for him.

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 17:44

[quote Strangevipers]@Fallagain
@NavigatingAdolescence

They wouldn't give a bad reference if they have messed him around [/quote]
20 years in HR says otherwise.

Jessieabs · 19/10/2021 17:45

He should definitely do his weeks notice. It’s only a week and could effect any of his jobs moving forward. Never leave on a bad note! Who knows who his old boss could be friends with at future jobs?

It’s just 1 week! And to those saying you can’t give a bad reference, yes you can as long as it is truthful. His reference could say ‘left without serving notice’ which would be entirely true if he did.

What they can’t say is ‘x was a bad employee’ it’s too subjective but saying he did not complete his notice period would be entirely fair game and stand him in bad stead for future roles.

Strangevipers · 19/10/2021 18:03

@NavigatingAdolescence

only if they genuinely believe it to be true and accurate and have reasonable grounds for that belief.
Which according to OP they don't they have messed him around

Plus the consequence of lying for the company is getting sued and in the is circumstance they have nothing to gain

MiloAndEddie · 19/10/2021 18:10

My friend did this and they didn’t pay her at the end of the month because she hadn’t worked her notice. She lost about 3 weeks pay

Rachie20 · 19/10/2021 18:17

I think most of these jobs are easy come, easy go and very rarely check references. My brother does similar work and his approach makes me wince but the employers behave badly so the workers respond in kind. There’s loads of this kind of work in my area and dbro has never been out of work for more than 2 days. He’s on 35k for a job that requires no skills or training but few can do because it needs brute strength.

Motnight · 19/10/2021 18:22

My dd aged 21 faced a similar dilemma last year. She called in sick for the last week of her notice. She had been treated awfully and couldn't face another 5 days of it.

CAMHShelp · 19/10/2021 18:24

@Strangevipers that’s a myth. They can give negative references and the chance of an individual seeing the reference and being able to sue a company is very slim.