I am feeling so down and desperate right now that it is scaring me. My partner has basically implied that I am emotionally abusive to my children. If this is true I'd rather be dead. This is a massive trigger for me as I was emotionally abused by my mother and it took me years of therapy to get over. I've always wanted a family though so that I could create the safe secure family environment that I never had. I have 3 amazing children with my partner , 13,11 and 8 and I adore being a mum, even though it's hard sometimes, but often think how lucky I am. We both work full time so life is busy and sometimes stressful. My partner and I have had a very up and down relationship over the past 15 years. There are times I have wanted to leave him but he is a great Dad and I can't bear the thought of upsetting the children. We muddle along OK but it's not a romantic relationship. Anyway, I've always considered myself a good Mum and would do anything to protect and support my kids but I'm also stricter than partner who is v liberal. I believe boundaries are important and I.am much hotter on manners, limiting screen time etc than he is. But I am by no means 'strict'. My eldest has been through a difficult time recently and I have been wrapped up trying to get her various support from the school and GP and Camhs as her mental health is suffering a lot. I've taken time off work to be with her and do positive activities together etc. He hasn't helped but he did say thanks for all you are doing once. Although we have different approaches to parenting I've often thought it a reasonable balance but one thing has always bugged me. My partner frequently undermines me in front of the children telling me to 'calm down' if I am telling them off or he intervenes in a conversation and takes a child's 'side'. I have pleaded with him that he shouldn't do that in front of them and that we should discuss parenting styles privately if he has an issue with something. It is not like I am screaming abuse at them. But for example, if I'm telling the older one off and they just smirk and roll their eyes I will get quite cross with them and tell them it's not acceptable my partner will say I'm over the top ( in front of them). We have been having a long running argument about this this week and the way in which he seems to be 'policing' my parenting and interfering if he thinks I've overstepped the mark! He has just sent me an article which says fathers must step in when mothers use 'harsh parenting'. The definition of harsh parenting in the article was basically abuse. I feel sick. My kids confide in me a lot more about their feelings and emotions than they do him. I do the bulk of the 'emotionally supportive' parenting. It's probably true that I lose my cool occasionally and might be a bit crosser than necessary. But I don't think this is abuse? My partner also snaps occasionally and shouts unnecessarily loudly at them ( not often). My partner knows about my Mum and her abusive ways. I am swinging from thinking he is a horrible dick for implying I'm abusive and knowing how much that would floor me to thinking well he's said it so it must be true and I just can't see it. And then I want to kill myself or run away because I cannot bear the thought of being an abusive parent. I hate him for making me feel like this. He is snoring loudly in the spare room and I am curled up in a ball crying in our room. I feel.desperate. I want to leave so that I don't feel like this but I don't want to ruin my children's lives. I just want them to have a happy secure life and feel loved .