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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain

51 replies

JakeyRolling · 18/10/2021 21:34

Before lockdown happened I'd been working in my company's office at location A.
During lockdown I changed roles, meaning that when more staff are allowed back in the office I will work out of the same company's office at location B. (I'm currently wfh).
My desk at location A has been taken over by a new employee, who is among a number who have already been allowed back, so I messaged the office manager to arrange to go and pick up my stuff from my LOCKED office drawer.
It was locked as I was actually on holiday when the van on going to the office was announced and came into force.

I've been told that the facilities team has already emptied it and left it in a box for me to collect.
I am pretty angry as I had some personal items in there (nothing unprofessional, just some bits including a "period kit" with spare underwear.
I feel they should have asked me to empty it before a certain date if they wanted it done.
Aibu to complain?

OP posts:

MrsVain · 19/10/2021 09:39

I'd say your employer was very considerate.

When I was on holiday there was an "office tidy up" and a colleague decided to empty my filing drawer of personal items into the bin.

And when I was on long term sick leave the IT department wiped my computer including my contacts book, years worth of filed correspondence, etc.

621CustardCream438 · 19/10/2021 09:49

Anything that private and personal should not be kept at work. I feel the same about people who put anything personal or private on work laptops or phones - it’s not your employer’s problem and they shouldn’t need to work around it. They’ve put your stuff in a box for you, seems completely reasonable.

ElftonWednesday · 19/10/2021 09:53

I would complain if something like a pair of shoes had gone missing. But not about putting my stuff in a box, sorry.

i Anything that private and personal should not be kept at work.

What, a box of Tampax?

TulipCat · 19/10/2021 09:56

I'd say too much time has passed on this one now, both in terms of actual time, and developments in office working since Covid. Your complaint will seem petty at this point.

Original poster

JakeyRolling · 19/10/2021 09:59

Oh fgs the "personal stuff" included menstrual products and a breast pump. Breast pump to relieve pressure during working hours.

And others might not be bothered by tampons and ads but I was brought up in a conservative household and I AM.
As for office numbers as new start had not started I could have gone in with permission and been within the numbers. Now new start has started we'd be over so I need to wait until someone is on holiday to get it and keep within numbers.

OP posts:

MrsFin · 19/10/2021 10:03

@ElftonWednesday

I would complain if something like a pair of shoes had gone missing. But not about putting my stuff in a box, sorry.

i Anything that private and personal should not be kept at work.

What, a box of Tampax?

This made me laugh. We've been clearing out peoples lockers in work, in similar circumstances - though they were given the opportunity to collect their stuff before hand, and several reminders (although a surprising number claim they never saw the emails, nor the intranet articles).

We have thrown out or donated to charity over 200 pairs of shoes from 4 buildings (big company)!

ineedsun · 19/10/2021 10:05

What outcome do you want from a complaint?

621CustardCream438 · 19/10/2021 10:06

“ i Anything that private and personal should not be kept at work.

What, a box of Tampax?”

If it’s that absolutely horrifying for you if a colleague/random removals person sees it, yes. Bring tampons in your bag.

Most people do keep personal items at work, most people surely understand that in unusual circumstances like these their employer might open their desk drawers.

RobinPenguins · 19/10/2021 10:24

I’m not sure what the outcome of any complaint would be. What do you want to happen?

melj1213 · 19/10/2021 10:25

YABU - you seem to be conflating having a "personal" desk with a "private" one. The desk is company property and whilst the drawer was lockable to allow for you to leave some personal items securely it was never "private" with the expectation that nobody could see the contents.

All they probably did was unlock the drawer, tip everything into a box and move on to the next desk, it's not like they stood in the middle of the office and did a show and tell session of everything they pulled out of your desk drawer.

I work in a supermarket, we have lockers but they are purely so we have a secure, lockable place to leave things during our shift. They are not places that have an expectation of privacy as security can access them at any point with a master key.

Cocomarine · 19/10/2021 10:42

@JakeyRolling

Oh fgs the "personal stuff" included menstrual products and a breast pump. Breast pump to relieve pressure during working hours. And others might not be bothered by tampons and ads but I was brought up in a conservative household and I AM. As for office numbers as new start had not started I could have gone in with permission and been within the numbers. Now new start has started we'd be over so I need to wait until someone is on holiday to get it and keep within numbers.

You have to understand, that maximum numbers is just a way of mitigating risk. It doesn’t mean it was no added risk of you being in - to yourself or others. You could have brought Covid in, or caught it there. Your company was using (at least) two mitigating actions:

Limiting total numbers
Limiting unnecessary visits

So one person, who you didn’t work with then, and whom you’re now even in a different office, saw menstruated products and a breast pump.

Honestly - so what? Really think about that. So what?

You are a grown adult with a child. You’re allowed to move beyond ridiculous nonsense from your childhood. Would you bring a daughter up to be ashamed of menstrual products? Or a son? Think about that. Model that, even if it’s in your own mind. You’ll be a better parent for it.

Or go ahead and complain and look ridiculous AND upset someone else’s day.

Lightswitch123 · 19/10/2021 10:46

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

What do you actually want them to do as a result of you complaining?

Just let it go and arrange to collect your stuff. It's in a box, in a safe location. It's not like they are flying your knickers from the company flagpole...

nitsandwormsdodger · 19/10/2021 13:24

You seem to think your comings and goings at work are important to your managers

You and your personal stuff is not important to your manager and never will be,you are just a number

Really don’t mean that unkindly but you will be a lot happier when you accept how little thought your bosses actually give you

Sparklingbrook · 19/10/2021 14:20

If the breast pump was that vital or important to you it wouldn’t have been in your desk. You’d have gone and got it when you were back from holiday.
I don’t see the angst at all over this. Presumably you have it all back now anyway.

girlmom21 · 19/10/2021 14:33

@Sparklingbrook

If the breast pump was that vital or important to you it wouldn’t have been in your desk. You’d have gone and got it when you were back from holiday. I don’t see the angst at all over this. Presumably you have it all back now anyway.

I think the issue is that OP is embarrassed rather than that she needed it.

Tobchette · 19/10/2021 14:57

If it makes you feel any better, when I was in at university they decided to refurbish the halls over Christmas. They sent a letter but I "received" it after I had already left for a Christmas holiday.
Came back to a new bedroom cupboard and my vibrators all over the bed.

Yeah it's annoying your drawer is gone and someone may have seen your tampons but in the grand scheme of things and so many people having lost jobs during the pandemic, or even relatives or their lives, losing a drawer and having someone see your tampons is something survivable.

I still cringe about my dildo drawer ten years later but it happened, it was done, i gave them a good scrub and got on with my life and so I have confidence you can do it too op!

Original poster

JakeyRolling · 19/10/2021 15:01

@Sparklingbrook

If the breast pump was that vital or important to you it wouldn’t have been in your desk. You’d have gone and got it when you were back from holiday. I don’t see the angst at all over this. Presumably you have it all back now anyway.

I wasn't allowed in the office. No one was. And it wasn't needed as I was wfh, where my son was

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 19/10/2021 18:08

I think the issue is that OP is embarrassed rather than that she needed it

It's a breast pump.

Imnothereforthedrama · 19/10/2021 18:43

@JakeyRolling

Oh fgs the "personal stuff" included menstrual products and a breast pump. Breast pump to relieve pressure during working hours. And others might not be bothered by tampons and ads but I was brought up in a conservative household and I AM. As for office numbers as new start had not started I could have gone in with permission and been within the numbers. Now new start has started we'd be over so I need to wait until someone is on holiday to get it and keep within numbers.

Sorry but if you bring it to work you use it so why are you embarrassed. I get that you couldn’t get in the office but perhaps you should’ve explained that you had stuff that you needed as I expect most people leave stationary, mug and a out of date packet of biscuits. Nothing to complain about don’t leave personal stuff in your work drawer keep that in your bag .

FleasInMyKnees · 19/10/2021 18:50

What do you want them to do, your belongings are in a box, just go and collect them, you might just bin it all anyway if it's been nearly 2 years.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 19/10/2021 19:04

I work in a place where a random locker search can take place at any time, as can a random bag search. Believe me nobody takes any notice of tampons, breast pumps or most other things.

wbr8 · 19/10/2021 19:11

Geez. You asked the groups opinion. The groups opinion is: don't complain, your employer has done nothing wrong, get over it.

Yet you keep coming back here to fight with everyone. Can you just accept that the group doesn't agree with you, and no amount of fighting with them will get them to change their opinion.

If you didn't want to be told this, don't bother asking and just do what you want, which is clearly to complain.

mummyh2016 · 19/10/2021 19:58

My employer relocated offices during the pandemic and someone from HR packed up everyone's desks. Can't see the issue and I wasn't bothered by it. Unless you have a vibrator in your desk drawer I don't understand why you're so embarrassed.

Original poster

JakeyRolling · 19/10/2021 21:17

@wbr8

Geez. You asked the groups opinion. The groups opinion is: don't complain, your employer has done nothing wrong, get over it.

Yet you keep coming back here to fight with everyone. Can you just accept that the group doesn't agree with you, and no amount of fighting with them will get them to change their opinion.

If you didn't want to be told this, don't bother asking and just do what you want, which is clearly to complain.

I'm defending my reasons for being pissed off, rather than my right to complain. This thread has convinced me it would be pointless but I'm still pissed off by it.

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 19/10/2021 21:34

Pissed off that Facilities perfectly reasonably cleared your desk.
Not pissed off that your parents brought you up to be ashamed that women menstruate.

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