Aibu to ask for help re behavioural issues with dd?

[Threeandacat]

I have a son aged 5.5 and he seems to be quite the handful. When he was in nursery the staff said that I should speak with gp as he seemed to be a handful. he has gotten better very slightly in some aspects but feel there are just new challenges I'm going through.

I understand kids have phases and test boundaries but at which point do I ask for help? I have a meeting with his teacher tomorrow regarding his behaviour he's in Yr 1. Generally not listening at all, doing whatever he wants has zero focus when it comes to learning (phonics reading etc) gives up almost straight away if he can't do it but never really tries to do it, he's very friendly but too friendly happily walks up to any and anyone will talk/hug people he doesn't know will call everyone his friend including strangers and ask to go/invite them to our house, blurts out whatever is on his mind whether good or bad (silly things like commenting on people's appearance for example asking the postman why he has no hair) he runs off if he can. I wouldn't say he is naughty as such, he does things he shouldn't do and doesn't listen straight away has to be told quite a few times and supervised while doing what he's asked. His sleep is awful! It's never been great, he frequently wakes at night and wonders around a few occasions I've woken up to him in the kitchen or watching TV on his own downstairs. His moods are also all over can be very happy one minute and then low the next particularly if told to do something he doesn't want to. He sleeps late and wakes early it's very tiring and I resign to putting him in my bed at night so I know when he gets up I just don't know if I'm doing anything wrong? I don't even know if this is something I can get support for? Does anyone have any advice on who I would even contact for help?

Sorry that's longer than planned.

Did you speak to the GP when he was in pre school? What did they say? based on what you say, it sounds like he could well have ADHD.

Ask the teacher. I’m wondering if the teacher suspect an additional need and they may suggest seeking a diagnosis.

School nurse and HV service would probably recommend triple P parenting course. Children’s services may provide this for free in your local authority.

In which case, there's support out there; you just need to get him assessed.

I took him to see the gp who done a referral when he was 2.5 but he was 'fine' at the appointment which was one on one which I think works well for him anyway. He had a slight speech delay and still has a few issues with pronunciation but has come on far. The teacher has put things in place like taking him out to do one on one phonics but last week they sent him to reception as he was being disruptive to the other kids so spent the day there.

I wasn't sure at what age health visitors go up to I thought was only for nursery aged children. I will speak to the school

Absolutely speak to his teacher and find out how he is in the classroom. Do you have a contact for the school nurse?

I could have written much of your post op. My dc is slightly older than yours but the behaviour you describe sounds familiar especially in relation to making comments to strangers/being over familiar. My dc can wake in the night with night terrors rather than wandering downstairs.

I'm at the start of the process so not really in good place to advise. I've contacted SENCO at school in an attempt to gather a bit more information about how dc is at school and also to try and relieve dcs anxiety (tends to mask and then explodes when leaving school). I think in a few months I will pay for a private assessment as not sure about the wait on the NHS. I am questioning whether dc has ADHD as it seems likely.

Sounds a lot like it could be ADHD but the over familiar with strangers thing can also be a sign of Williams Syndrome.

You should be able to speak to the senco team at school directly with any questions or worries you have. My son's reception class teacher referred him to occupational therapy to have help with his writing as we suspect he has dyspraxia. Your son's teacher should be able to do the same.

Many of these things could be autism, or a number of other additional needs. Sometimes younger children who are verbal are hard to get a diagnosis for and it’s only when they are a bit older that the differences are more noticeable to an outsider.
Ask your GP for a paediatrician referral.
Ask your child’s teacher for an appointment with the SENCO to talk about strategies.

Thank you all so much I will speak with the teacher tomorrow about getting in touch with the senco at the school. I have considered adhd (I have a niece who suffer from autism and adhd so I'm familiar with the conditions) but maybe me being naive wasn't sure if the symptoms were the same so didn't think it could be and didn't want to just label him especially as they have said stuff like o he's just bad/naughty and it's different when they have a condition like xyz he's just acting out. But all this information has been helpful and I will ask the school for support and see what they can do to help support me. I guess I didn't want to feel like I've been doing something wrong or being unreasonable to ask for help.