About 5 years ago I had a brief fling with someone I worked with. He was very abusive, narcissistic and controlling. He was vile to me and I'm still not sure why I even gave him the time of day but at the time I was going through a self destructive spell I guess.
He would often throw me out of his house in the night. Expect me to drop my plans to see him but ignore me when it didn't suit him. He was also seeing other women. He was just disgusting and abusive in so many ways.
He was a big drinker and drug taker and (this is the difficult part) would want sex to go on for hours usually because he was so out of it he couldn't reach climax. Sometimes I would fall asleep and he'd carry on. Or I'd wake up to him doing things or trying to do things to me. I was often quite drunk too if I'm honest.
Eventually I came to my senses and got rid. It wasn't pleasant and I actually had to have time off work to avoid him because of the abuse he was giving me. Then he left and got another job. Then Covid happened. Now we have gone back to the office and I heard a rumour that this person is coming back to work at our company.
I'm in a much better place now. In a long term relationship with a great guy and settled and happy. I'm still fuming wirh myself for allowing this guy to treat me how he did though and especially the way he used me and my body like it was worthless. I have never really analysed what it was and I blamed myself a lot for being stupid enough to get involved with him and for being drunk and vulnerable when I was with him in a sexual sense.
I have no intention of raking all this up again and if I do end up seeing him in work I will just totally ignore. Does this sound like sexual abuse though? I think I need the clarity just so I can accept and move on...