To turn my engagement ring into something else

[thislifetoo]

I have been separated 3 years and nearly divorced, but it's taking a while...!!

We are amicable and have 2 sons but have had our issues, he is a liar and manipulator and has exhibited some awful behaviour since our split (and some prior) such as stalking me, crossing boundaries and some things are were worse which I won't go into.

I had a lovely engagement ring that was made for me when we got engaged, its valuation is around £8000. I know there is a poor market for selling engagement rings and it's value won't match up with what I could get for it, as far as I'm aware? I was thinking of getting it made into something else, but unsure what, it's medium sized diamond surrounded by small diamonds and diamonds on the band, so couldn't for example be 2 matching earrings. Would it also be odd to wear jewellery made from a previous piece of sentimental jewellery, especially when I have such a sour taste in my mouth from our marriage?

The way I would see it is it's an item symbolising a point in your life but my making changes to it, it represents the future you.

If I had that ring assuming you have money to put towards it, you could make it into a trilogy ring with 2 alternative stones either side (sapphire?) and incorporate the little diamonds into the band/around the gem stones? A good jeweller will be able to create a custom design and offer a few ideas!!

I'm all for jewellery recycling! My engagement ring was a trilogy and I had it turned into an eternity ring. (I'm still married). What would you like to wear?

I think it's fine. It's yours to do with what you want. I wear my engagement ring from my first marriage as one of my right hand rings, because I always loved it as a piece of jewellery and as time has passed I feel almost totally neutral about my first marriage. Odd to some maybe but I am at peace with it.

As you have said, you know that there will be poor resale value on your ring. Keep it in a box and take your time to mull over what you want by way of a piece of jewellery in your future.... Maybe you want to invest in a coloured gemstone and then get a piece made around it, using the metal and diamonds from the original ring to complement the new stone/new beginning. Or combine your diamonds with any other inherited pieces you might have into a new piece.

Lots of options and you can take your time deciding what you want / can afford.... And have fun researching ideas for remodelling

Make it into a solitaire pendant rather than a ring? Then it’s not anywhere near your fingers. It will be something which is wearable every day while being more disconnected from your past relationship.

I'd be inclined to make it into 2 pieces of jewelery

1. Use big diamond to create a solitaire necklace is classic and won't go out of style.

1. Using the remaining small diamonds I'd make a star constellation or similar design embedded on a gold disc to be worn on a necklace or bracelet OR create a ring. Something like a wave design ring

www.drakesjewellers.co.uk/app/uploads/2019/06/15.05037.jpg

There are quite a few places out there that redesign jewellery.

like this place

So what you want with your engagement ring. Redesign it if you want . It's your jewellery.

I meant Do what you want, not 'So what you want.,'

Did he decline when you offered it back?

A manufacturing jeweller or a silversmith will be able to remodel it for you. My mum inherited some very dated jewellery and had it turned into things she would wear.

@YoungGiftedPlump

Did he decline when you offered it back?

Why would she offer it back?

I know 2 people who had their engagement ring redesigned and both where lovely. I would take my time and do some research of jewellery designers or goldsmiths. If you have other good jewellery you don't wear or is broken you can use this if extra gold is needed which would keep the price down. Make sure you use someone reputable and know exactly what you are handing over.

Gold not good jewellery

@YoungGiftedPlump

Did he decline when you offered it back?

OP has no reason to offer the ring back, even in US where ane ngagement ring is supposed to go back if marriage doesn't go ahead- OP was married and is divorced. The ring is hers In U.K. the ring is hers regardless of whether they married or not. Either way, ring is OP's property to do with as she wishes.

Definitely do this as it will give you a unique piece of jewellery going forwards.

I had my engagement ring and a few other pieces (some 'nice', others quite dated rings and odd earrings) re-designed into a really lovely bangle that just has the various stones randomly round it.

To make up the amount of gold needed I also bought a few old bits, just to be melted and incorporated.

OP is under no obligation to offer it back. It was a gift.

Thank you everyone for the replies, you've given me some nice ideas and I'll definitely have a look into things. I do wonder if I'll no enjoy wearing the jewellery if it reminds me of bad times, but there was also good to come out of our marriage like our amazing children, so perhaps could just symbolise that!

I did in fact offer back the ring, he didn't want it, I also have his wedding ring that he doesn't want.

Well, melt the wedding ring down fur scrap if it’s a band or use it towards your new jewellery item. Earrings and matching necklace pendant?

Maybe something with two small diamonds to represent the children the relationship gave you, and keep the medium one to make something for when something really great happens in the future that wouldn’t have if you were still married.

I’m interested in this, any idea of the costs involved?

I gave mine to teenage dd.

She's going through a magpie phase & often wears multiple rings, & she thinks it's pretty. As far as I'm concerned, it's nice that it's found a home, & if she ends up treasuring it, that's quite sweet as it's part of her parents' history. If it rolls behind a sofa or she drops it on the bus some day, that's also fine as it's part of the past & someone else might pick it up & like it.

However, I've never been into expensive jewellery so it's silver with a semi precious stone, so no big deal!

One thing I know from divorced friends with posh rings & this dilemma is that it's going to be worth a fraction of what you paid/insured it for, so not worth selling, & arguably more expensive than it's worth to have stones re-set etc. You could probably just buy a gorgeous vintage piece for yourself without any of the hassle or emotional baggage.

I've got a few quite posh inherited bits of family jewellery which aren't to my taste & I don't wear - they're in a box & dc/future dgc might like them eventually.

Basically the vast majority of second hand/unwanted/inherited jewellery has sentimental value only, unless we're talking the Koh I Noor diamond...

@YoungGiftedPlump

Did he decline when you offered it back?

Are you always such a dick?

If I had had a daughter I'd have 100% given it to her, I have no nieces on my side of the family otherwise I'd have thought of that too.

I don't have a huge amount of money to spent to get it turned into something right now, but do love the thought of having it made into a trilogy ring but of course would need to purchase 2 more diamonds!! Not an option right now!

I’d hold on to it ajd give it to the first child in your family when they get engaged. They can then have it remodelled into an engagement ring for them or their partner. That’s fairly standard in our culture when there’s a decent sized stone in the family.

@Oneforthemoneytwo that's a good idea