Not wanting to see family who have hand foot and mouth

[sourcherries123]

So we've got an 11 week old baby currently, alongside family who live a bit of a drive away.

They've asked to meet up soon but their DD has hand, foot and mouth.

I'm not sure if I feel comfortable bringing my newborn around this, but we're now being told we're hypochondriacs and that it'll be gone by next weekend.

AIBU?

I wouldn't go, I've seen in my house how it spread around and not necessarily quickly eitherI also wouldn't care if others thought I was OTT

YANBU, I can't see how anyone would think otherwise. I wouldn't knowingly expose myself to hand, foot and mouth, never mind my kids.

If they're still infectious then 100% no. For what it's worth I have a 5 month old and a couple of months ago her 3yo brother caught hand foot and mouth from nursery. Turns out he had a really mild case and he had literally one sore on his face, some blisters on his hands and all of it appeared and disappeared within 4 days... So theoretically it could be gone by next weekend if a mild case. But in any event I wouldn't judge you for not wanting to take the risk x

The problem is that if the DD has it now, someone else in her family may be brewing it just in time for next weekend.I don't think I'd want to expose a new baby to that.

No you are not.

Absolutely out of the question. It's YOUR decision, for the sake of your baby - make that decision.

Don't go yanbu

Not at all unreasonable.

Also, when adults get HFMD it can be really brutal, my friend lost all of her fingernails and took months to grow them back as the blisters made their way under the nails.

I wouldn’t go. When DD got it we were told to carry on as normal. Which we did. But then I got it from her and it was HELL. I had in excess of 50 ulcers along my tongue and all over my mouth. I couldn’t eat, drink or talk without being in utter agony.

I wouldn’t inflict that on anyone! I know most kids are ok with it but I wouldn’t purposefully go near anyone with it now.

I’ve cancelled 2 separate occasions recently where the parent has told me the kids has HFM. Problem is I think they can still go to childcare with it (maybe after the first few days?) so it seems like not a big deal?

Good god no! My two caught it and then I got it, it was horrendous. Admittedly the go said they’d never seen a worse case in an adult but having to sleep sitting on the sofa with my feet in a bucket of water and my hands in a bucket of water on either side whilst trying to look after two breast fed toddlers was the worst week of my life to date.

YANBU. They are being selfish.

Definitely not, it's awful

YANBU at all, they can wait. Although if that's their attitude to health and hygiene generally I think I'd be making them wait a good while and not be in much of a rush to see them again...

Not at all unreasonable. Don't risk it.

Avoid avoid!

They are being unreasonable, not you.

First of all because you need to protect your baby.
Second, people that ridicule your parenting when you’re just trying to protect your newborn are arses and don’t deserve a visit anyway.

No way, kids are still allowed in childcare and school with it if they're well enough because it's most contagious before the spots appear. So there's every chance they won't be contagious by then, but why would you take the chance? Just postpone by a week.

(I'm very relaxed, didn't make people wash their hands before holding my newborns, didn't ask for masks with DD born during covid etc, but this seems like a no brainer.)

If you had an older child then they'll come across HFM anyway and the child is unlikely to be infectious next week. 3 months old is much too little though, ideally you want to avoid it until a year old at least. So just say you'll do the weekend after -(or not at all)-. I find it weird when anyone with children doesn't acknowledge that you have to be particularly careful with the under 1s, so not sure I'd be rushing to see them in any event TBH.

Thanks everyone! We defo won't be going but at least I feel like we're justified and that they're being unreasonable to say that!

Of course YANBU. You would be very irresponsible to knowingly bring your DC into contact with someone who has a highly contagious illness. I wouldn't be visiting those people anytime soon tbh, if that is their attitude towards you putting your child's health first. I would be giving them a wide berth.

YANBU it’s highly contagious and for such a young baby it may well involve a trip to the hospital, even just to be on the safe side (as in, your GP will send you there). The rash isn’t so bad but the sore throat is and you don’t want an 11 week old to miss out on fluids because their throat is covered in blisters, hence you might end up in hospital. DS had it and we did everyone the curtesy of keeping our distance. Seems like common sense to me. They are being ridiculous.

YANBU if soon means in the next few days. If it means in the next few weeks I dont see what the problem would be.

Omg no!! Don't meet them

YADDDDNBU.

It’s bloody horrendous, mine had it and were really poorly but more than anything in pain.

An adult friend of mine had it and described her hands, feet and mouth sores as feeling as if scalded.

My little one sobbed and sobbed rubbing the palms of his hands on the surface of his bed for hours through the night when he had it.

Poor poor baby could not articulate this.

No, a needlessly spread infection with no benefit to anyone causing suffering & discomfort. Why would anyone risk that?