To think DS's contact with wider family is normal

[tranquilsunlightswim]

I speak to SIL (DH's sister) normally once a week on the phone, DS who is 21 will message his Auntie on his Birthday and Christmas to thank her for the card and money or present she has got him and he will also message her on her birthday to wish her a happy birthday and will always write her a card and give her a present for her Birthday and Christmas, apart from this he doesn't have any other contact with her, he'll never ring her or decide to visit her house by himself. Speaking to friend not that long ago and she was a bit surprised at the lack of contact DS has especially because he's an only child friend thought he would want to have stronger and closer bond with family members. AIBU to think this is normal contact for someone of DS age with his wider family?

I'd say normal. I'd maybe expect more contact with similar aged cousins but that depends if they were raised to be close.

I don’t even get messages from nieces or nephews for gifts. My sil’s do that on their behalf and their ages range from 4-24.

I make sure both mine message their aunts to say thanks for gifts as I think it’s more personal coming from them rather than myself,

I don’t think there is a ‘normal’ for these things. Both of my teenagers have regular phone/FaceTime contact with their wider family without me facilitating it but that’s just our experience. Depends how close they’ve been in their early years I guess.

My DDs are 23 and 29. It would never occur to them to be in touch with their aunts and uncles at all. They have no clue when their birthdays are. If they were given gifts they would text to say thanks but we don't really do birthday gifts apart from big birthdays. We are a close enough family but we are in touch with our brothers and sisters. They younger generations get on fine when we all meet for whatever reason but are not in contact in between. I wouldn't expect a 21 yo nephew to be in touch with me at all.

Don't think there's any right or wrong but amount of contact sounds fine to me.

That’s completely normal, and more than a lot of nephews would contact their aunties to be honest. Does she ever contact him to chat?

Perfectly normal. I don’t even get a ‘thank you’ text from some nieces (not expecting a ‘thank-you’ card, but an acknowledgement would be nice, ie. text)

Sounds pretty standard at that age, especially now while they’re picking up their lives again.

Sounds completely normal to me, even now I’m an adult I don’t have that much direct contact with aunts & uncles, some families might but I think your ds’s level of contact is perfectly fine.

Not normal in my family, but we are quite a small family. I only have one aunt and I speak to her at least once a week and have done all my life. My DD (16) also only has one aunt and speaks to her daily, I can’t imagine that changing anytime soon. I guess every family is different 🤷‍♀️